Tears of a Clown
2/21/2007 5:15:27 PM
It is a sad day for clowns. And we’re not talking about Ron Jeremy, whom we coincidentally referred to in the previous post as a “clown.” We’re talking rainbow-wig and bulb-nose clowns, two of whom have been shot dead onstage in Colombia. Can you imagine the sheer trauma this will induce in the poor kids who were in the audience? As if clowns aren’t scary enough, try watching one executed in front of you.
Of course, many will take this as an opportunity to bag on clowns. “The fucking clowns are finally getting what they deserve!” was what one tipster emailed us about the story. (Oh, Scannerites. We love you, but sometimes, you need hugs and/or better weed). We don’t hate clowns. That’s right—controversial stance, yes, but we kind of love them. So today, we draw a tear drop on our cheek, and make a balloon animal for our homies who are no longer with us. Honk-honk.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9276#9276 |
Popping a Stiffie for Ron Jeremy
2/21/2007 5:00:00 PM
The Times continues its minor obsession with porn—as mentioned in Scanner earlier—with a glowing review of Ron Jeremy’s new book, The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz. The copy editors at the Old Gray Lady must be having the vapors with these kind of randy ledes:
“Ron Jeremy has a big penis. ‘How big?’ you ask. The answer he likes to give is ‘Two inches ... from the floor!’ So, yes, Ron Jeremy has a new book. We’re sure it’s fan-fucking-tastic, because if there’s anything porn stars are known for, it’s their writing. Oh, why do we hate on Ron Jeremy? Honestly, we don’t mind the guy. He’s a clown--in a really hairy, skeezy way.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9264#9264 |
My Dry Humps
2/21/2007 4:00:00 PM
A Harvard Crimson editorial takes on True Love Revolution, the college’s new pro-abstinence group. A choice bit:
But what about dry-humping?
“We’re concerned with general abstinence,” she said.
So, can I do the dry-humping?
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9263#9263 |
For the Desperate Housewives in Your Life
2/21/2007 3:00:00 PM
If you've been looking for a website that would feature beefy men in gladiator gear scrubbing your bathroom sink, then today is your lucky day. Introducing the Cleaning Hunk. We'd like to see him get it on with the Pants Whisperer. Or, for that matter, Mr. Clean.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9261#9261 |
Video of the Day: Superstar, The Karen Carpenter Story
2/21/2007 2:00:00 PM
Oooh, creepy time. This dark, bizarre Todd Haynes (Velvet Goldmine, Far From Heaven) cultural indictment is one of the great cult classics of the '80s--the Karen Carpenter anorexia tragedy acted out with Barbie dolls. And it's finally available online. Yes, it's 43 minutes long, but back in my day, hipsters used to sell their Star Wars trading cards for this shit. (Link via TheMorningNews.)
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9254#9254 |
This Just In: And She's Out!
2/21/2007 1:57:13 PM
So Britney Spears has checked herself out of rehab again. Want a promise? From us to you? No more Britney-Spears-in-rehab updates. Pinky swear. From now on, the rehab goings-on of Mizz Brit will just be like a fart in the room we pretend not to smell. Or maybe we’ll report it. We’re nuts like that. In the meantime, here’s a question for the ages: How do we make Britney Spears go away? An interview
with (personal friend alert!) Dan Heath, coauthor of Made to Stick.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9267#9267 |
Come on and Take a Free Ride
2/21/2007 1:00:00 PM
If you live in New York City, then congratulations, it’s a lovely day outside. Also, you need to pick up some of them free New York subway line condoms. Warning: The G-train condoms can delay gratification for hours, and the L condoms have been known to break on weekends. Woot-woo. But here is where to get you some.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9252#9252 |
Wanna Bet on It?
2/21/2007 12:00:00 PM
We’re not really the gambling type here at Scanner. We tend to walk into a casino, hand our free chips to the nearest homeless person, and go straight to the bar. Our lifestyle is enough of a gamble, thanks. But plenty people thrill to the roll of the dice. That’s why we wanted to let you know about Celebrity Betting at Bodog Sportsbook. Current bets include: Will Britney Spears stay in rehab longer than 10 days? (Over: -130. Under: -110) And will Prison Break’s Wentworth Miller come out of the closet this year? (Yes: +300. No: -500.) Why not? Their pain can be your gain. (Link via Radar.)
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9257#9257 |
Former "Lost" Star More Compelling Than Actual "Lost" Series
2/21/2007 11:00:00 AM
Michelle Rodriguez sure has gotten interesting these days. The bisexual lovely—previously known as “that girl from Lost”, now known as “that girl from Lost who got a DUI”—not only wore a police-monitored ankle bracelet to fashion week, but she's also been ranting about her arrest on her blog, as quoted in today’s “Page Six”. But the item that piqued our interest was a bit in last week’s New York, wherein Rodriguez bragged of her mandatory community service: “You’re going to see me do some Jane Fonda-type shit. I’m keeping it hush right now. But it’s going to be fucking hot. I’m going to make giving back sexy and fuckable.”
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9253#9253 |
Hard Candy Christmas
2/21/2007 10:00:00 AM
Color us cynics, but we're a little concerned about the tin-rattling sounds of an Altoids vibrator, not to mention the residue of those curiosly strong mints. Still, who are we to tell you what to do with your empties? For instructions, go here.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9248#9248 |
In the News: Hooking Up
2/21/2007 8:55:55 AM
Is there a sex crisis on college campuses? Meghan O’Rourke takes on “Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both.”
The stealthy influence of gay political donors.
As U.S. troops surge, Tony Blair prepares a troop withdrawal in Iraq.
Could it be true? Reports say the new rhythm method works as well as the pill.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9247#9247 |
WWYR?: And the Winner Is...Salma!
2/20/2007 5:00:00 PM
Today, two sirens met on the battlefield, and woof, what a glorious clash it was. Though we have a clear victor -- 34 votes to 20 -- it was a heated match. These Spanish-speaking lovelies are just about two of the lushest women around. But not even Penelope Cruz's pillow lips and her voluminous cleavage's starring role in Volver could wash the Tom Cruise stink off her. Anyway, it would be hard for any woman to compete with this body. So WWYR, round 4, has come to close. The winner? It's not a city in Alabama, we'll tell you that much. Note the spelling, kids, and let's say it together now: SALMA Hayek.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9238#9238 |
You Won't Find This at Applebee's
2/20/2007 4:00:00 PM
Japanese geeks are totally loving their fetish restaurants. Behold the latest entrant into the fray, Shomuni:
"This is the only restaurant where you find servers that give raw strip teases to dining customers," says Yamazaki, the manager of the restaurant. Notice he said “RAW striptease,” which we assume involves sushi. Oh, and customers get “binoculars” and “hand mirrors,” because apparently dining at a striptease fetish cafe is much like reading the OED.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9237#9237 |
This Just In: Britney Enters Rehab, Hopefully for More Than One Day
2/20/2007 3:11:55 PM
Having now shaven off all possible body hair, Britney Spears gets down to the tough business of loving herself. Or, whatever, staying off the Jager. We wish you well, kid.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9236#9236 |
Video of the Day: Kerry and Elizabeth
2/20/2007 2:51:35 PM
We've been enjoying the "Boys and Girls" original series over at Nerve Video and thought it was time to bring the fun Scanner-side. Here, Kerry and Elizabeth talk about anal sex, Kama Sutra on the laptop, and the ever-elusive threesome.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9235#9235 |
Nice, But You Wouldn't Want to Put Out a Cigarette in These Things
2/20/2007 1:00:00 PM
Gosh, maybe it's us, but something about these heels just says "fetish." More bizzaro shoes here.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9223#9223 |
Don't Axe Why
2/20/2007 12:00:00 PM
Not content with the hideous product they’ve already brought into the world, Axe brings you another. Actually, in a choice between our man using this upskirt Axe mouse pad and actually wearing Axe? Click away. (via Feministing.)
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9221#9221 |
A Banner Day for Scrotums
2/20/2007 11:00:00 AM
Today’s news is just awash in scrotums. Yesterday we mentioned the hubbub over the Newbery Medal-winning The Higher Power of Lucky, which uses the word on page one. Today we catch wind that—and this is the actual headline—“Youth Literature Is Filled With Scrotums.” From All Creatures Great and Small to Your Puppy, Your Dog (hot title!), scrotum is so been there, done that. Oh, and then there’s this gallery of scrotal art, which is weirdly compelling and also somewhat horrifying because, hello, they’re giant scrotums.
To top it off, we’ll have you know that yesterday we sat in front of the laptop for a good, oh, three minutes trying to come up with names for scrotum other than “nut sack” or “ball sack” and all we could think of was Balzac. What is wrong with us?
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9228#9228 |
Who Would You Rather?: Cruz v. Hayek, Latin Lover Edition
2/20/2007 10:00:00 AM
It’s “Show Us Your Tits” day here at Scanner, and we can’t think of a better way to celebrate than by letting you choose between two luscious ladies with some of the best racks around. We hear their acting is pretty good, too. So, kids, you know the drill. One vote, and only one victor. Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek: Who would you rather?
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9219#9219 |
In the News: Mardi Gras Madness
2/20/2007 9:03:01 AM
How New Orleans became “The Big Uneasy”: “Where once there was a musician or stomp band every few yards, there are at most a handful in the whole neighborhood.”
Anglican Church to U.S. Episcopalian branch: Stop blessing same-sex unions or else.
The “miracle baby”—born after 22 weeks!—heads home from hospital.
The cultural rise of interjections. Meh.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9218#9218 |
Crush of the Week: Robert Downey Jr.
2/19/2007 5:01:00 PM
Truth is, we’ve always loved Robert Downey Jr. When we were kids, we loved him. When he was pissing in his pants and screaming into the night with blood gurgling in his throat, we loved him. (We may have just described a scene in Less Than Zero, but it’s hard to remember the difference.) Wherever he went, we loved him, even if it was the pen, even if it was staggering into some poor Malibu family’s bedroom. But here is the good news: He’s back. Well, he’s been back in the movies a while—mostly muted stuff like Good Night, and Good Luck and A Scanner Darkly, but his presence is building, like in David Fincher’s Zodiac and then as a bonafide superhero role in Jon Favreau’s Iron Man. And mostly what’s back is his big, chainsmoking personality in all its charming, free-associative glory. An out-of-context quote from this week’s Esquire cover story on Downey (not online yet, but read it in print if you get the chance):
“I always think about, maybe it’ll make my dick seem bigger if they have little hands and they’re wrappin’ ‘em around, but I might also feel like I’m gettin’ a hand job from a fuckin’ mouse, which, worse things could happen, but I’d rather get a hand job from a squid than a mouse. Which is the essence of what I’m trying to say today.”
See? Downey is back. That’s the essence of what WE’RE trying to say today. And for that, he is our Crush of the Week.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9214#9214 |
Today's Lesson in Porn: Use Headphones
2/19/2007 4:00:00 PM
A Wisconsin paper reports:
"Police made contact with the neighbor, a 39-year-old man, who told them he heard a woman screaming from upstairs and feared she was being sexually assaulted.
The subject said he grabbed the 39-inch sword, went upstairs and kicked in the door to investigate. He repeatedly asked his neighbor 'Where is she?' and made him open a closet, and searched the apartment looking for a woman in distress.
The victim told his neighbor, and later showed police the evidence, that the noise came from a pornographic movie he was watching."
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9212#9212 |
Best Screen Kisses of All Time
2/19/2007 3:00:00 PM
Oh, we love lists. Here’s one: Ten Best Screen Kisses of All Time. At number one? Brokeback Mountain. Sorry, Heath and Jake, but your kiss was nothing next to Scanner’s personal favorite, Y Tu Mama Tambien. Mmmm, we could watch that every day. But then we’d end up staring into space… Gael… naked…WHOA, we just slipped into a Gael Garcia Bernal coma. What what were we talking about? And why are we holding this pillow so funny?
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9213#9213 |
Photo of the Day: Don't Tassle the Hoff
2/19/2007 2:00:00 PM
We’re not sure where this photo came from. (Well, actually it came from Best Week Ever’s blog). What we mean is: We don’t know what’s happening, except we assume it was either this or shave his head. But while we savor the mystery—mmm, is that a sprig of irony or a dash of gay we taste?—-here’s a Highlights-era question for you: How many Hoffs are in this picture?
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9211#9211 |
Haven't They Ever Read Judy Blume?
2/19/2007 12:53:42 PM
Parents are in an tizzy over the children’s book The Higher Power of Lucky--or, specifically, a few sentences that appear on the first page.:
“Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much. It sounded medical and secret, but also important.” True enough. It also sounds like a word that will cause a stink if The Higher Power of Lucky happens to win a Newbery Medal, which it did. Scrotum, scrotum, scrotum. Hadn’t heard that word in a while. Guess we haven’t been reading enough children’s books.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9210#9210 |
Tastes Like Buffalo Wings
2/19/2007 12:00:00 PM
Hooters introduces their very own energy drink. We assume it will served in jugs. On a sidenote, the drink will be marketed through Nascar, making this the third--THIRD!--Nascar-related item on Scanner today (we're counting the pig photo, and you can't stop us). That's right, friends. It's Prez Day, and Scanner is getting all Ricky Bobby on your ass!
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9207#9207 |
Get Your Motor Running
2/19/2007 11:00:00 AM
Nascar and Harlequin romance novels are getting in bed together for a series of speed demon-themed romance novels. The mind reels with possibility--those jumpsuits unzippered, the smell of Pennzoil, and a few dozen more product placements. Whoops. Did something just jump up in your undercarriage?
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9205#9205 |
Danny Radcliffe, the Total Package
2/19/2007 10:00:00 AM
Daniel Radcliffe, aka Harry Potter, pulls out his magic wang—er, wand!—and wows the West End audience, winning a standing ovation for his nude performance in Equus. Meanwhile, in this Daily Mail report, he also divulges a wish regarding the last installment of the JK Rowling series. "I sort of hope I'll die in it,” he says. We just sort of hope he turns 18 soon.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9203#9203 |
In the News: Wake Up and Smell the Bacon
2/19/2007 8:47:12 AM
Welcome to the year of the pig! Bad news? It’ll probably suck.
New Jersey now a little bit cooler, as civil unions for gays become available today.
British women to be paid for donating their eggs to science.
John McCain angles for Republican support: "I do not support Roe versus Wade. It should be overturned.”
Tom Brady is not shooting blanks. Ask his ex, Bridget Moynahan.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9202#9202 |
And Then This Happened.
2/19/2007 8:00:00 AM
On Sunday morning, I woke up from the strangest dream. In this dream, Britney Spears shaved her head. Straight-out GI Jane, plowed a razor down the center of her head. Turns out, this wasn’t a dream. It was a news report I saw while drifting off to sleep. Britney Spears shaved her head. This happened. It is either the coolest, punkest thing she’s ever done or a desperate howl of instability, the last in a heartbreaking plunge that could only end in a puddle of vomit and/or a hit reality show. What do you think? Help this make sense. We need each other more than ever now.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9199#9199 |
Nothing Says Laid Like DS Lite
2/16/2007 4:00:00 PM
Today’s dubious sex survey is brought to you by British video game rental service Gametart, who claims that female gamers have sex more often than their nongaming counterparts. That makes you think. Actually it just makes us skeptical. But the story's accompanying photo does make us wonder what is happening to this poor caged siren in a brass headboard prison. Will her lover not give her a Wii? Maybe she's the Gametart. (Thanks to Jeff for sending the link!)
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9182#9182 |
Naked New York
2/16/2007 3:00:00 PM
Photographer Jordan Matter’s “Uncovered” series features women topless all around New York. Zoinks, not in this weather.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9178#9178 |
Video of the Day: "What What (In the Butt)"
2/16/2007 2:00:00 PM
Watching this video, it's hard not to ponder man's timeless question: "WTF is this?" Well, here is what we can tell you. It's by Samwell, whose MySpace page says, "I was born in the South. My songs might contain suggestive lyrics, but I am always a Southern gentlemen." Aww, he always holds the back door open.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9177#9177 |
Brody to the Max
2/16/2007 12:56:39 PM
In what can only be a sign that Southern California doesn't have nearly enough reality stars, Brody Jenner is single. Never heard of him? You must not be 12. Honestly, we don't know who he is either, except he's the guy that keeps dating people on MTV shows. But don't say we didn't warn you that "Us Weekly" is holding a contest to win a date with him. In related news, Scanner will be auctioning off our toe fungus at 2pm.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9176#9176 |
Bad Behavior at High Noon: Vampire's Kiss
2/16/2007 12:00:00 PM
From the you-thought-YOUR-Valentine's-Day-sucked files: "An Arizona woman is under arrest, accused of tying up her lover on Valentine's Day in order to drink his blood." Police have rounded up the usual suspects:
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9168#9168 |
How to Seduce Ralph Fiennes
2/16/2007 11:00:00 AM
Should you find yourself rocketing through the sky at 35,000 feet with a distinguished, Oscar-nominated actor, a few tips on separating him from his trousers, at least according to disgraced (?) Qantas airline stewardess Lisa Robertson.
1. Let him use the jumper seat.
2. Impulsively lead him into the bathroom.
3. Condom? Eh, screw it. Later, the pair enjoyed an encore performance at a Mumbai hotel. Shockingly, he never called her again.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9166#9166 |
Skin Whiteners, They're Not Just for Michael Jackson Anymore
2/16/2007 10:00:00 AM
Fair and Lovely is the Indian skin-whitening treatment that has incited debate among academics and a little bile on ye olde interweb. You can watch the commerical here. The product is manufactured by Unilever, owners of Dove, which had such sweeping success with its Campaign for Real Beauty. Let’s say this is message is a bit different.
UPDATE: A Scanner friend points out that the creams are also potentionally carcinogenic and disfiguring, and the FDA is considering a partial ban on them, all of which would really put the damper on the woman in this commercial bleaching herself, falling in love with a white dude, and taking over Bollywood. UPDATE: And now we tie all the strands of this crazy together. This is high-level synthesis, friends. Scanner reader Daniel sends us the much-loved video for the Bollywood “Thriller”.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9158#9158 |
The Penile Codes
2/16/2007 9:20:33 AM
11th Circuit Court of Appeals says: No fundamental right to sex toys. Obviously, they have not tried the Rabbit. (Thanks to Paul for the link.)
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9167#9167 |
In the News: Blowing Smoke
2/16/2007 8:48:49 AM
Ladies, this smoke’s for you: Introducing Camel No. 9 for women. Whoda thunk? Pink packaging.
Lineup for Al Gore’s Live Earth concerts announced. Yes, Bon Jovi will be there for you.
South Korean woman beats karaoke world record by singing 1000 songs in 60 hours. But how many of those songs were "Don't Stop Believin'"?
CJR’s Aching Prose Awards for low points in Valentine’s Day journalism.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9165#9165 |
Two Scoops of Ice-Cold Cultural Satire
2/15/2007 5:00:00 PM
Stephen Colbert, you may have lost to Jon Stewart in Scanner's "Who Would You Rather?" game, but now you're getting your just desserts.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9156#9156 |
Rock, Paper, Scissorhands
2/15/2007 4:00:00 PM
So there we were this afternoon reading America’s most trusted news source—aka TMZ.com--filling up on late-breaking trash about how Anna Nicole had pitched a husband-seeking reality show and took methadone while eight months preggers when … Gasp! We see this picture. For weeks we have been vaguely asking ourselves, “Who does John Mayer look like?” Couldn’t figure it out. Thank you TMZ. That’s news we can USE. UPDATE: Wow! Apologies for originally posting the wrong picture. What confusion! We actually do not think John Mayer looks like John Amaechi, despite the photo that was up here earlier. However, while we're on the subject, Scanner friend Chelsea emailed to add that John Mayer looks like Marc Anthony, too.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9155#9155 |
How Green Is Your Pleasure Garden?
2/15/2007 3:00:00 PM
Treehugger offers tips on environmentally friendly sex. Aside from just doing it in the grass.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9151#9151 |
Video of the Day: The Half-Hour News Hour
2/15/2007 2:00:00 PM
Fox's answer to The Daily Show, Joel Surnow's The Half-Hour News Hour, sure isn't funny. Don't tell that to the laugh track.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9149#9149 |
Vladimir Putin: Hot or Not?
2/15/2007 1:00:00 PM
In the pantheon of world leaders, this we know to be true: Tony Blair is hot. GW is not. Nelson Mandela is hot. Hugo Chavez is not. But wherein lies Vladimir Putin? He’s certainly the hottest Russian president yet. But isn’t that a bit like being the world’s tallest midget? Two reasons we bring up this issue. No, three. 1) Putin’s in the news today for criticizing the U.S. 2) A recent Metafilter post included a “Glue Yourself a Putin” kit. 3) Our response to all world news and quirky paper products is to ask the question, “Hot or Not?” So we leave it to you. Putin’s fate is in your hands.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9147#9147 |
Trend Pieces Are the Rage, but Are They Healthy?
2/15/2007 12:00:00 PM
On Tuesday, the Boston Globe ran a piping-hot slice of stoopid
entitled: “For young adults, hooking up is all the rage, but is it healthy?” A shhhnippet:
“The most benign fallout from being unhooked is that young women delay dating and marriage. ‘The problem with that is they pick up a lot of bad habits that makes it hard to sustain a long-term commitment, like not being able to trust or share or know how to disagree and make up,’ Stepp says. More seriously, being unhooked can lead to depression, alcohol abuse, anorexia, and emotional disturbance.” Dude, we are so unhooked. The article goes on to talk about oxycontin, and breast-feeding, and ends with a public service announcement cautioning your kids about the dangers of sex. Shazam! We’d write an annoyed response, but thankfully, the Boston’s Weekly Dig has already done so. We liked the title so much we stole it from them. What can we say? We are unhooked.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9143#9143 |
More Reasons to Babble: Ryan the Manny
2/15/2007 11:30:00 AM
Meet Ryan, the hippest babysitter in America. He loves kids. He’s gay. And the parents of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, can't get enough of him.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/scannerblog.aspx?id=96e9140#9140 |
John Amaechi, Nothing but Love for You. Tim Hardaway, Shut It.
2/15/2007 10:41:11 AM
Somehow, we’ve passed these two weeks without ever mentioning John Amaechi, former NBA star who recently came out
and whose book, Man in the Middle, is the first memoir in the history of sports we might actually consider reading. How did we manage such a gaffe? Too busy cuing up old Olivia-Newton John songs, we guess. Thing is, painful as it must be to come out as any celebrity, there is nothing braver than coming out as a celebrity athlete. Coming out as the president of the United States? Laura would stand by you. Hell, that would probably explain a few things. So John Amaechi, we got nothing but love for you. Those who say he should have done it sooner are those who have never stood in those size 14s. Anyway, we were reminded of all this today upon hearing ex-NBA star Tim Hardaway spewing a noxious line of bullshit that sounds scripted by Alabama racist Bull Connor, circa 1962:
"First of all I wouldn't want [a gay player] on my team. Second of all, if he was on my team I would really distance myself from him because I don't think that's right and I don't think he should be in the locker room when we're in the locker room… I'm homophobic. It shouldn't be in the world, in the United States, I don't like it." So what were we saying? Gay athlete=a little tough. Maybe a tiny little bit less so thanks to Mr. Amaechi. (Special thanks to Christopher.)
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Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Borrring.
2/15/2007 9:52:42 AM
Remember when the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue introduced us to the hard bodies and oiled, glistening breastages of Tyra Banks, Kathy Ireland, Heidi Klum? Even if you hated such a crude interplay of sports and sex, of sand and crotch, you had to admit that it felt significant. Well, this year’s edition went on sale yesterday. And it looks like a copy of Blender. Cover girl, 2007: Be-yawn-ce.
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In the News: Flightmare
2/15/2007 8:57:09 AM
Bad Valentine’s Day? At least you weren’t stuck on a grounded plane for 10 hours.
If you were stuck on a grounded plane for 10 hours: Is sex on a plane legal?
The perils of being taken seriously as a satirist: Al Franken declares he is running for Senate--no, really. Meanwhile, Giuliani declares presidential bid.
Heyyyy, who put this salmonella in my peanut butter?
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Track 17: "Xanadu," Olivia-Newton John
2/15/2007 12:00:00 AM
Well, we made it. It’s been a decent Valentine's, no? We shared some music, some memories. Two lucky bastards won a Zune. Don’t ever say we never gave you anything. Unless we really didn’t give you anything, in which case, we prefer you just lie. But we’ve come to the end of the line. Last track: couples skate. “A place where nobody dared to go / The love that we came to know.” That’s right, friends, we’re looking at YOU when ONJ sings that line. Happy Valentine’s Day, you sonsabitches. Treat yourself nice, wouldya?
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