Love & Sex

You Can Apparently Make Millions Running Illegal Sex Parties

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From $75 to $350 a head, orgies can make a small fortune.

Heed my warning: If you are checking off "Unemployed" on your tax forms as you're misering away millions from hosting hundreds of illicit sex parties, you'll get your comeuppance. A middle-aged married German couple, who have played inkeeper to sex parties since 2005, have been caught after claiming unemployment benefits wrongfully for those eight long years. Those golden years consisted of roughly 450 orgies, countless expelled semen, and no shortage of tax evasion. And if you're wondering just how much these Scrooge McFucks stood to profit from their operation, they currently owe $1.3 million in back taxes. 

The couple were interrogated by police after a hotel party in Frankfurt was broken up last week. There were only five people present at the orgy, including the suspected couple, which means they must have looked pretty pathetic (and let's face it, not that good at their jobs) during their arrest. 

The two were charging $250 per head to get into their hotel bacchanals that they held in rotating inns throughout Germany. That's actually a totally normal profit for a swingers party host. Average NYC events held by OneLegUp, School of Sex, and Chemistry can range from $75 to $499 per couple. The presumable risk incurred by a sex party host and the fact that they have to change venues almost every damn month (maid services ain't cheap!) are part of the pay off. So if you're going to start emceeing erotic events, remember to stay away from Germany, keep it clean, and always pay your taxes. If that fails, you could always go aboveground, swapping the whips for streamers. The average clipboard-carrying party planner makes a decent $50k a year. 

[h/t The Local]