The Ten Funniest Action-Movie Trailers in Cinema History

Is the Unstoppable trailer supposed to be so funny?

Unstoppable

By Amanda Green

1. Unstoppable

In the trailer that inspired this list, an unmanned freight train carrying hazardous chemicals is improbably on the loose traveling northward at fifty miles per hour. What will it kill first: a horse, schoolchildren, or Denzel Washington's career?

2. Armageddon

Up to second twenty-nine, you're thinking the only possible explosion in this movie is happening somewhere around Liv Tyler's cervix. But you're wrong.

3. Desperado

Gunslinging (even from a guitar case, ese!), explosions, and forced entry all in time with Tito Puente. How do you say WTF in Spanish?

4. Crank 2: High Voltage

An accented protagonist can't save every film, especially when it's an action movie about a man literally looking for his heart. On the bright side, there's a character named Poon Dong.

5. Anaconda

Jennifer Lopez is a scientific researcher who's traveled to the unknown Amazon to prove the existence of a long-lost tribe. And that's the believable part.

6. Passenger 57

A hijacker is caught and taken to trial... on a plane. Passengers, prepare yourself for bad puns, obvious plot lines, and a possible cameo by Kenny G.

7. Under Seige

Movie tagline: "Never underestimate the strength of a food-service professional when a battleship armed with nuclear weapons is hijacked."

8. Jurassic Park 3

Turns out, those long-clawed dinosaurs with a brain the size of a walnut are smarter than primates. Let's go to their island!

9. Double Team

This was originally a porno starring Dennis Rodman as RuPaul playing Dennis Rodman.

10. Double Impact

Van Damme times two! Double the fun! Van Damme plays twins! It's The Parent Trap with guns! Damme!

Commentarium (22 Comments)

Nov 08 10 - 4:10am
bearman33

Hasn't Denzel's career been dead since Training Day? The best i've seen since then was Jay Pharoah's impression in that hotel skit on SNL. Also, I would have liked to have seen two Muscles from Brussels doing bumps, and two having mild heart attacks simultaneously, or at least two Van Dammes getting knocked out by two Chuck Zitos. And now we're under siege by Segal's fake Louisiana accent on his Lawman show.

Nov 08 10 - 6:22am
choo choo

what is it with denzel washington and shitty movies involving trains?
didn't he just have one with john travolta that looked even worse?????

Nov 09 10 - 10:33am
tonjiboy

Van Damme is easy prey. Hard Target not withstanding.

Nov 09 10 - 11:42am
Denzel Foreva

Unstoppable does look really bad, but I don't think Denzel's career is over just yet. I liked American Gangster.

Nov 09 10 - 4:05pm
Daniel

Both Crank 2 and Desperado are action comedies

Nov 09 10 - 4:38pm
anty

How, oh how, could you ever leave Over the Top off this list?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gB5iDUnx0iY

So bad its AWESOME.

Nov 09 10 - 4:43pm
anty

And another... Rollerball (2002) - I could maybe handle it until they used Limp Bizkit...

Nov 09 10 - 10:16pm
Brobert

they all have the same announcer guy.

Nov 09 10 - 10:33pm
MikeC

The legendary Don LaFontaine did the voiceover for most of these trailers. He pretty much made the genre. You don't even hear those anymore.

Nov 09 10 - 10:54pm
RTF

A close equivalent to "what the fuck?" in Spanish is "¿qué coño?" It literally translates to something like "what the twat?" but the meaning is analogous. You can also use "¿qué carajo?" if you'd rather refer to a cock than a twat; the meaning is the same.

Nov 09 10 - 11:18pm
Amanda Green

RTF, thanks for the Spanish lesson. I know it'll come in handy.

Nov 10 10 - 11:46am
grinningdog

The weird thing about "que cono" is that it's pretty acceptable to say, i heard it all the time when i lived in spain. their big one that you can't say, under any circumstances whatsoever, is something about god, "me cago en dois" or something like that. people will faint and/or do the sign of the cross when they hear it.

Sep 10 11 - 5:08am
Cancunito

- That may be in Spain, or rather surely it is there where they use the "me cago en dios" (I shit on god) expression... In Mexico or else in Latin America, no one would use it, though it can be perfectly understood, as a weird sentence rather than insulting... As for the 'coño' and 'carajo' ones, they are of poor taste, uneducated sort of expressions, but passable if not mentioned too often... Jeje, more Spanish *_*

Nov 10 10 - 6:04pm
DwimmerCrafty

Two things:

a) you missed Bad Girls. Seriously: fix it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7b69nY28Rkk

b) space dementia!

Nov 10 10 - 6:44pm
Nick

Book of Eli ring any bells? that was a great movie as was American Gangster. Also, Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 wasn't a shitty movie, it was a modern remake that did fairly well and was fairly good. In response to his career being dead since Training Day; Book of Eli and Man on Fire came after that, both which were very good movies.

Nov 11 10 - 1:46am
Secret Character

Denzels movies arent getting old. We're so used to his style of acting its seeming to become stale. I love it though. "I'm stepping on it, in it, around it, and through it!" This trailer is just not even TRYING to pull back from every action cliche in the book and neither is Denzel from his so familiar Denzel Cliche Acting bag. It looks as though audiences will begin to pick apart and disseminate this movies plot in the first half hour if not the first 10 minutes. Youre going to shoot the train? Honestly?

Nov 11 10 - 10:26am
Claudia

Brasil is a great market for action movies. So I would like to contribute with some trivia.
This is how yuo say WTF in Portuguese: ` Que porra e essa`

Nov 11 10 - 11:46am
scott carberry

The BEST thing about the "Armageddon" trailer is they actually say Will Patton's name. Even Will Patton was thinking, "Jeez, they must have had a nano second to kill"

Nov 11 10 - 1:34pm
Henry

Please, people. Denzel just won a Tony Award. He has two Oscars. His movies make money at the box office. He's international. Don't hate him 'cause he's not on 'Dancing with the Stars'.

Nov 12 10 - 4:11am
It stands to reason

If the people who made "Under Seige" (sic) didn't even know about "i before e except after c except when sounding like 'a' as in 'neighbor' and 'weigh'," how could they possibly have been expected to make a non-silly trailer?

Nov 14 10 - 10:00am
Debbie

Bad Denzel, good movie - good Denzel bad movie

Nov 14 10 - 8:05pm
margoGo

"Twice the VanDammage!" --Classic.