Eight Movie Women Saved by Getting Sexed Up

Want to live your dreams? Apply red lipstick and then tear open your shirt.

Burlesque - Christina Aguilera

By Amanda Green

Are you a woman? Stuck in a dead-end job? Pesky dreams just not coming true? All you have to do to transform your life is slink, shimmy, and maybe pour some water on your chest. It’s true. I learned it at the movies.

1) Gypsy

Louise is an awkward young-woman whose dreams of showbiz success are dying on the vine. And then she becomes a stripper. Back then, that just meant trading in your fox furs for some flesh-colored undies and a brazen smile. But still. Instant happiness.

2) Grease

Sometimes the only way to say "I love you" is to completely change who you are. It's the best lesson Sandy learns at Rydell High. She teases her hair, puts on tight black clothing, and starts smoking. Danny gets chills and wants to start multiplyin'.

3) Flashdance

Working all day in a steel mill is hard. But a girl's got to dump the welding helmet and slip into a leotard if she's going to make her dreams come true. (It also doesn't hurt to charm the boss with a lithe torso and off-the-shoulder sweatshirts.)

4) Dirty Dancing

Even the mousiest daddy's girls have a slinky siren in them. All they need are dance lessons and a forbidden romance with a ballroom dancer from the wrong side of the tracks. But watch out: he could put a baby in your corner.

5) Coyote Ugly

Who needs a career ladder to climb, when you’ve got a bar? Violet moves to New York City from faraway New Jersey to be a singer. No, she doesn't practice or go on auditions. She takes off some clothes and gets a job at a trashy bar. Then the singing audition comes to her. 

6) Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Janey is new in town – and she’s a little frumpy. How will she ever get on track? Obviously, via sweaty dancing and drum-machines. Then, she can truly realize her dreams. 

7) Crossroads

Life is hard when you're not a girl, not yet a woman. It'll all make sense when you go on a road trip with your girlfriends, losing inches of your clothing with each mile. By the time you're performing karaoke in a seedy bar, the epiphany will come: this is as hot as you'll ever be. Exploit it.

8) Burlesque

A small-town girl moves to L.A. with no job, no friends, and no idea how to reach her potential. Don’t forget the secret. All she has to do to get everything she ever wanted — plus a shitload of rhinestone-spangled leotards — is take off her clothes and shimmy.

Commentarium (9 Comments)

Nov 22 10 - 6:24pm

For my money, Flashdance sets the transformation bar pretty high. There should be another section for "pretty ugly girls" like in "She's All That."

Nov 22 10 - 10:05pm

This was a very nice ad for "Burlesque".

Nov 22 10 - 10:39pm


Nov 22 10 - 11:07pm

Flashdance is hot. tb, if anything, this makes Burlesque looks like the stupid piece of shit it is. I mean, I picked up on sarcasm here. Just me?

Nov 23 10 - 12:03am

Amanda, were you thinking of Coyote Ugly when you wrote Coyote oldly in your Viagra piece? I think the word should be spelled kye-oaty.

Nov 23 10 - 3:13pm

can't believe they haven't changed the terrible misspelling in the title

Nov 23 10 - 7:58pm

So THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all this time. Thanks, Nerve! I'm going to try this at my next shitty performance review... hey, if I'm about to get fired, then I might as well go out fulfilling my dreams.

Nov 25 10 - 10:15am

look look HTTP://TA.GG/4OR

May 19 11 - 11:16am

Grease <3 <3 awSome movie and Cute scEne