True Stories

Why I Went to a Couples’ Resort…Alone

Why I Went to a Couples’ Resort…Alone

“Maybe next time, ya come with a boyfriend?” The taxi driver said to me.
Why I Moved to China for a Girl I Just Met

Why I Moved to China for a Girl I Just Met

It’s difficult to explain why I thought disappearing to China for five months with a girl I barely knew was a good idea
What Happens When You Live Five Blocks Away from Your Ex

What Happens When You Live Five Blocks Away from Your Ex

I was equally stubborn: I'd been in Park Slope first, and I was determined to be in Park Slope last.
True Stories: I Cheat On Everyone

True Stories: I Cheat On Everyone

Monogamy doesn’t come easily for everyone.
Nerve Classics: Friends With Benefits

Nerve Classics: Friends With Benefits

Me, my not-quite-boyfriend, and the strange baby we sort of had.
How a Terrible Blind Date with a "Jeopardy!" Winner Shook My Self-Confidence

How a Terrible Blind Date with a "Jeopardy!" Winner Shook My Self-Confidence

"You're a lot fatter than I thought you'd be," he says.
Nerve Classics: Welcome

Nerve Classics: Welcome

An on-again, off-again affair with New York City.
Nerve Classics: 15 Stories About Dating Potheads

Nerve Classics: 15 Stories About Dating Potheads

Sometimes, the only kind of love is stoned blind love.
Nerve Classics: House Hunting

Nerve Classics: House Hunting

Shopping for a dream home on the first date.
Unnecessary Pen Pals

Unnecessary Pen Pals

Unlike most pen pals, we knew each other in person and only lived ten miles away from one another.
Nerve Classics: Hair-Removal Technician

Nerve Classics: Hair-Removal Technician

My months spent waxing the genitals of Manhattan’s wealthy.
All My Married Medieval Boyfriends

All My Married Medieval Boyfriends

"Isn't it really up to THEM to not cheat on their wives? It's not your fault if they do." Talk about perfect justification.
True Stories: Married and Promiscuous

True Stories: Married and Promiscuous

"I’m not polyamorous. I’m just a slut."
Stalking Never Seemed So Reasonable

Stalking Never Seemed So Reasonable

"We'd now been not-dating for longer than we were ever together, and I'd been acting crazy for longer than I'd ever been acting sane."
Nerve Classics: Tokyo Stripshow Tryout

Nerve Classics: Tokyo Stripshow Tryout

I went to Japan looking for work. This was not what I had in mind.
Sexless in Sin City: Leaving the Mormon Church

Sexless in Sin City: Leaving the Mormon Church

"One time, my guilt drove me to confess my shameful masturbation to my ward Bishop, a man who looked like Mitt Romney."
Nerve Classics: Shazam!

Nerve Classics: Shazam!

Me and the fetish wrestlers next door.
6 Stories About Awful Valentine's Days

6 Stories About Awful Valentine's Days

Any film with the line "ass to ass" is not suitable for Valentine's Day.
Nerve Classics: A Dram of Poison

Nerve Classics: A Dram of Poison

I roofied my wife to save our marriage.
Nerve Classics: Under the Table

Nerve Classics: Under the Table

A paean to masturbating at work.