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You end up going down some pretty interesting YouTube wormholes writing for Nerve. I began to research sex magic, which is a term that has come to mean a broad range of intimate New Age techniques meant to harness the energy lost in sexual intercourse into positive real world results. It goes something like this: If you breathe correctly and climax at the same time as your partner while both thinking the same things, then your dreams will come true and you will have the greatest mind blowing sex off all time. Sure there’s ton’s of people on the internet ready to make you the next 8 hour Sting-like sex god, but there’s more to Sex Magic than cumming in downward dog while you and your girlfriend envision a yacht.
sting

Sex Magic (or Magick) was an idea originated by the one and only Aleister Crowley, the great occultist of the early 20th Century. The Ordo Templi Orientis was a fraternal quasi-masonic offshoot taken over by Crowley around 1904. OTO was a secret society and had rituals, laws and stages of membership like many others. The final stages of the The Hermit Triad, the highest order, are sexual. First masturbation techniques are taught, then vaginal intercourse, then anal. The mystery surrounding Cowley’s society is ripe for sexual conspiracy theorists of all stripes and provides plenty of fuel for Christian zealot’s I-told-you-Satan-is-real sermons.

But as I began researching I found myself more and more interested in the people talking about Sex Magic on YouTube than I did with the actual practice which, like most western bastardizations of eastern practices, ends up a garble of nonsense.

For a bit of fun I thought I’d give you, in no particular order, five of my favorite Sex Magic related YouTube videos.

1 – How to do Sex Magick – by S. Ali Myers

S. Ali Myers is what I like to call an Amatuer Expert. Amatuer Experts are all over YouTube, spouting wisdom and instruction with the gravitas of a tenured professor but without any real working knowledge of what they’re talking about. Myers illustrates his point about the validity of Sex Magic by telling the story of how, after a pointed sexual magic session focusing on money, a trip to Walmart proved fruitful when they forgot to ring up an expensive printer.

2 – How to have tantric sex? – Alex Vartman

Alex Vartman is pretty emblematic of the tantric sex community: Ponytail, check. Hippie-dippy delivery, check. Namaste beads, check. Daisy Dukes…check? Vartman’s visual aids are professional and hilarious as he waxes on things like the orgasmic birth and why our sex muscles clench when we’re afraid. “A wild dog comes up on you and you clench your ass. Guys, you know it’s like when your ex-wife calls.”

3 – The Occult: Video 9: Sex Magick by Styxhexenhammer666

Wearing one of the best names on the internet Styxhexenhammer666, you couldn’t have created a more perfect example of someone who is way into Crowley and the occult. Sure, he talks about things like jerking off into a jar and growing a human but he is actually well read in the subjects he’s talking about. His instruction in his comment on the video is priceless, but considering his audience, not altogether unwarranted, “No, you’re not supposed to fuck yourself with the wand.”

4 – Can Viagra aid Sex Magick? by Mindmilling

Mindmilling has a pressing question. One for the ages, really. We all know Sex Magick works, he says. But what about Viagra? How can it help? Mindmilling is just a simple man. A man with a folding chair and a driveway and a white small dog. He sounds Canadian. He has a lot milling on his mind. Get it?

5 – Masturbation Is A Demonic Sex Magic Ritual by Chris LaSala

I can’t really put into words how much I love Chris LaSala. He’s an internet preacher and exorcist and in this video he’s genuinely upset. I don’t think I can give an introduction better than Chris can himself, ““If somebody would’ve told me… 2 years ago I would be doing masturbation videos I probably would’ve laughed in their face and told them to get out of my way… not to mention Jen’s whole family’s here… and I cast demons out of her today. Really weird, guys. Really weird. Somedays I get up and I’m like, what is going on with my life? I just don’t get it. I can’t believe there’s a devil and I can believe there’s a Jesus. But thank God there’s a Jesus. Okay. Masturbation’s a sin, guys. It’s a big one.”