True Stories: The Perks and Perils of Car Sex

At age thirty-three, I finally learned how to live like a teenager.


by Sonia Aurora

"Do you hear that?"

I didn't hear anything, and I tell him so. Right now, I'm maneuvering my way on top of him, my pants at my ankles, moving my thong aside, working at pulling his boxers to where his pants are, at his knees.

We're in my car at the very back of the mall parking lot, right by the movie theater where we have tickets to some movie I'm sure I don't want to see. We have an hour to kill, and I want to have my way with him. His name is Nic, but I refer to him as "Sexboy" to all my friends. I want to feel bad about objectifying him that way, but I don't. This relationship isn't built on a lasting foundation — it began in flirty texts and lusty IMs and hasn't blossomed into anything past rushed dinners and car sex. 

Nic jerks his head back again, convinced he hears something. I want him to concentrate on me, so I shift and he gasps. This makes me feel powerful, and sordid. I own him; I own this moment. I am a goddess.

And then, the metal rap on the window — a flashlight. At the far end of this flashlight is a cop. Hello, officer.

I jump off and fall over into the driver's seat. We both scramble for composure and clothes. Nic opens his window while I shimmy my underwear up. I only have time to drape my pants over my lap when the policeman asks Nic to step out of the car. Suffice to say, I've been exiled from Olympus.

 

The first thing I think is that I'm too old for this to happen to. No, that's not true. The very first thought is, My dad is gonna kill me. I'm living at home, too old to be doing that too, which probably connects the two back-to-back thoughts. In the time that Nic and the officer talk, I think about what got me here, thirty-three and pantless. 

Five months before, I'd broken up with someone I had convinced myself I would marry. The convincing had come the four years before when we first kissed. I'd been single for too long then, waiting for the metamorphosis from awkward caterpillar to stunning butterfly. M had come along and wanted me, but I had pushed him away repeatedly. I knew that to open that door would mean a commitment I wasn't sure I wanted. And then, I decided I did want it, and turned the knob to let him in, always suspecting in the back of my head that I would break his heart.

I did, and he broke mine too, with little lies I discovered in the aftermath. I fixated on the randomest, shallowest details after the breakup, trying to establish my worth, somehow. How M was the runt of his litter of friends, always being picked on, and I had started to join in. His deep-seated anger burst in the most innocuous moments, like leaving behind a bottle of water at the store register. His car, his job, his complaints.

But what still nagged me was that his list of sex partners was triple my own. That fact needled me whenever friends told me that I had been too hot for him. I was, wasn't I? My piddly one-digit number taunted me. I was prettier, hotter, sexier, than him, somewhere inside of me. What was wrong with me that I couldn't bed more —  or as many — men as he had women?

I was raised a good girl, shy, closed off. I'd always approached sex with the caution of approaching a sleeping lion. As things with M wound down, I began to see myself as someone capable, strong, and, finally, sexy. On a work trip, I was pursued by coworkers, propositioned, and stunned that I could muster that kind of attention. The temptation grew, and I felt the transition, and so did M; I was becoming the lion. Once I was single, I decided I wanted to capitalize on it. But I lacked the tools, and once I was single, I didn't feel as confident as I had when partnered with M. I felt myself slipping backwards into timidity.

And then twenty-six-year-old Nic came slithering by to fix my computer, and now I was going to get arrested for it.

Commentarium (20 Comments)

Feb 17 12 - 6:41am
IB

Let me just say that I really enjoyed this..... well written and true.... (before the cavalcade of negative comments such as "The standard of writing on Nerve is going downhill...." and "This person is such an asshole" that inevitably follows every article on Nerve these days)

Feb 17 12 - 10:06am
Alex

My car is small so when my girlfriend and I have car sex we open the moonroof and she plays peekaboo with the homeless people on whatever dark street we've turned down. It's like her head is having sex with the air.

Feb 17 12 - 4:35pm
M David France

Sweet Baby Jesus, I thought I was gonna die laughing from that!
Thought My girl was the only one who had sex with the Air.
-should start a Moonroof Club!

Feb 17 12 - 4:39pm
Lawrence

How small can your car possibly be? I've never had that problem though she's always on top. My car is so small where when I drive, I have to tilt the seat back a few clicks so my head doesn't hit the top. My periferal vision goes through the back seat windows...

Feb 17 12 - 10:48am
MSM

Liked.

Feb 17 12 - 2:22pm
joe

50+ and rediscovering the pleasure of sex al fresco and in cars when the mood strikes. its all good.

Feb 17 12 - 3:55pm
Awesome

You GO Girl! Feeling good just reading this. Maybe a little consensual car sex is what I've been missing.

Feb 17 12 - 4:43pm
GeeBee

Mrs Bee and I have a New Year's tradition of going out to a bar we like then parking the car in some back road on the way back and having sex. This dates from when the kids were teenagers and we had (apparently quite loud) sex after we got home, only for them and their friends, partying in the family room, to give us a rousing cheer when we were done. Haven't encountered a cop yet (fingers crossed for next year).

Feb 17 12 - 6:37pm
RD

Fun story. Thank-you.

Feb 17 12 - 9:21pm
Kat

I got caught having car sex also. We were actually completely done with sex and sitting there naked post-orgasm just relaxing when the cops pulled up. The cops let us go thankfully. I don't have car sex outside of my driveway now.

Feb 18 12 - 3:48am
Liberalparadox

I haven't mustered up car sex yet-- though I've been close. It was immensely satisfying to straddle my ex in his mom's SUV. At the time, he was my ex and we were trying to be "friends." It was a "non-date" and I wore a dirty, loose flannel to prove it. But at the end of the night, he was still sexy. All I had to do was look at him sideways with a smirk, and he was on top of me. I still wanted him, and I still knew exactly how to turn him on. I've never felt sexier in my life! Lust prevails, even against ugly, dirty flannels.

Feb 18 12 - 11:18pm
eggshell73

I think I've been caught by a cop all but one time I had sex in a car. Either I'm an exhibitionist or the cops in my hometown are a bunch of perverts.

Feb 19 12 - 2:22am
name

sexy

Feb 20 12 - 3:19pm
pandabear

I got caught in a park at night and the cop gave me the "do you want to be here" line as well. I'm in Canada, so I'm guessing this is the standard thing police officers do in these situations. It is good that they ask (I guess), but I wonder why the public aspect of the sex makes rape seem more likely.

Feb 20 12 - 7:18pm
KS

Nice!

Feb 20 12 - 9:40pm
greg

I drive a Hummer H2 so room is not an issue, in fact it's fun to go places where we aren't supposed to be, like the side of a hill, or even on top of a huge dirt pile at a construction site, open the large back hatch and screw while being able to see for miles, and on the mtn. overlooking the ocean (near Malibu) with the music playing, sunsetting, just awesome. The mall parking lot or grocery store parking lots are fun as well, we just park between cars, keep everything closed and hump away all while seeing people bring groceries to their car and see mine rocking ever so slightly

Feb 21 12 - 1:58pm
kz

Love it! Although never have had car sex outside of the driveway.

Feb 22 12 - 10:43pm
renaldo

Had car sex with a co worker after a long happy hour (bad idea on many levels). Crossing the parking lot the next morning I walked behind her car and you could see foot prints on the back window.

Feb 23 12 - 5:44pm
mk

one of the best parts of being a bored suburban teenager was the fooling around in cars.

May 04 12 - 6:13pm
Tommy D

I was caught by two cops, one at each unlocked front door. They let me put an overcoat over my bare ass after pulling me out of her car. I had just met her at an Italian bar/resturant in St Louis. We had done the dirty deed in the parking lot and she drove me back to my apartment. I had let my room mate bring my car home. All of the time that they were questioning me, she was nakedly, in very salty language, explaining to the cops that there was no law against screwing in the alley. After running our identifications and the license plates, they told me that I was in a heap of trouble. They explained to me that she was the girl friend of boss of the local mob, and we were doing it in his new Caddy. I was told that when I was let out of jail the next morning, I was sure to have a welcoming committee waiting for me. What saved my ass was I think that they were as afraid of her boyfriend as I was. We were right behind my apartment and they let her go and let me go home. I never saw her again.