A Sex Doll is Born 5/31/2007 5:00:00 PM
This great gallery takes us behind-the-scenes at a "Real Doll" Factory. We are completely fascinated by these dolls and the people who purchase them. Elena Dorfman also photographs the dolls with their owners as they wear sexy lingerie, relax at home, and stare into space. (via Wired) NP
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Beth Wants to Ditto Kate Moss 5/31/2007 4:00:00 PM
As you can see, Gossip vocalist Beth Ditto is naked on the cover of NME Magazine,, which is cool. And she's down on dieting and social pressure to be thin, which we're also glad to hear. But, she's been hanging out with Kate Moss, who "said the most amazing things about bodies." From what we can tell, Kate implied that bigger bodies are just as nice as smaller ones. Beth, some advice: Don't celebrate your size by name-dropping Kate Moss, and don't alienate gay men by blaming them for unattainable standards for female beauty. Do keep taking it off onstage though. We're in favor of that. NP
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An Angel in the Shape of a Porn Star 5/31/2007 3:01:00 PM
Good Vibrations interviews porn star and self-described "man with a pussy," Buck Angel. In the interview, Buck talks about winning the AVN Transsexual performer of the year award, smoking cigars, and his newest movie, Buckback Mountain. Free Porn Alert: If you dig deep into the film's website, there's a very revealing promo. NP
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Sexy Vegetarians: They Save the Meat for the Bedroom 5/31/2007 2:00:00 PM
Some of our best friends are vegetarians. (No joke!) We love them, because they always give us their bacon. To celebrate such selflessness, PETA wants you to vote for the world’s hottest vegetarian. Winner gets a set of steak knives! SH
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Video of the Day: VD Is for Everyone 5/31/2007 1:00:00 PM
Social scientists have tried many way to stop the spread of STDsbut what about through the glory of song? This PSA's lovely ditty, perhaps taken from Woody Allen's little-known musical masterpiece Everyone Says I Have VD, is social message with a kick-ass lyric line. Man, we can't wait to get VD. It looks awesome! (via Gigglesugar) SH
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Nurses: More Stressed and Sleep-Deprived Than Naughty 5/31/2007 12:00:00 PM
So that nurse who gave you a sponge bath when you fell off the roof and broke both your legs, she didn't want to kiss it and make it all better, she wanted a good night's sleep and a stiff drink. A survey in Britain's Nursing Times magazine claims that work-related stress negatively affects the sex lives of many nurses. Work-related stress can also lead nurses to smoke and drink more. Not a surprising revelation. If catheters were a regular part of our job, we'd drink more, too. NP
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Is Anyone Else As Obsessed With the Creation Museum As We Are 5/31/2007 11:00:00 AM
We know, we know, we pretty much posted this picture yesterday. But look at it! Weren’t you ready to see it again? Notice Adam and Eve’s shiny, lustrous black hair. Notice how they clearly have the yearly pass at Tan Xpress. Notice how Eve tries to engage Adam in a game of farkling, but he’s all, “No, no, baby, let me just stroke your weave.” This is a direct reference to a passage from Leviticus. Or Ludicrous. We forget now; our brain is full of mud. The point is that we are a wee obsessed with Kentucky's new $27 million Creation Museum. We cannot get enough of Biblical creatures chilling with the dinosaurs. Thankfully, Salon is there for us. SH
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Cockblocked by Google Earth 5/31/2007 10:00:00 AM
Now that such details as faces, license plates, and Steve Jobs’ house are showing up on Google Earth, lying about porn just got a whole lot harder . NP
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In the News: All These Condoms and No Place to Put Them 5/31/2007 9:00:00 AM
Algeria has 10 million free condoms to distribute. Sadly, no takers.
New studies show that female cheetahs are such total sluts.
Question for the Ages: Does semen make women happier?
Inside the sexual lives of evangelical teens.
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ABC News Puts Squeeze on Cleavage 5/30/2007 5:01:00 PM
ABC News, our first and only source for news about the tatas, has brought us a story about etiquette for showing your girls. How much boobage to flash at work? When is it appropriate to raise your shirt and lick your left nipple? Now here is news we can use. SH
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Today in Nerve: The News With Jenny P. 5/30/2007 4:30:00 PM
This is Jenny P. She has news updates for you. Can't you tell? Her friend Greg just got laid. How do we know? We watched her first installment of the new daily video feature, Nerve News, natch.SH
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Survey Says... the Family Feud Set for Sale on eBay 5/30/2007 4:00:00 PM
Our family carries its own Family Feud set with us at all times. We call it OUR FISTS. That’s right, there’s nothing like ending an argument about Christmas dinner with a right hook to poor dad’s chin. Some of you, however, may need a good old-fashioned television set to get your Family Feud on. For you, there is eBay.
In today's ludicrous eBay auction, the Family Feud set is currently being auctioned off, though we’d hate to see the shipping and handling on this sucker. Sadly, the set has been updated since the Richard Dawson glory days. A fancy flat-panel TV screen? Bleh, garbage. But those numbered, sliding panels that practically creak when you move them? Now if you asked 100 people, at least half of them would totally shell out bank for that. SH
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In Our Wildest Dreams, We Will Never Be This Cute 5/30/2007 3:00:00 PM
Thea Spyer and Edith Windsor were married last week in Canada. However, that sentence doesn't begin to describe how adorable this couple is. They are "babies riding on puppies" adorable. Edith and Thea met in the 60s when lesbian bars were "rough," and they danced until Edith had a hole in her stockings. Seriously? That shit is giving us a cavity. Thea is now paralyzed in her legs and arms due to MS, and she said of their relationship and wedding, “It was a feeling of complete delight in being with her. I had a real sense of ‘I’ve landed in my life.’” Any development executives searching for the plotline for If These Walls Could Talk 3? Here you go. You can thank Scanner in the credits. NP
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Video of the Day: Knocked Up Gets All Clever With Marketing 5/30/2007 2:00:00 PM
Knocked Up looks to be the Date Movie of the summer. That is, if you can get a date. Otherwise, it's the Family Movie of the summer. Your grandma is gonna LOVE all the rimjob jokes. Knocked Up comes out this Friday, and we wouldn't be doing our jobs if we didn't build it up so much that it spoiled the whole thing for you. Right?? So here is a little bit of cheeky viral marketing that's burning its way around ye olde interweb. Bonus points? It stars Arrested Development's Michael Cera, doing his best spoiled actor imitation. SH
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We Already Mistake Britney for Sewer Sue 5/30/2007 1:00:00 PM
Since Britney Spears and Tom Cruise are considered universally loathsome, shouldn't we have collector's items honoring their scabby obnoxiousness? "Hollywood Zombies" trading cards are a natural next step. It's the Garbage Pail Kids but inspired by real people, which makes the whole thing meaner and, in the end, funnier. NP
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Iron Woman With Velvet Gloves Could Easily Break You in Half 5/30/2007 12:30:00 PM
Feel like there's not enough sideshow in your life? (As if there could ever be enough sideshow in your life.) These photos and videos of Joan Rhodes, aka the Mighty Mannequin, should help you get your fill. Watch her bend pipes across her knee, break six-inch nails, and tear phone books in half without breaking a sweat. This is so clearly our kind of woman. We want to party with Joan, and watch her arm-wrestle sailors. But mostly, we want to be Joan. NP
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New Glamour Dating Columnist: One of These Guys Is So Laid 5/30/2007 11:26:13 AM
Jake is the name of Glamour’s anonymous dating columnist. He’s like the Pussycat Dolls, or the Dread Pirate Roberts-- the people behind the name change, but the name itself doesn’t. The old Jake is getting hitched or something, and so Glamour is looking for the new Jake. Only this time, we get to vote. So who will it be, ladies? One of these bachelors is a single dad and a rocker. One is a former intern at Gawker who now works at Radar and apparently has an itchy head. And the third came incredibly close to being the leader of the free world. Who will get your final rose? SH
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Incredibly Good-Looking Runner’s Life Ruined by Posts Like This 5/30/2007 10:43:34 AM
18-year-old track star Allison Stokke is having a hard time of things. Seems that while her stellar pole-vaulting record has attracted the attention of a few college scouts, her stellar body has attracted the attention of a few million horny-ass internet users. According to this story in the Washington Post, after her picture made its way to the slavering Internet, Stokke’s life has been sandbagged by emails, interview requests, and phone calls. This is terrible, and needs to stop. However, do we have to be the ones to say it? She’s really hot.SH
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The Booty Burglar: Thief Asks Out Woman He Robbed 5/30/2007 9:23:28 AM
Strangely, this did not work out for him. SH
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In the News: Jerusalem Is for Lovers 5/29/2007 5:35:07 PM
Jerusalem woos gay and lesbian tourists with hot new ad campaign.
Bomb squad called in and village sealed after suspicious buzzing package found. It was (altogether now!) a sex toy.
Man found to be sniffing 1,500 women’s shoes. What? He was a Sex and the City fan.
Let someone rational explain what hell is happening with the world’s bees.
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I Hate Myself for Loving You: Jessica Biel 5/29/2007 5:00:00 PM
It's easy to bag on the mainstream. Tabloid celebrities suck, blockbuster movies blow, bestselling books are written by illiterates. But what if you accidentally love things that are popular? Now THAT can be embarrassing. Here at Scanner, we embrace the embarrassment. We flaunt it. And now, we have a new series that spotlights the things we just hate to love.  |
Ever since Jessica Biel hired a fancy-ass stylist, I see her face everywhere. And I can't think of a single good movie she's made. She was in 7th Heaven for chrissakes, and I'm guessing she's not that bright. However: The photos of herbroad shoulders, fat lips, shelf ass, adorable dogthey haunt me. I want to do very bad things to her, and then fall asleep at the foot of her bed. She is not supposed to be this hot. She is supposed to get chased around by Leatherface. (Shit. She was even hot getting chased by Leatherface.) Does she have nothing better to do than be Justin Timberlake's beard? This makes me angrier than straight girls who go to lesbian bars for the attention. I hate those girls. But mostly, I hate myself for loving Jessica Biel. And Jessica Biel's phenomenal breastages. NP
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Bad Phone Sex: I'm Wearing a Red Nose and Suspenders. What Are You Wearing? 5/29/2007 3:30:00 PM
What do Clippy the Microsoft Word helper, clowns, Jewish mothers, and
old timey barbers have in common? All were fantasy fodder during prank
calls to phone sex operators. We feel bad for the women on the other end of the line. You hope they realize these are prank calls, but you fear that the real thing can be much, much worse. NP
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God Made Adam and Eve, Not Adam and … WTF? 5/29/2007 2:55:57 PM
Perhaps you have heard about the Creation Museum in Kentucky. It opened yesterday. We haven’t visited yet (can’t wait till Labor Day!), but in the meantime, a visitor has posted his own photo essay, which includes this rather jawdropping animatronic Adam and Eve. Looks like Bjork’s new video. Man, if you don’t think about it too much, this is kinda hot. SH
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Recent Virgin Getting Much More Tail Than You 5/29/2007 2:00:00 PM
Gentlemen, having trouble getting laid? Maybe it’s time to lose your virginity on a reality television show. (We suggest Wife Swap.) That’s working out for James Reilly, who was deflowered on the BBC reality show Virgin School. (Previously written about on Scanner here.) According to this article, hundreds of British women now want to tap that. Sadly, most of those are near-sighted stewardesses who mistook him for Ralph Fiennes. SH
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Fantasy Becomes Uncomfortable Reality at Celebration IV 5/29/2007 1:15:00 PM
At Star Wars Celebration IV in the L.A. Convention Center, a whole slew of women dressed up as Slave Leias and posed with a Jabba the Hutt statue. Did Star Wars conventioners (We know there's probably a better name for y'all, but we're too lazy to look it up.) pool their money and hire these women? It's hard to imagine this many ladies at the convention, let alone this many who want to dress up like Slave Leia. We admit, we're going on assumption here, but you can't blame us for feeling a little skeeved: There was a toddler in a Slave Leia outfit. NP
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Poland Mourns Falwell's Death by Freaking Out Over the Teletubby Purse 5/29/2007 12:26:59 PM
After what we hope was Jerry Falwell's final appearance in the news,
Poland has taken up one of his favorite idiot causes: gay teletubbies. Thought you'd escaped this life-suck? Like cockroaches, or Michael Myers, this bastard will not stay dead. (Let's hope the same isn't true for Falwell.) Again, it's all about the purse. Or, the murse. Or, whatever. Tom Brady rocks the murse, and he's won three superbowls. People need to chill, and recognize that sometimes a man needs to carry his things on his person. NP
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Miss USA Dreams of World Peace, Shorter Heels 5/29/2007 10:18:55 AM
Skipped the Miss Universe pageant last night? Miss USA sure hopes you did. During the evening gown portion of the competition, Miss USA slipped and fell. Yikes. That’s more embarrassing than the fake-eyelash-and-falsies debacle of 2004. The girl recovered like a champ; you get the feeling she'd wink and wave even as she was being gunned down by militia. But bloodthirsty Mexican audiences booed the poor thing when she gave her little interview, in which she was asked, “If you could go back and re-live one moment in your life, what would it be?” Ouch. SH
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Who Would You Rather: Prince William v. Prince Harry 5/29/2007 9:40:28 AM
It’s been nearly 10 years since their mother died, and about four years since it became moderately acceptable to talk about banging them both in a royal twosome. Now, they’re full-on men. William: Toothy heartbreaker and charismatic golden boy recently split from his fiancee. Harry: Shy, ginger-haired do-gooder who tried to emerge from his brother's shadow by going off to war. We love them both, especially at night, in the dark, when no one can hear. The question is: Who would you rather: Prince William or Prince Harry?
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In the News: That Beard and Jacket Aren't Fooling the Judge 5/29/2007 8:39:36 AM
Pakistan same-sex couple jailed. If you were looking at the picture, we bet you didn’t see that “same-sex” part coming.
Desperate Iraqi refugees turn toward sex trade.
Death or No Death: Terminally ill game show contestants compete for woman’s kidneys.
Not sure what you want to do with your life? Why not major in Facebook?
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