True Stories: Sleeping Over For The First Time

This time there was no way my religious parents wouldn't find out.

by Chris Wiewiora

The week that Lauren and I broke up, my father had slipped an envelope through the cat door sawed into the bottom of my bedroom door. A sticker of a mockingbird sealed the clasp. The front read: (to read after you've had your coffee and are awake).

A month later, I sat in front of Lauren's dad's house in my car, with the engine on, and the lights off. It was ten-thirty p.m. and Lauren was alone. But it wasn't a me-stalking-her situation. It was me having come over to see her in the late afternoon and make her homemade buttermilk biscuits. It was her saying they were amazing while curling up next to me as we watched The Triplets of Belleville on her bed. It was us making out, and me taking off my shirt, and Lauren saying we shouldn't go much further than kissing and touching with our shirts on — just yet — because it was the first time we'd seen each other since agreeing that we were going to try again.

When Lauren said that we shouldn't go much further, I stopped. I put my shirt back on. I hadn't come over to fuck her. One of the most intimate times we'd had sex was on a Sunday when my parents were at church. Lauren and I were on the carpet of my bedroom with our jeans around our ankles.

"It's just so good," Lauren whispered.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"You're not fucking me," Lauren said. She was on the pill, but she'd always said that she liked being so close without a condom. On top, I looked into Lauren's eyes, making it last. After, she told me that I was the only guy she'd ever let come inside her.

So later, when I was idling in front of Lauren's, a half-hour drive from my parents' house, unable to get my car's lights to work, all I could think about was my father's letter:

Now that you've been with Lauren awhile, I wonder whether you've thought about your future with her — how your relationship with her is unfolding. Have you given thought to the various aspects of intimacy that you and Lauren are cultivating — social, emotional, spiritual, physical? And have you established any boundaries to physical intimacy?

My father is the copy coordinator at Campus Crusade for Christ's corporate magazine Worldwide Challenge™. (They always use the trademark symbol.) My parents have been missionaries for longer than the thirty years they've been married. From them, I grew up with the commandment to save sex for marriage. But my parents didn't know that their youngest son, who mom introduced as her "baby," had a pack of Trojans in the pair of motorcycle gloves that sat next to his Swiss Army knife and Good News Bible in the drawer of his bedside table. Bottom line: my father's letter was way too late.

My father's letter was way too late.

Stranded without headlights, I turned off my car's engine and I thought through the possibilities. I could drive home in the dark on the interstate; I could ask Lauren to drive me home; or I could call my parents to pick me up. But these options were respectively illegal, unfair, or ridiculous. I realized I'd already made up my mind, because the engine had already cooled down.

I walked back to Lauren's front door. Her dad was gone on a hunting trip that weekend with her brother. Lauren was alone, and I was about to ask to stay over. I couldn't think of anything else. I knocked, Lauren answered, and I immediately started to explain ("It's probably a fuse or the switch"). But before I could finish, Lauren said, "Stay."

Commentarium (17 Comments)

Jun 01 12 - 5:25am

Incredible story. I know the feeling of being completely in love, and yet the painful disconnect, not being able to talk to a parent about it.

Jun 01 12 - 7:56am

How humiliating for your father to print something like this and make him so recognizable as you essentially abuse his rules and trust. You sound like quite the catch.

Jun 01 12 - 10:38am

You mean printing something not nearly as revealing as the detailed personal information, complete with addresses, phone numbers, etc., that his father's ilk publish to encourage stalking of doctors who provide legitimate and legal medical services? Maybe if more of these assholes got outed they'd stop throwing stones at glass houses.

Jun 01 12 - 8:38am

Ignore these folks - it was well-written and reflective; nice job.

Jun 01 12 - 11:52am

Beautiful, sad, heartfelt. She must have been someone pretty special.

Jun 01 12 - 4:31pm
Jessie Male

This was a beautiful piece.

Jun 01 12 - 4:51pm

Well written piece.

Jun 01 12 - 9:42pm

Absolutely gorgeous, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. This segment is growing on me more and more!

Jun 01 12 - 11:06pm

I loved this; truly a gorgeous portrait of intimacy.

Jun 02 12 - 6:26am
It is possible

... that they'll have the conversation now, with this all so public and all. Perhaps this is what it took for the writer to get his Dad's full attention.

But I think this is gutsy, as well as nuanced and well written.

Hang in there, sport. I suspect a bit of heavy weather is coming your way but you're on a good track.

Jun 02 12 - 12:05pm

Somehow I doubt that his dad is reading Nerve.

This was lovely.

Jun 02 12 - 12:54pm

No, but "the copy coordinator at Campus Crusade for Christ's corporate magazine Worldwide Challenge" might know someone who does read Nerve (whether it's a friend or an apostate who likes to stir shit up). For the author's sake, I hope that when he and his dad eventually have that frank conversation they're bound to have, it's not prompted by a forwarded URL.

Jun 03 12 - 1:06am

The author is clearly old enough, mature enough and sensible enough to make his own decisions about with whom to sleep, and whether he wants to do it now or after he's married. He doesn't need a conversation with his father, because he knows exactly what his father would say. Maybe his father actually knows this, and that's why his father didn't say anything.

Jun 04 12 - 10:37am

I enjoyed this. Wish it were longer. The reflective beginning threw me off a bit but it still worked. These kind of stories make it easier for people to figure out how to make those difficult emotional-sexual-spiritual choices a lot better than any abstinence or sex ed program ever would. Thanks!

Jun 06 12 - 2:11pm

I liked this a lot. I think it was a great piece. My parents actually get Worldwide Challenge and frequently give to Campus Crusade. I've flipped through it a couple times.

Jun 07 12 - 11:21am

Why is it that people are taking the father's job/beliefs/identity and looming it over the story? Don't do the story an injustice by re-imagining its meaning.

This is beautiful and it's sweetly complex--this is not a jump off for our political beliefs.

Jun 19 12 - 6:22pm

Loved this line: "I realize that this is an emergency prayer that I could've used on having my lights work"