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Five Gingers I’d Like to Shag

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Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but I don’t.

Spend five minutes on any dating site, and you’ll find men in search of red-haired women. “Real” redheads with their fiery tempers (and crotches?) are one of the internet’s favorite fantasies. But their male counterparts, often derisively called "gingers," get far less love. Until now. In honor of this week’s release of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows and of carrot-tops everywhere, I offer up this list of five ginger dudes I’d love to fuck.

Rupert Grint

Rupert Grint

Is it weird to have feelings of sexual attraction for an actor most recognizable for his work in his early teens? Perhaps. But I don't care if it's creepy or if he is technically a couple years my junior — Ron Weasley is the ultimate ginger and I would love nothing more than to make out with him. First off, he is super-freckly. Secondly, he is British, rich, and perhaps a wizard. Lastly, his name is Rupert Grint, which is the world’s most gingery name.


Prince Harry

Prince Harry

I’m aware that many women prefer the other, blander, prince of this royal family, but that’s because they’re boring and into boring shit. Blond Prince William may captivate the tabloids, but it’s his younger brother who captivates my fantasies. And yes, his royal status adds to his red-hot good looks. There's no denying that I would sleep with this man. And then I would be a princess with some cute, freckled, royal children.


Conan O'Brien Conan O'Brien

Who could forget the ginger of the hour, Conan O'Brien? This funny man proved to everyone that even after a public thrashing, redheads of the world have the ability to overcome adversity via moving to cable television. In addition to being a handsome man, he proudly emphasizes his amber locks with his signature coiffure. This ought to serve as an example to any self-loathing gingers; your hair is an asset! (Especially if you're trying to sleep with me.) O'Brien is also super tall and gangly; I appreciate this fact as I strive for all my boyfriends to physically match me — much like an accessory. Ivy-educated, musical, and a writer, Conan's the total package (tied-up with a red bow).


James Spader James Spader

Perhaps it was viewing Secretary during my formative sexual years that left me with a penchant for kink, gingers, and doing kinky stuff with kinky gingers. While I've loved him in Crash and Boston Legal, I'll always treasure my fantasy of Mr. Grey forcing me to read my typos aloud.


Woody Allen

Woody Allen

While no longer technically a ginger in his advancing age, this is a hypothetical list of people that sadly, I will probably never get to bang. So I submit Woody Allen who, in his earlier, "gingerier" days, embodied many of the attributes I find most sexually appealing: he’s funny, successful, hardworking, Jewish, and, of course, his head is the color of Communist China. My dating history has led more than one friend to accuse me of having a "Woody Allen Complex," but I don’t care. Bring on the neuroses and inability to withstand prolonged sun exposure.