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October 6, 2010
The Seven Sexiest Mental Patients
of Cinema
So hot, they drive us crazy.
By Lindsay Cutler
This Friday, Zach Galifianakis returns to the silver screen in It's Kind of a Funny Story to play a charmingly bearded inmate at a mental institution. It got me thinking about crazy people — they can be so nice and so wise. Sometimes, they can also be sexy as all hell.
Hannibal Lecter, Silence of the Lambs
There is something undeniably sexy about the creepy, commanding sensuality of Hannibal Lecter. The first time Clarice confronts him, you’re pretty sure you've got the power dynamic down. Clarice: outside of the cell. Hannibal: inside of the cell. But within ten minutes, Hannibal flips the relationship on its head, drawing Clarice eerily close to the glass with some good old-fashioned mind-fuckery — and a great pair of blue eyes. Yeah, the guy’s sick in the head, but how many of your old flames could sketch the Duomo from memory, true-to-scale? Also, he gets points for being a doctor. (License revoked, but whatever.)
Don Juan, Don Juan DeMarco
In Don Juan DeMarco, Depp plays a man who believes he's the actual Don Juan. Which might be a little difficult to explain to your friends — “So I’m seeing this really hot, really charming guy who keeps trying to fight all of my ex-boyfriends. I don’t know what to do! He’s great at sex.” — but thankfully, his brand of crazy makes him emulate great lovers of Spanish history and not, say, Ed Gein. Extra points for having Marlon Brando as your own personal confidante.
Teddy Daniels, in Shutter Island
Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in Shutter Island is a man so good, so caring, so devoted to his family that when he loses his family, he doesn’t even know who he is anymore. And yeah, he goes a bit crazy. But so what if his mission in the movie was not actually a mission, but a little chaperoned project overseen by his crazy doctors? So what if he's totally nuts? He's sweet; he's a family man; and he's totally gorgeous. Even during fits of paranoid fantasia, this guy conjures up entire people just to help them.
Lisa Rowe, Girl, Interrupted
It’s easy to dote on Winona Ryder’s character in this film. She’s the soft-spoken, doe-eyed foil to Jolie’s arm-flailing rage. And yet, Jolie is the one we can't stop watching. Sure, she’s damaged in a way that might make her dangerous to be around, but how many people can play sociopaths with total disregard for others and still seem attractive? Chalk it up to good casting — Jolie can make any role sexy.
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Angelina Jolie
Commentarium (39 Comments)
I'm surprised you didn't mention Brad Pitt in Twelve Monkeys. The omission of Danny DeVito in Cuckoo's Nest I understand, but I thought you ladies were gaga about Pitt, and would have at least included him on a list with Hannibal Lecter. Maybe you thought Brangelina would be too much.
Not surprised by the DeVito omission, but I am by the Jack Nicholson (of the same film) omission. By far the sexiest mental patient. By. far. mmm.
I was gonna mention Randle McMurphy, but he wasn't really a mental patient until the very end.
Hey, you know what sucks? When crazy and abusive people are romanticized by popular culture.
Well, their list could only hold seven, can't expect that much....
nitpicking here, but Nash was more about math and less about physics, at least as portrayed in the film
This list has a gaping hole in it that could be beautifully filled by Jack Nicholson's character in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." Yes, I know he's not truly insane, but his asylum irrationality makes even the most reserved want to break out and be free.
Yeah, Nicholson is sexy but not an actual "mental patient."
I know some of the ladies like Dicaprio, but it's a huge stretch to say that his character in "Shutter Island" was sexy. There was nothing sexy there.
Would Brad Davis in Midnight Express qualify?
Vinegar Bend - I know it seems ridiculous to you and I, but if some ladies think Leo was sexy in "Shutter Island," there's nothing we can say, that's their opinion, although I suspect he was included because Lindsay was running out of cinematic mental patients, and either didn't see or forgot about Cillian Murphy in "Batman Begins."
Gee, thanks for spoiling Shutter Island.
Didn't Cillian Murphy's character run the asylum in Batman Begins? (Crazy though he may have been?)
Moops, if you haven't seen it by the time it's left theaters, you don't get to complain about spoilers.
Also: the chicken was a baby.
Kudos for your mention of Deanie (Deenie?) from Splendor in the Grass. The girl went nuts...
What about Sarah Connor in T2? I kinda grooved on the "I'm gonna make you my prison bitch" attitude she had in the asylum...
Totally down with Sarah Connor in T2. I wasn't sure if I wanted to have sex with her or BE her.
Jean Seberg in Lilith!
All great, but where's Jessica Lange in Frances?!
Seriously, nobody is going to mention "Benny and Joon"?
Good piece. There's a clever piece about the best style icons of murder on popshifter - pretty funny stuff.
You think Mary Stuart Masterson is sexy, and not girl-next-doorish? I'm not saying I wouldn't let her polish my knob, but i've never fantasized about her in my life.
I think I'd be willing to stretch the definition of "crazy" to include Charlize Theron in Devil's Advocate for this article.
hellooooo.. GOTHIKA
elizabeth taylor in "suddenly, last summer"??
What about Bender in "Bender's Game"? Hubba hubba!
what about foreing cinema? The Princess and the Warrior a Tom Tykwer film with Franka Potente and Benno Furrmann. Most sexy mental patients and passionate film
Oh, you meant foreign cinema, I was trying to figure out what foreing cinema was, I initially thought it had something to do with foreskin, which wouldn't surprise me, having learned about hermaphrodite porn from this very site. Yes, I don't see why foreign films shouldn't be included.
You're absolutely right Sunbury... I couldn't agree more
I think Ralph Phiens in "Spider" is great!
Ralph Fiennes is pretty good in "Spider" as well.
What really sucks is when mental illness is equated with violence and sociopathy. I like Nerve for its fairly natural, easy, and non-judgmental attitude about sex and sexuality. Too bad it couldn't do the same about living with mental health issues.
Malcolm McDowell as Alex DeLarge.
It doesn't get any sexier.
thanks for the shutter island spoiler.
a) don't worry about the shutter island spoiler. it sucked anyway.
b) bearman33, quit being a d*ck
Betty Blue
how'd nobody from "on the edge" make it onto this list? first film that came to mind!
BIG Shutter Island spoiler alert. NOT COOL.
GooD List alTough Without Jack Nicholson's character in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest aND the shiNing :) AND Kathy Bates IN ( Misery) .
whenerver I WouLD chose The adorAbel Angelina Jolie On ( Girl Interrupted )