Drive Time Meditation: Kids Today and their iPods
8/14/2006 5:00:00 PM
According to a recent study, teenagers who listen to sexually explicit music as virgins are more likely to engage in "early sexual behavior." Did listening to Prince lead directly to your virginity loss?
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And Now, a Knitted Penis with a Pimp Hat
8/14/2006 4:30:00 PM
It's part of a series. Naturally.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e5890#5890 |
This Just In: The 'Show Me, Don't Tell Me' State
8/14/2006 4:00:00 PM
Newly released documents show that an army base in Missouri dismissed sixty soldiers last year alone on the basis of "don't ask, don't tell." Good thing there's not a war on.
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Photo of the Day: Belly Painting
8/14/2006 3:00:00 PM
Someday, a group of adults in China's Hainan province will trace a lifetime of trauma back to this moment.
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Half Bare, Half Bear
8/14/2006 2:00:00 PM
Scenes from artist Carlee Fernandez's Bear Studies. Choice quote from the artist: "You know, sometimes I just look at (my German shepherd)Bart and I wonder, "How many of me would fit inside of him?"
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He's Got 99 Problems, But Iraq Ain't One
8/14/2006 1:00:00 PM
Finally, Bush's beat box skills are brought to light.
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The Sex Life of Silent Bob
8/14/2006 12:45:00 PM
"Going down on chicks was never an option for me; it was the standard. When you grow up fat, you’re never any chick’s first choice for fooling around, and any nookie you get is predicated more on your personality than your looks. Since I didn’t have the aesthetic advantage working for me, I decided that having the oral edge might improve my chances of getting action beyond the mercy-dry hump or third base fumblings. If a girl was gonna do me the courtesy of giving me a shot at the title, so to speak, I was gonna make an impression. So at age thirteen, I bought a gynecological textbook at a physician’s book shop and read that shit cover-to-cover, absorbing all the knowledge I could about the mysteries of the dickless. By age fourteen, I was - as Sam Kinison used to say - a lick-master from the Orient. You’d be surprised how many women will look past a flabby, swingin’ gutt if they know they’re gonna get eaten out with nearly surgical precision." -- from Kevin Smith's blog
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Video of the Day: "Not Gay, Jon. Aristocratic."
8/14/2006 12:01:25 PM
In this clip, Stephen Colbert totally busts up laughing during a Daily Show segment. In his defense, it is hard to keep a straight face while fellating a banana.
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: Preaching in Thigh-Highs
8/14/2006 12:00:00 PM
Beauty Tips for Ministers is a blog dedicated to "the de-frumpification of the American clergy." Some sage advice: "Boots should be solid and not trampy, and for heaven's sake, nothing above the knee unless you're moonlighting in a profession that's even older than ministry." "Jesus of Nazareth suffered and died on the Cross. Am I to complain, then, if my feet pinch in heels, or if my control top panty hose cut into my flesh?"
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The Lost Phone-Sex Career of Meredith Vieira
8/14/2006 11:20:03 AM
"It’s the voice you notice first. A smooth contralto of a voice, with notes of amusement and empathy. A naughty, wholesome contradiction of a voice." — The New York Times Magazine on the new Today Show host
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In the News: A Bad Day to Love the 80s
8/14/2006 10:45:31 AM
The extremely rare and phallic "corpse flower" is blooming at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. If you can’t make it, there’s a webcam.
Bush is reading Camus’s The Stranger. Says a Scanner reader: "At first, I was dubious about this, but then I figured someone must have told Bush the book was about a guy killing an Arab, and he got interested."
It’s a dark day for 80s celebrities: Boy George is picking up trash, Lou Diamond Phillips is in jail, and Screech was mugged.
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Crush of the Week: Zoe Margolis
8/14/2006 9:00:00 AM
Abby Lee is the pseudonym for Zoe Margolis, Londoner and writer of Girlwithaonetrackmind, the blog in which she details her unapologetically active sex life. The popularity of her blog lead, as such things often do these days, to a book contract and Girl With A One Track Mind is climbing the British best seller lists as we speak. When an admiring Guardian reporter tells Margolis she's jealous of her sex life, Margolis is quick to reply, "Well, you should have shagged a few more people." And for that, she is our crush of the week.
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Drive Time Meditation: Masturbation
8/11/2006 5:00:00 PM
According to this Op-Ed on this weekend's Masturbatathon in London, masturbation is way overvalued in today's culture, and discourages people from risking romantic intimacy.In fact, it encourages the estrangement of people from one another. Solo-sex has no risks or consequences for the simple reason that it exists outside a relationship. Betty Dodson celebrates masturbation because it distances people from the powerful emotions involved in a sexual relationship. She is particularly hostile to passionate romantic feelings: ‘We can have those feelings for a very short time, but when reality comes crashing in, the pain and the hurt and the suffering and the breakdown follow.’ From this timid perspective towards human relationships, masturbation is celebrated because it does not disappoint.
Yet experiences that are free of risks and consequences used to be called boring, predictable or banal. Today they are held up as models. Do you agree?
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This Just In: Janis Joplin Smackdown
8/11/2006 4:00:00 PM
Zooey Deschanel has signed on to play Janis Joplin upcoming in the Penelope Spheeris biopic, not to be confused with that other Joplin biopic. We look forward to Zooey and Renee Zellweger’s Janis Joplin cage match.
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Today in Japan: a Female Robot
8/11/2006 2:00:00 PM
We need to increase funding for science in our nation's schools, if only so we too can invent a sexbot tour guide.
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Tabloid Fodder: The Online Edition
8/11/2006 12:40:00 PM
Star
World is ruled by: Feisty women storming out on their men: Christie Brinkley is leaving Peter Cook. Carmen Electra has filed for divorce from Dave Navarro. Angelina checked into a hotel with the kids to get away from Brad.
Read this magazine if you are: Meek and need inspiration to tell some people off. Us
World is ruled by: Body-surfing actors like Tobey Maguire and Leo DiCaprio. They love life!
Read this magazine if you are: Depressed and could stand to emulate pretty party boys. Star
World is ruled by: David Hasselhoff, who has been promising to release a rap album. Ice-T says for $5 million, he'll teach the Hoff to rap like Jay-Z.
Read this magazine if you are: Convinced the world is going to hell. As long as David Hasselhoff and Ice-T are on each other's minds, all is not lost.
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: Just a Theory
8/11/2006 12:00:00 PM
A man who "started babbling incoherently in the hotel lobby, stripped and ran naked along the quayside, broke a stained glass window in the nearby Protestant temple with a stool and set a precious 1898 Bible alight "may" have been on mushrooms. In other news: a thirty-year-old New Yorker who watched America's Got Talent this week may have been drunk.
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Great and Not-So-Great Boyfriends
8/11/2006 11:46:32 AM
We recently reported on the lawsuit involving DontDateHimGirl.com. Apparently, there is also a website called Greatboyfriends.com, on which people recommend their exes to others. We're not sure why, but this strikes us as somewhat smarmy. In any case, the take-home message in the Observer article where that site is mentioned seems to be: If you're a gay man, don't list Golden Girls as your favorite TV show. If you're a straight man don't say that you're "spiritual." And no matter what your gender or sexuality, never, ever list The Fountainhead as your favorite book. — Sarah Sundberg
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In The News: Date-Rape-Drug Detector
8/11/2006 10:40:00 AM
Bob Dylan mentions Alicia Keys in a new song. Slate dissects the racial politics of this.Further news on "Technical Virgin" star Melanie Martinez: turns out that video had a sequel. "In it, an actress playing Ms. Martinez's mother gives her a purple dildo."
A chemistry professor is working on a roofie detector women can carry in their purses. Get that woman a grant. All the rage: improvised dirty muppet shows by the late Jim Henson's son Brian. His take on the difference between American and British fans: "The Americans are more action-oriented. They want to see the puppets beating each other up. British audiences are more intellectual. They like to see it sick and twisted, but in an intellectual way." The McCartneys have hired the lawyers who represented Princes Charles and Princess Diana. "She may aspire to be the Queen of Hearts — but all she will ever be is the Queen of Tarts," said the Sun's showbiz editor of Heather Mills. Blind Date and ElimiDate are done for. CNN says, "The magic is gone."
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Sex Advice From Women's Magazines
8/11/2006 10:30:00 AM
Sirens magazine put various women's magazine articles to the test. Their assessment of Cosmo:
“Sex Goddess Secrets” – Cosmo, April
"Sex goddesses are kind of awesome, and I want to be one. Turns out I had already been practicing a few of these secrets: “Get kinky in the moment” — check; “touch him everywhere” — check; “touch yourself everywhere” — check; “look at him during oral” — check; “wear high heels and sexy lingerie” — double check. But some of the more aggressive “teasing” that sex goddesses apparently do proved, uh, challenging (and/or dumb): initiate foreplay in the morning without finishing the job (this is just mean); tease him by sticking my heels in the back of his thighs (he was so not okay with this); use kitchen utensils as toys (I couldn’t smack his ass with a spatula and then make pancakes the next day – just couldn’t!); make the dirty talk extra dirty (his response: “are you serious?”). There were also a handful of weirdo positions that required dangling limbs and a lot of upper body strength. This sex goddess stuff is exhausting."
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Video of the Day: Iraqi Cellphone Clips
8/11/2006 9:30:00 AM
According to this New York Times video segment, cellphones are being used by Iraqis to make short films poking fun at the violence. In the one pictured, a man threatens to behead a creature, then cuts the head off a fish. Ha ha . . . hrm.
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Drive Time Meditation: Fighting Intellectuals
8/10/2006 5:00:00 PM
Scholars feud over everything from political utopianism to pure jealousy. Have you ever lost a friendship and then had your ex-friend make a "risible and finally unsuccesful attempt" to reduce you by "mocking [your] pretentions and highlighting [your] cold-bloodedness"? Aren't you glad, by the way, you were never friends with Paul Theroux?
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This Just In: The Barkers Divorce
8/10/2006 4:00:00 PM
The Blink-182 drummer and his wife, who filmed the reality show "Meet the Barkers," are splitting. Say it ain't so, Travis.
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New Mountain Goats Video!
8/10/2006 2:29:00 PM
The Mountain Goats have a fantastic, very sad and quiet new album, "Get Lonely," out August 22nd. It's beyond smart and moving about being alone, and totally makes us cry. And today, the new video for a song off the album, "Woke Up New" (directed by the guy who make Brick!) went up on YouTube. If you need more convincing before you rush to preorder the album, read last year's interview with perennial Crush of the Week John Darnielle here. And read the hilarous stuff he later wrote for us here and here. And for those who feel like wasting their afternoon on YouTube as we have, enjoy this orgy of Mountain Goats live footage we just discovered: "The Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton," "Game Shows Touch Our Lives," "No Children," "Jenny," "Cubs in Five and, finally, the delightfully violent video for "This Year." We completely identify with the teenagers who kidnap the band and make them perform in an abandoned house.
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Video of the Day: Girls Wearing Panties
8/10/2006 2:00:00 PM
Gawker provides remarkably unerotic footage of National Underwear Day.
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Beyoncé's Leaked Single
8/10/2006 12:12:50 PM
The new Beyoncé single, "Ring the Alarm," has leaked. She's angry. Discussion point: is this the best radio-ready woman-wronged freakout since Kelis's "Caught Out There?"
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: Rejection-Free Living
8/10/2006 12:00:00 PM
It's now common for schools to forbid kids from giving valentines to talking about birthday parties with members of the class unless everyone gets a card or an invite. And even losing teams get trophies. According to CNN, "No one disagrees that disappointment is real: There are contests we all lose, parties we're excluded from. But what motivates so many parents to postpone that reality until their children reach the age of ten or beyond?"
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In The News: Erica Jong Wants Bill Clinton
8/10/2006 11:00:00 AM
The fiftieth anniversary of Peyton Place approaches. Celebrate by conceiving an illegitimate child or falsifying medical records.Erica Jong comes up with the most pretentious book title of the year: Seducing the Demon: Writing for My Life, but she redeems herself somewhat by using the memoir to fling herself at Bill Clinton. Tommy Chong does an interview with Salon about his prison memoir (of sorts) Meditations from the Joint and expresses sympathy for Martha Stewart.
Slate explains why the President is a quarter inch shorter this year.
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From Our Mailbag: Christmas in August
8/10/2006 10:00:00 AM
The "Naughty, Naughty Christmas Kit" includes a star-shaped bottle of peppermint scented massage oil, furry red handcuffs, a standard-issue Santa hat and a sprig of plastic mistletoe. There's also a "Naughty, Naughty Christmas Book," which offers Christmas-related sex advice such as: "Try some holiday activities in the nude while nobody's watching: decorating the tree, baking goodies while wearing only an apron, or stringing up Christmas lights and decorations inside the house..." To each their own, but we feel that stringing up the Christmas lights in the nude falls into the category of "bad naked." — Sarah Sundberg
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Product Placement: De Sade's Exerciser
8/10/2006 9:00:00 AM
The Ab Lounge: an abdominal exercise machine with clear BDSM implications.
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Drive Time Meditation: Guilty Pleasures
8/9/2006 5:00:00 PM
According to this article, gay anthems have become "uncool classics." Do you agree with their list of the top ten guilty pleasures?1 ELO - Livin' Thing
2 Boston - More Than A Feeling
3 S Club 7 - Don't Stop Movin'
4 10cc - I'm Not In Love
5 Gary Glitter - Rock'n'Roll Part 2
6 Foreigner - Cold As Ice
7 Billy Idol - Rebel Yell
8 Status Quo - Whatever You Want
9 Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street
10 Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive
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This Just In: An Army Museum?
8/9/2006 4:00:00 PM
Thanks to Scanner reader Monique for the reassuring news that some people are on top of the world's problems. Their solutions: reality TV in Iraq and a military theme park in Virginia.
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Paul Lo Duca's "Foul Bawl"
8/9/2006 2:00:00 PM
We're embroiled in an unhealthy relationship with the New York Post these days because of their sterling, despicable coverage of Met catcher Paul Lo Duca's divorce. Monday they ran photos of his hot wife in a bikini; today they interviewed a nineteen year old girl who says she's been having a fling with him. On one hand, we hate that they're putting such a classy, smart player through this. On the other, it's gratifying to know he's hanging out with such sexy ladies, and that he's batting .430 since the divorce proceedings started.
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: The Cutest Cop
8/9/2006 12:00:00 PM
“A woman who called 911 in hopes of another look at "the cutest cop I've seen in God knows how long" won't go to jail for misusing the emergency system, a judge decided.” Sadly, the article is not accompanied by a picture of the cop.
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Two Things To Make You Feel Old
8/9/2006 10:44:00 AM
Frances Bean just did an Elle photo shoot.Fred Savage just had a baby.
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In The News: Gonads Like Kiwis
8/9/2006 10:40:00 AM
Quote of the day: "[My character] has his gonads removed. They say, 'What size would you like?' "And I say 'kiwi size.' Forty years on television and I've never been able to say things like that!" — Larry Hagman is thrilled to be on Nip/Tuck.The manufacturer of the Plan B morning after pill will resubmit its application its FDA application. This might make the pill available over the counter within weeks. But don't let that affect your weekend plans. Actresses with award conspiracy theories about academy members not watching screeners are vindicated, as Ellen Burstyn gets an Emmy nomination for a role in which she spoke two lines, totaling thirty-eight words. The woman who started DontDateHimGirl.com is being sued by some of the men featured on the site. Ooh, caddish and litigious? Now there's a good combo.
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Video of the Day: Borat Trailer
8/9/2006 9:30:00 AM
Tediously exploitative or hysterically funny? Check out the trailer and be the judge.
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Quiz of the Week: Food Porn
8/9/2006 9:00:00 AM
Details's quiz (via Gawker) makes us think we should start watching Everyday Italian.
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Drive Time Meditation: Enthusiastic Bombing
8/8/2006 5:00:00 PM
According to this Economist article, men's and women's brains work differently, but not that differently. For example, in one study, "participants played a video game in which they defended themselves from attackers, and the number of bombs they chose to drop was a measure of aggression. When participants thought they were known to the experimenter and were having their performance assessed, men dropped more bombs than women did. But when those same participants were given the impression that they were anonymous, women became the more enthusiastic bombers." Does that confirm or deny your gender expectations?
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This Just In: Colin Farrell's Prowess
8/8/2006 4:00:00 PM
Angelique Jerome, former Woody Allen nanny, met Colin Farrell on the set of her boss's new movie and had disappointing sex with him.
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For Your Consideration: Fashion Audio, Joke or Art?
8/8/2006 2:00:00 PM
Thanks to Scanner reader Tracy for turning us on to this bizarre site, The Sound of Clothes. Its mission statement: "Continuing our commitment to re-thinking mainstream fashion editorial, we believe fashion audio to be a genuinely new frontier." Our vote: art, because of all the tasteful toplessness.
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Bad Behavior at High Noon: Pink's New Video
8/8/2006 12:00:00 PM
Scanner reader Ana of Spare Room sent along copious evidence that Pink copied the work of New Zealand artist Martin Emond for her video of "U + Ur Hand". Check out the video on the site; a pretty strong case is made.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e5828#5828 |
Technical Virgin Follow-Up
8/8/2006 10:41:30 AM
The kids' show host fired for those "Technical Virgin" PSAs is still without a job, but people with toddlers, senses of humor are fighting back.
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In The News: Furious With God
8/8/2006 10:40:00 AM
 | | Gay Mormon father, gay Mormon husband, big smile! |
Quote of the day: "I was furious with God. I didn't understand why he would require the unthinkable of me. He wanted me to marry a gay man?" — Emily Pearson, who is speaking out on homosexuality in the Church of Latter-Day Saints.Woodstock, Schmoodstock. Were you at Stompin' '76? Phyllis Chesler's Women and Madness has been released in an revised and updated edition. Looks like women who don't act submissive are still thought of as "hysterical." You've come a long way . . . er, um.
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Video of the Day: Britney Revealed
8/8/2006 10:22:33 AM
This home video of Britney Spears shot by Kevin will tell you way more than you ever wanted to know about what goes on in her head. For example, she's quite certain time travel is real.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e5848#5848 |
From Our Inbox: "American Geisha"
8/8/2006 9:00:00 AM
"Dear Ada Calhoun,
"This letter proposes that you consider a book review or an article adapted from my new sex and relationship book, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man.
"In this controversial work, I have taken the traditional Asian Geisha lifestyle and transformed it into my own version of the American Geisha, so that any woman can apply geisha principles to the modern American woman's search for lasting love and marriage.
"Controversial Issues for a book review or an article:
· Isn't your book a bit too racy, almost pornographic in places?
· Don't you feel you’ve revealed a bit too much of your personal sex life?
· Your advice seems too submissive, asking women to be the old version of "a lady in the livingroom and a whore in the bedroom."
· Don't you stereotype Asian women with your emphasis on femininity?
· Are you speaking against feminists? You emphasize femininity in your book and tell the reader that strict feminists will be upset with you.
· You use raw sexual language while emphasizing femininity. It sounds masculine, the way guys talk."
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e5826#5826 |
