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It was the closest match yet--24 to 17. Yes, we know you want a Bale-Norton double team. Now that’s a Manwich meal. But around these here parts, there can be only one winner. And frankly, we didn’t think the nice kid from Boston could pull it off. Shows what we know. When it comes to prestidigitation—and many other things!--Edward Norton is your magic man.

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Soon, Secrets of a Hollywood Super Madam will hit bookshelves—or toilet tanks, whatever—cracking open the little black book of supermadam Jody “Babydol” Gibson. The biggest surprise? No Charlie Sheen! However, according to a story in the L.A. Times:

“A review of the court file shows that Gibson listed actor Bruce Willis; former Dodgers Manager Tom Lasorda; Steve Jones, the Sex Pistols guitarist and KDLE-FM (103.1) radio jock; and the late film producer Don Simpson, among others.

The book is available for download here , and you can buy individual chapters for $2.99 and a big PayPal headache. But judging from the excerpts, it looks like “Babydol” could use a few lessons in erotica (and spelling!) from a certain assistant principal sex poet we know.


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Residents in the Wallingford area of Washington are hot under the collar--nay, they are barking mad--over a chichi pet store called High Maintenance Bitch and are now hounding authorities to take down the sign. Guess they just don't like their doggy style. Can't handle all these puns in one blurb? Rrrrruufff.

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Here's a little insider tip for you. If you have a crush on a celebrity, and you don't happen to be a stewardess on Qantas airlines, one good way to get to know him is to handcuff yourself to him. Because that is NOT CRAZY AT ALL. Well-played, psycho French girl. Well-played.

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Mancrush.com claims to rank “every man in history” according to his presumable mancrushiness. At the top? Scanner WWYR victor and personal favorite Jon Stewart, who is barely holding on as Jim Halpert, aka John Krasinski of The Office, nudges his way to the top, surely offering sly asides to the camera as he does so. At number 13? Nathan Fillion of Firefly. Nope, never heard of him either. Not enough people voting on Mancrush, apparently. Fix that, would you?

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Plushophilia, aquaphilia, coprophilia--cartoonist Dustin Glick takes on the wide world of turn-ons in this comic.

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We can’t wait for 7, the bodice-ripping “inventive memoir” about Mickey Mantle which recently found a found a new publisher (following the fall from grace of Judith Regan). Witness this steamy slice, as quoted in a recent article in New York magazine, about sex with Marilyn Monroe:

“Mickey enters her, going in nice and easy. He waits for the yelling and the screaming, waits for her to tell him how good it was, waits for an ooh or an aah, any reaction at all, but no … While he works away at it, Marilyn just lies there staring at him with cold, accusing eyes.”

That's right: Author Peter Golenbock, giving self-published sex poets everywhere a run for their money. (via Gawker)


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Perhaps you have heard the news that today’s youth is narcissistic. Perhaps you heard it, but you’re 16, and so at the time you were just looking in the mirror and not listening. Well, let’s hope you weren’t taking pictures of yourself naked, because if so, you could be prosecuted for child pornography. To boot:

“Two Florida adolescents--16-year-old Amber and 17-year-old Jeremy--took digital photos of themselves nude and engaged in some sort of sexual contact. They then sent the photos from a computer at Amber's house to Jeremy's email address. Somehow, the Tallahassee police got possession of the photos, and both Amber and Jeremy were arrested and charged with producing, directing or promoting a photograph featuring the sexual conduct of a child. Jeremy was also charged with possession of child pornography.”

The arrest happened more than two years ago, but it still sounds like a creepy science-fiction book to us.


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"What makes a good nude scene? It was so much easier to figure that out back when we were twelve and the shock of seeing any naked body in a movie went a long, long way. But after a while, it got a bit more complicated."

Find out who made the cut here.

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A Scanner reader recently wrote in with a dilemma. There she was in the video store flipping between renting The Prestige and The Illusionist, two recently released DVDs about magicians, when a question occurred to her. It is a question that has plagued man and kitty cat since, well, at least four weeks ago. The question is this: Who Would You Rather?

On one hand, we have an American actor who is one of the greats of his generation—strong of character, smart, incredibly cool. And have you seen American History X? On the other hand, we have an English accent and a flawless body. And to be fair, he’s a principled man and gifted actor, even if his abs can cut glass. But this isn’t a muscle competition. It’s a sexual muscle competition. So you know the drill.

Norton v. Bale: Who Would You Rather?

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In the past two days--weeks, years, can't remember--we've made it clear how we feel about Helen Mirren. She guides us like the north star (that is, if we knew how to find the north star, which we don't). And today Dame Helen is telling is it is going to be a good day. Because you just KNOW great things are possible when the headlines include a report that Helen Mirren went commando at the Oscars. Swoon.

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Environmental pollutants turn a he frog into a she frog. Soon, frogs to join the cast of All My Children.

Al Gore under fire for using too much electricity in his Nashville mansion. Ladies, he can’t help it, he’s just HOTTTT.

New York Times food critic Frank Bruni goes to the Penthouse Executive Club [nudge-nudge] … for the steaks.

Deadliest Pakistani kite festival since the last Pakistani kite festival: “Two died after their throats were cut by kite strings made of wire, used to damage rival kites. Five died after being hit by celebratory gunshots, and two people were electrocuted trying to untangle kites from overhead power cables. Two others fell from roofs.”


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Have you been following the NYT Babble burble? Oh, but you must! On Sunday, columnist David Brooks (pictured, left) broadsided Nerve’s sibling site. Since then, Babble’s Strollerderby bloggers have been weighing in on the issue. And Everything Bad Is Good for You author Stephen Berlin Johnson (pictured, right) has deconstructed the Brooks piece on his blog:

“Brooks' obsession with the surfaces of hipster parenting ends up blinding him to the real trend here, which is central to almost all the examples he cites: young parents choosing to raise their children in the city, not the suburbs. That is a decision with real consequences, not an empty gesture. It has material effects on children and parents -- and the cities they live in.”

Stephen Berlin Johnson you are smart. And foxy.

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We are vedddy interested in the Michigan Lutheran pastor who has started giving sermons about sex and running a series of sex-related commericials on the church’s website:

“Epic Church Pastor Tim Kade, 40, kicked off the first Sunday in Lent with a sermon entitled, ‘The Greatest Sex You’ll Ever Have.’ He plans to focus on sex-- topics such as frustrations couples face in their relationships and how to talk to kids about sex -- every Sunday through April 1 at his Rochester Hills, Mich., church. Some sermon titles include: ‘The Bedroom: Battleground or Playground’ and ‘Porn: What's the Big Deal?’”

As you might imagine, this has ruffled a few feathers. But hey, as the church’s website says: “Sex wasn’t invented in a dark alley behind a pornshop. It’s part of
God’s design. Did you know that the Bible is very open and frank
about sexual matters? In fact, this may shock you but...God wants
you to have GREAT SEX." Oh, sure, twist our arm. (Thanks to Al for the link!)


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We don't want to spoil all the surprises in store for you while watching this honest-to-goodness newscast on emo, but here's a snippet: "Emos--or 'emotional people'--are first noticed by what they wear, but it's what they DO that is dangerous." Kids, step away from the My Chemical Romance and put your black fingernail polish DOWN.

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Planned Parenthood's new ad campaign is a series of clever little puzzles encouraging parents to talk to their kids about sex. So clever, in fact, that it took us an embarrassingly long time to figure them out. What is wrong with us? We were all, "Cup'n romebug?" "Home hoax, y'all?" We only understand these puzzles when they're on the bottle caps of Pearl Light bottles. (via Neatorama).

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There are movies, and then there are legends. Legends starring Patrick Swayze and a mullet as the underbelly's foremost philosopher-bouncer. Oh what a world if he had only self-published a little sex poetry.

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American Idol contestant Antonella Barba has been the subject of much chatter, and it’s not for her vibrato. At least, we don’t think that’s what the kids are calling it these days. Last week, some sexpot photos surfaced, and then this weekend, even more—this time pics of Barba tickling her golden thoat via a nice schlong. But wait—a story today says the second round of blowjob shots isn’t her. Says her best friend, “She’s the least slutty person I know.” (Obviously!) Antonella, if you’re reading—and we’re pretty sure you ARE—we think there’s only one way to resolve this matter. Next song choice? The Divinyls’ “I Touch Myself.”

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Ripped from the headlines of the New Zealand Herald: "Australia rocked by 'lesbian' koala revelation." Curious now?

“Female koalas indulge in lesbian ‘sex sessions,’ rejecting male suitors and attempting to mate with each other, sometimes up to five at a time, according to researchers.”

If you think that's hot, you should see their MySpace pages.

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Last weekend we bought new earbuds for our iPod, and they totally suck. They fall out of our ears, the cord gets wacky tangled. We hate our earbuds, which is a sad and lonely place to be. So this is to say that we are starting to understand this headphone fetish site. Man, we could use some thick-ass, cushiony ‘phones, the kind that poof when you put them on your head. And if we do get such a beast, we know where to send photos:

“You might wonder why such a strange fetish has a huge website devoted to it, well the answer is simple--it has lots of really devoted fans, who scour the internet day and night to find awesome pictures for the site. There are many more popular fetishes, the websites of which don't add up to the content of this one site for this fetish. So don't knock it until you've tried it, or something.”

Headphone fetish? Nice. Somebody put on the White Album and fire up the bong.

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Sexually suggestive advertising before and after the Brazil v. Argentina soccer match. Don’t get it? It’s explained for you here.

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Yesterday, we brought you news of the assistant principal on paid leave after sharing his self-published sex poetry with his students. We also told you of our personal ache to read this poetry, with dizzying titles like “The Nasty Man in Me” and “I Like Big Women.” We offered you a challenge to come up with your own poems, and you did not disappoint . (And yes, if you email us, we’ll give you a prize. And yes, Nerve editors, we will stop making this promise, stat.) Friends, don’t look now, but there are a few sex poets kicking around out there in Scannerland, just begging for the self-publishing industry. Give us a shout. We can hook you up with a couple websites.

Of course, all this increases the dramatic potential of the assistant principal sex poet, and we now need to cast him in the Lifetime movie, whose title–if there is any justice in the world—will include a pun on “The Nasty Man in Me.” So here’s where you come in. Help us cast his role. Who has the silky baritone, the audacity (of hope!), the sweet, sweet flow to play the assistant principal sex poet?

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Texas D.A. declines to prosecute the Chippendale Eight , a group of male dancers arrested after “gyrating and thrusting pelvises in a manner meant to cause ‘sexual gratification,’ according to police.

107 year-old man suggest the secret to his longevity , and you’re not going to like it: "Maybe it has to do with the fact that I have lived a sex-less life for many years -- since I was 30.”

Director James Cameron claims he found Jesus’ coffin . Biblical scholars sooo not buying it .

Do men have a biological clock? Growing evidence that, for males, having children at an older age leads to more abnormalities.

Mom coaches kids to retardation to score Social Security benefits. The good news? Kids nominated for next year’s Oscars.


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Apparently some people are sick of Helen Mirren . We think this is crazy talk. Total insanity. Helen Mirren is a screen goddess, and we don’t use that term lightly. Or, frankly, ever. Helen Mirren is so cool she makes our teeth hurt. We suspect you agree. And she isn’t just a MILF--she’s a GILF. That’s impressive.

As it turns out, she is also an actress who likes to disrobe. Evidence: Caligula, and much of Dame Mirren’s early career. Speaking of, we’re trying to track down a copy of the 1980 movie she starred in, Hussy. Obviously, there’s a prize in this.

But did you hear us? She starred in a movie called Hussy (!). And she played the Queen (!). And for that, she is our Crush of the Week.

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Here's a surefire party hit: The 100 Worst Porn Titles of All Time

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So where to begin? Another teacher, this time an assistant principal, put on “paid leave” for showing his self-published book of poetry to some kids. (Self-published! So you know it’s really good. Title? Words from a Poet. One word: Awesome.) Problem with the principal’s inner Shakespeare was that (much like Shakespeare), he had a bit of a kink. So we have poems with titles like "I Like Big Women," "The Nasty Man In Me," "Dream Lover," and "Is It a Crime?" We so badly want to read this thing, we can’t even tell you. No, it’s not on Amazon. Yes, we will give you a prize if you find it. In fact, we will give you a prize if you just make up a poem for one of these titles. We're easy. (Thanks to Colette for the link.)

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We have a problem with the Beer Launcher, created by students at Duke University. Our problem is not with its design. No, the design is crack. We’re a little worried about the fizz favor, but hey, if we don’t actually stand up to get our beer, then the spillage can just share space with the pizza stains on the futon.

No, our problem with the beer launcher is its name. Beer launcher? Come now, kids, you need to work a little harder for that $100K education. For this grand dame of design, we need an epic name. Behold: The Booze-a-pult.

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A Hyundai ad featuring a toddler driving a car has been yanked over copycat concerns. If this were really a threat, then why not eliminate ads with babies crying? Prize to whoever can find the ad first.

UPDATE: And we have the perilous driving baby commercial TOO HOT FOR TELEVISION. Thanks to Scanner reader Tommy, who wins a prize we haven't thought of yet. Now if you'll excuse us, our two-year-old nephew needs to drive us to the store.

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This is one of our favorite long songs ever. For those unfamiliar, please go rent The Jerk right now. Like, before you finish this .... Okay, back? Good. Like we were saying, we love this song. How we missed it in that 17-song mix CD we made for you is a riddle to make the Sphinx weep. Sappy? Sure. But we're suckers for any ballad with Steve Martin and a ukelele.

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We're a week or so late on this news, but still. How do you explain this one to you mom?:

"A Kenyan secondary school has sent home 20 boys because they were not circumcised, saying it feared they would be bullied by other students."

Hmm. Apparently in Kenya, schoolyard bullying has become a lot more creative. We're totally gonna talk about this with HIV prevention guru Dr. De Cock. (Thanks to Mariko.)

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Someone in Maryland needs more busy work or something. The Washington Post reports:

“As the General Assembly debates global warming and the death penalty, Myers (R-Washington) has something else on his mind: the outsized plastic testicles that truckers dangle from the trailer hitches of their pickups. To some truckers, they are manly expressions of rural chic. But Myers, who says his Western Maryland district is brimming with giant fakes on the roadways, calls them vulgar and immoral -- and filed legislation this week to outlaw them.”

Gosh, Rep. Myers, don’t you have some babies to hug or something? But before we leave this story, let’s linger on the fact that, when referring to plastic balls swinging from trailer hitch, the Washington Post went with, “They are manly expressions of rural chic.” So thaat’s what the kids are calling it these days. We can think of a few other manly expressions of rural chic, but we’ll save it for the truck stop. (via Feministing)


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Uh-oh. That scratchy throat may not be from the cold, it may be from the karaoke HEAT.

“Japanese doctors report a surge in the condition known as “karaoke polyp”, a growth on the vocal cords caused by excessive warbling in bars and parlours.”

Apparently, Japan knows their Bonnie Tyler. (As an aside? This is totally the best album cover ever. Oh, and as another aside? Thanks to Tommy for sending the link.)


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Jessica Biel? Hated it. Cameron Diazzzzzzzz? Sorry, we fell asleep. But hey, enough about what we thought. We turn the mike over to our noble Scannerites when we ask: whose hooters wore it best?

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We just totally love this man. Back off, PETA. He’s ours.

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Your mom's book club just got a lot more interesting: Pole-dancing parties sweep middle America.

Martin Scorsese, making up for that year Dances With Wolves won over Goodfellas.

Pope speaks out on genetic engineering, gay civil unions.

Indiana sorority kicks out every interesting member it has: “Virtually everyone who didn’t fit a certain sorority member archetype was told to leave.”


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Nice work, Scannerites. Not only have we cast all major roles in the Anna Nicole Smith trial, but we may have found a way to get Arrested Development back on the air. High fives all around! Now, we agree that Robert Duvall, Gary Sinise, Christopher Walken and Al Pacino would bring serious ooomph to this role, but we just HAD to acknowledge that wacky-judge-whose-last-name-we-can't-spell-yet totally looks like Jeffrey Tambor. And we also took one poster's advice and cast the other major roles with Scott Baio and Henry Winkler. What can we say? All in a day's work.

See you Monday, friends. Now go kick the shit outta that weekend.

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Sunday Styles, have we got a hot new trend for you: Pregnant teens! A story in the Evening Standard reports that some adolescent Brits think it’s “fashionable” to be preggers. (Having taught freshman in high school, we might suggest this is not a new trend, but who are we to contradict the anecdotal testimony of a pregnant girl in London?) Says one interview subject:

"When my friends see my bump they say they wish they could have a baby, then three weeks later they're pregnant and don't know what to do.”

Okay, but is it also "fashionable" to wear orange makeup and blue eyeshadow? We think there's some misunderstandings going down across the pond.

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Oh, why not? Here's another video, this time from the good times kids at Fark TV. We close in on the fantasy world of the Christian adult movie awards. "Did someone pray for a meat lover's?"


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This is bad. We cannot remember if we have written about The Gender Genie before. We don’t think so, but if we HAVE, please don’t mention it.

Anyway: We find the Gender Genie interesting, mostly because it’s so BAD. We submitted two recent articles for analysis, including the story we recently wrote about Sarah Silverman (in which we actually write about being a woman), and it told us we were a maaan, baby. The lovely Gwynne, formerly of Scanner? Same thing. So far, the Gender Genie is 100% wrong today. Try it for yourself. You may discover something new.

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"They are ordinary people. With relatively pointless abilities. They are Zeroes." Save the cheerleader. She'd be great at our next staff party.

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As promised, we bring you three Oscar-nominated actors to identify. Now you must face the challenge that has brought greater men and women to tears: Guess the package!!! Hint: They are not all competing against each other. Second hint: None of them is Abigail Breslin.

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Very careful Scanner readers will remember that we have previously mentioned the director of the World Health Organization’s HIV/AIDS. For one thing, he’s doing great work. Amazing stuff. The whole circumcision thing cutting AIDS risk? Kind of blew our minds. But there is another reason we have mentioned this noble public servant. It’s because his name is Kevin De Cock. (We’ll let that sink in for a moment.) With Dr. De Cock in the news again, we thought it was time to find out more about this real-life Dr. McDreamy. Surprisingly, no MySpace page. However! His WHO profile tells us he’s a Belgian native with “expertise in HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis, liver disease and tropical diseases such as yellow fever and viral hemorrhagic fevers.” Also, he's totally adorable. Look at that smile! Kevin De Cock, you've got us on your staff anyday.


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The truth is we love polls. And we love movies. And we love sex! So basically, that makes the Nerve movie awards for best and worst sex scenes the GREATEST POLL EVER. You know what you need to do.

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Here at Scanner, we're not above cheap jokes. (Or bribes!) So we give a little chuckle when we see headlines that say: "1st Beaver spotted in NYC in 200 years." Because obvvvviously, whoever wrote that story has not been hanging out in the Meatpacking District.

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What is that, you ask? Well, we think it's pretty obvious. Duh: It's the blessed virgin Mary on a stove top oven, and you can BUY IT NOW on Ebay for $30,000. (Shout-out=Tom.)

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Nerve favorite Rev. Jenn Miller on becoming the wacky aunt.

“I have never wanted to make a baby. I've known this since I was a girl. It's not because I fear bringing a child into a world on the brink of environmental disaster, or even because I find the thought of going 9 months without alcohol unbearable. I simply never had the instinct to breed. While other girls fed their Baby Alive dolls, I made tube tops for my Mego Cher doll. When friends settled down and wed men who would make good fathers, I made a point of dating only the psychotic and unemployed.”


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If you live in New York--or just visiting!--we've got a happy ending for you.

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So how about that judge? Damn. The only thing more shocking than the Anna Nicole Smith trial itself was the moment Judge Larry Seidlin cried. That day was yesterday. Did you see it? He cried. And we don’t blame him. It was a reasonable reaction to this sordid mess.

All of this means, of course, that we need to cast Judge Seidlin in our Lifetime movie, currently starring Jaime Pressly. We turn it over to you. Which actor has the guts, the glory, the sheer, unmitigated chutzpah to rock the robe?

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Gardasil, the HPV vaccine, now being sought out by gay men.

Evidence that virtual worlds can heal real-life problems. Such as what to do with that extra 10 hours in your day.

Gone With the Wind being turned into musical starring Hugh Jackman. Know what might help the Civil War scenes? Puppet sex.

Everyone knows the camera add 10 pounds. But why?


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We shit you not, we may not be able to look at the Spears issue anymore. If you are more stalwart than us, there are crazy pictures of her shoving an umbrella into a car window. No idea why. It has gotten too crazy for us. We're like little kids cowering in the corner while our parents fight.

In the meantime, there are these Photoshopped images of her bald head. (via Stereogum). You may ask: Why do we sanction the appropriation of her bald skull and yet still cringe at her actual behavior? Here’s why. Because we are still pulling for her, and we believe in the healing power of laughter. Seriously. Britney, come back to us. (Thank to Evan.)

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Our Scanner friend in Ohio, Jeff, sends word of the current sex scandal concerning University of Cincinnati football players. The sports blog Every Day Should Be Saturday describes the imbroglio as a “totally-not-gay group sex encounter involving current Bearcat football players, recruits, and one brave former female soccer player who played the sexual corollary to Poland in multiple, videotaped acts of sexual European geopolitics.” Word is there’s a videotape floating around the dorms, to which all we can say is: Helloooo, YouTube? It’s not like we’re living in a digital age or anything, Bearcats.

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It’s been a while since Scanner has waded into the murky waters of DontDateHimGirl.com, a site where jilted lovers can sound off on their cheating exes. However, a recent email from Scanner friend Kate touting the wonders of DDHG.com got us back on the site to find out whom we shouldn’t be dating. Doot-duh-doo, let’s take a look-see at Brandon Schuler of Fort Wainwright.

“This guy has used the Army to get out of our wedding a month before we were supposed to be married. He jumps from one woman to another without thinking twice, he's cheated on past girlfriends has been with 50 women and is proud of that.”

Wait a minute. But we just got engaged to an Army guy who always brags about sleeping with 50 women. (Which, until now, seemed so hot!) And he goes by the nickname Rabbit Schuler and brandishes a metal coffee pot and looks exactly like this guy. Crap in a bucket. What should we do?

AUDIENCE: DON'T DATE HIM, GIRL!

Whew, what would we do without you?


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The marriage rate in England and Wales has fallen to its lowest rate in 150 years—which isn’t to say marriage rates were higher back in 1850, it’s to say that’s when record-keeping BEGAN. So what caused this tear in the English social fabric? Could it be that charming, enormously successful, endlessly generous Ricky Gervais? Surely not. Could it be the country’s soaring divorce rate? This woman thinks so. It could also be the decades' long erosion of a presence far more creeping and nefarious. Wait a second. It’ll come to us.

America, watch out.



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From a BBC News report:

“Men in parts of Tanzania's main city, Dar es Salaam, are living in fear of a night-time sex attacker. A BBC correspondent says the attacks are being blamed by some on a demon called "Popo Bawa" meaning winged bat.”

Wait a minute. "Popo Bawa" sounds familiar. Are you sure that’s not Popozao?


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My predecessors here at Scanner have sung the praises of Hard Gay, the inimitable Japanese comedian and wrestling personality. Here, in what we can only imagine would NOT go over well at the Food Network, he tries to teach kids to love their least favorite foods.

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An Iowa City man is suing after losing his right leg in a collision with the a Girls Gone Wild bus:

“The lawsuit alleges that [bus driver] Tyner was negligent by failing to have the bus under control, not maintaining a proper lookout, improper right hand turn and driving while under the influence of marijuana.”

Not maintaining proper lookout? Can’t imagine what he was distracted by.


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Some political groups can be so touchy. Case in point: The New South Wales Liberal Party dumped state candidate Brenton Pavier after “details emerged of a smutty joke text message he sent to friends.” Wanna hear it? It read:

"The video you have ordered about how to have sex with a goat has now arrived.”

Have heart, Brenton. With those kind of frat pranks, you might one day become U.S. President.


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Wow, we just got superexcited about the Oscars. Not sure why. These things just happen. Like, sometimes you need to eat fried chicken or have sex with strangers. Right now we are really feeling the Oscars. And so, we direct our energy toward that noblest of tasks, a game we like to call "Whose Hooters?" Here you see the racks of three women competing against each other in one category. Can you guess which is which? We'll give you a hint: None of them is Abigail Breslin.

UPDATE: And we're done! Thanks for playing, kids. The ladies are, L to R, Jennifer Hudson, Rinko Kinkuchi, and Cate Blachett. Tomorrow, it gets harder: We take on the men.

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He may look like Jeff Foxworthy, but how can you not love the guy who scored Wundercrotchen and, better yet, the brilliantly titled Who Needs Dialogue? Meet Klaus Harmony, the “foremost German composer of erotik film scores in the 1970’s. In collaboration with filmmaker and long time friend, Friedrich Wohlfäht, he expanded and thrust the genre beyond its known limits.” Check out the MP3s on his website. A fair amount of wah-wah pedal, yes, but this shit gets orchestral. Indeed, we’ve been grooving to these sounds all morning. All we need now is a wondercrotch, a few Swedish nurses, and a camera crew. (via BoingBoing)

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Korean men in Vietnam use brokers to find brides: “Do I have to look at them and decide now?”

Prince Harry to to be deployed to Iraq. Does that mean he’s royally screwed?

Blogger Perez Hilton sued over topless Jennifer Aniston photo.

China treats internet addiction with rehab clinics, electric shocks. We assume they’ll make an exception for Scanner.


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