Thursday Wrap: Alba Blasphemes, Topher Grace Really Stretches Himself, and More
6/1/2006 4:00:00 PM
- Jessica Alba will appear in The Ten, a spoof on, um, The Ten Commandments. And we have the trailer right here! ”No doubt…”
- Topher Grace is set to star in Kids in America, a sort of American Graffiti-esque film “following one night in the lives of a group of recent college grads.” Amazingly, this will have nothing to do with the other recent movie called Kids in America.
- Ain’t It Cool News has a super-advance review up of Milos Forman’s Goya’s Ghost, in Natalie Portman gets tortured…again. (More disturbingly, as Jeff Wells points out, some of AICN’s usual cast of maladjusted talkbackers seem a little too aroused by the prospect of a nude Natalie Portman torture scene.)
- In other been-there-done-that news, Michael Moore’s getting sued again, this time by an Iraq vet who claims he was unfairly represented in Fahrenheit 911.
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This Just In
6/1/2006 2:00:00 PM
- Cartoonist Marjane Satrapi is co-directing an animated adaptation of her graphic novel Persepolis. Nerve interviewed Satrapi about her last book, Embroideries.
- Mournful YouTubers have compiled this tribute to the late Paul Gleason’s legendary turn as Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club. Also of note: this re-creation by the formidable Brandon Hardesty.
- One more of these stories and we’ve got a trend. (See also this). Here’s hoping McKellen is next. — Peter Smith
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Perfect Pitch: Salty Comedy Veteran Blows Up Self, Collaborators
6/1/2006 11:45:00 AM
A continuing entry in our ongoing series of movie pitch meeting horror stories. (Read the first one here.) This one comes from a screenwriter in Los Angeles describing his first ever pitch meeting.
“There is an undeniable charge that comes with going into a movie studio for a pitch. You can take a lot of meetings in Hollywood without ever getting a chance to actually sell something right there, in the room. Thus, I greeted my first pitch with the same curiosity and eagerness with which 13-year-old boys wonder what blowjobs feel like. I knew it had to be awesome. But just how awesome?
“It helped that I wouldn’t be going in alone. I was pitching with my friend and occasional writing partner Tim, as well as with the man who’d gotten us this opportunity in the first place. Let’s call him the Salty Comedy Veteran (SCV). The SCV was, at one time, one of the most successful comedians in North America. He’d had his own television shows, cult classic films, hit albums, raucous tours… One of the best things about working with him was his endless supply of stories about old-timey comedians in their debauched heyday, replete with spot-on imitations and rumors about which of ‘em were hung like horses.
“However, that heyday was years ago. Many, many years ago.
“In the interim, the SCV had displayed the self-destructive tendencies that seem to define many people who feel compelled to make others laugh. Poisonous relationships and disastrous financial instincts had left him in bad shape. But he still had fans around town. That, plus his considerable charisma, helped him score a rewrite deal on a studio movie. That’s when Tim and I came into the picture, and the three of us spent a number of weeks adding jokes to the script. When the movie came out, it was a modest hit, which inclined the studio to see what else we might have to offer. They invited us in to pitch.
“I assumed that we would hammer out the details of the pitch and then practice it beforehand. I assumed wrong. While we did manage to come up with two workable ideas, the SCV resisted or sabotaged most attempts to rehearse. It quickly became apparent that his fondness for improv (which, in all fairness, he has a true gift for) had led him to believe that all things are better when semi-conceived on the fly. I think there’s something about the pressure of the moment that gets his juices flowing. Or maybe he’s just lazy. Regardless, he showed little interest in preparation.
“Thus, I probably should have felt a bit more dread as we drove onto the lot. But what did I know? Frankly, I was just excited to be there as an actual seller.
“We settled into a cramped conference room with two studio execs and, after the requisite inane chatter, got down to business. The three of us had agreed that the SCV would introduce the first idea, and then Tim and I would tell the bulk of the story. Then, depending on their reaction to the pitch, we’d either try to engage them in a dialogue about it or move on to idea #2.
“At first, all went well. The SCV was smooth and charming as he introduced the idea. It was a family comedy; the SCV made passing references to his own experiences as a father. The execs laughed, perhaps imagining him in a starring role. Then he handed us the reins.
“Now, I should mention that a pitch is typically 15-20 minutes long, during which time you lay out the bare bones of your story in a manner that is hopefully both compelling and efficient. Tim and I got off to a solid enough start, describing our main characters and the incident that sends them on their journey. I can’t say the execs looked thrilled --but they weren’t taking calls, either. Certainly, as we got to minute 8 or so, everyone in the room would’ve agreed that nothing was so terribly wrong that we needed to scuttle the whole thing.
“Everyone, that is, except the SCV. During a pause in our narrative, he piped up with a little advice. ‘Guys? You’re starting to ramble. Why don’t you wrap it up?’
“Tim and I stared at each other for a beat, dumbfounded. Ramble? Wrap it up? Was he fucking kidding? For their part, the execs looked astonished as well. It’s one thing to have creative differences with your partners. It’s another to walk into a room with them, pull out a grenade, rip out the pin, and just stand there.
“Skipping basically the latter half of the film, Tim and I did our best to explain how it all wound up. When we finished, the execs nodded politely, still confused by what the hell had just happened. ‘Interesting. Um… What else are you guys working on?’ The SCV put up a subtle hand, letting us know he’d be taking the lead on this one.
“In his defense, the SCV did manage to come up with some funny bits on the spot. Plus, one of the execs was a longtime fan, and showered even his asides with hearty laughter. However, none of that was enough to overcome the fact that the SCV knew very little of the story he was pitching, which was supposed to take place in a mountain chalet and feature a snowboarding grandma. (Don’t ask.) And while the SCV had mentioned both the setting and the character early in his delivery, he apparently forgot all about that by the end, when one of the execs asked him which mountains we thought would form the backdrop of our tale. Without hesitating, the SCV replied, ‘We were thinking Santa Barbara.’
“Minutes later, I walked out of the studio, my only profit this absurd but true story.”
Got a good pitch story to tell us? Send it to screengrab@nerve.com.
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Morning Deal Report: Sarah Jessica Beds Her In-Laws, Rutger Hauer Gets Replaced, and More
6/1/2006 10:00:00 AM
- Sarah Jessica Parker will be appearing in A Family Affair, playing “a real estate agent who has a one-night stand with a distinguished older man. After becoming engaged to someone else and heading off to meet her fiance's family, she discovers her future father-in-law was her bedmate.” Wasn’t this once actually an episode of Sex and the City?
- They’re remaking the Rutger Hauer thriller The Hitcher and it will now star Sean Bean. As a fan of this film, I am outraged. The Hitcher without Rutger Hauer? What next? Highlander without Christopher Lambe…Oh, wait.
- The Village Voice wraps up Cannes.
- Rwanda’s President Paul Kagame disses Hotel Rwanda. With friends like these, etc.
- There have been a number of good online tributes to the Japanese master Shohei Imamura over the last couple of days. My favorite, though, is Matt Prigge’s excellent write-up.
- Some local screening news worth reporting: A shout-out to New York’s fiercely independent Pioneer Theater, which is screening two electrifying documentaries from Belarus this week: Long Knives Night and Reporting from a Rabbit Hutch, by director Victor Dashuk. The films are actually being screened off video, as they had to be smuggled out of the country. The Times writes them up, briefly, here.
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Wednesday Wrap: Creepy-looking Kids Edition
5/31/2006 6:30:00 PM
-John Moore, who directed the new remake of The Omen, compares the original’s script to Shakespeare in this piece from the Reporter.
- Avi Arad has left his post as head of Marvel’s film studio to start his own company, Avi Arad Productions, which will produce films for Marvel. Their first movie? Bratz. Somehow, I suspect that Bryan Singer will not be directing that one.
- Superman Returns has had its release date moved up by two days, to Wednesday, June 28th. Might be a sign of confidence in the film, might be an attempt to make a bit more money before Pirates of the Caribbean comes around and cleans up. To be honest with you, I was surprised to find out that it wasn’t opening on a Wednesday all along.
- Great article by Leonard Klady on the real moviegoing trends in the US. (Believe it or not, it’s slightly rising. But that doesn’t mean all is going well.)
- Should have noted this sooner. The awesome Green Cine Daily has now indexed its coverage of Cannes reviews from this year’s fest. Absolutely invaluable.
- There are now two movies based on Mozart’s The Magic Flute on the horizon.
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Worst Moviegoing Experiences: Screaming Baby + Scorsese Movie = Trouble
5/31/2006 4:29:12 PM
Introducing another regular feature of ScreenGrab. Bad moviegoing experiences -- we've all had them, and they seem to be increasing of late. When moviegoers are asked why they're starting to avoid going to theaters, it's often the Numer One reason cited. So, in the interest of shedding some light on the issue, as well as getting our kicks, we humbly present to you the first of what we hope will be many, many horror stories.
This one comes courtesy of a journalist in the New York area. If you've got your own horror stories, send them to screengrab@nerve.com. Enjoy...
"The worst movie theater story I can think of came during Gangs of New York, at a mall multiplex in West Nyack, NY. My wife and I sat in the very front row of the theater -- we do this sometimes if we just want to just be as far away from other people as possible at a close-to-sold-out show. It was going pretty well through the commercials and previews. But just as the movie actually started, a couple comes in, with a toddler, and sits a few seats away from us in the front row. (I guess because there's ample room for the baby carriage.) About a half hour in to the movie, the baby starts crying. Mama picks him up, carries him out of the theater. It's terribly distracting, but I can't kick too much. At least mama left with the kid. She comes back with quiet baby. Maybe 20 minutes later, baby starts screaming again. Mama steps outside. Comes back. Quiet baby. (Please keep in mind that I don't blame the baby. Baby's gotta do what baby's gotta do.)
"So you can guess what happens next. Baby starts WAILING. And mama doesn't want to get up again and take baby outside, so she tries to comfort him, with moderate success, from the front row. Another 20 minutes, and baby starts making more noise, and this time mama's barely even trying. My wife, who I *know* has been sitting with gritted teeth for the last 90 minutes because she has much less tolerance for this kind of shit than I do, leans forward and looks to her left, puts a finger to her lips and, softly but firmly, goes "Shhhhhhhhhhh." It was actually kind of sweet.
"At this, Mama and Dada immediately go apeshit. They start yelling at us, shouting at the top of their lungs. Time has dulled my memory of their exact words, but the eventual gist was that my wife and I were "jealous" of them and their beautiful baby because we "can't have [our] own." I was just sinking into my seat like, "Oh, FUCK."
"A few minutes of quiet pass before my wife, again quite calmly, gets out of her seat to fetch an usher. Conveniently, by the time he arrives with her, the baby is again wailing. To his great credit, the usher immediately kicks the family out of the theater. They pack up and leave, muttering to the usher, "If you're gonna give us our money back, I'm FINE with that." My wife settles back into the seat next to mine.
"Five or six minutes pass when, out of the corner of my eye, I see someone duck around the wall of the corridor leading out of the theater. A split-second later and BAM! We're hit with a flying fucking soda. I just get wet all over my face; my wife takes it right on the side of her head.
"I rush out after the motherfucker, wife is right behind me. I get to the lobby in time to see the evildoers heading out into the mall. I try yelling for someone to "STOP THAT FAMILY" but to no avail. (Remember, I'm the one with sodapop dripping out of my hair and pure fury in my eyes – I look like the dangerous one.)
"At this point, I have choices. I can chase the couple into the mall, try to get the local rent-a-cop force to help me subdue them, and then press charges to try and put one of them in jail for the night. But I decided it was probably better for my mental health (and blood pressure) to try and blow the whole thing off. Also, I really wanted to finish Gangs of New York, and I didn't want to waste the opportunity. I did get some solace when I got home and found a DVD screener of the damned thing waiting for me, courtesy Miramax, so I could watch the missing minutes from my own stop-and-start viewing experience.
"Fortunately, some nice multiplexes have opened up on my side of the Hudson River in the last couple years, so I don't go to shopping-mall theaters any more. But that was sort of a harrowing experience, and it came on the heels of a whole bunch of bad experiences that had the eventual result of curbing my own mainstream moviegoing habits rather dramatically. I think back with some nostalgia to the time the old lady at the Lincoln Plaza Cinemas simply fell asleep on my shoulder during The Sweet Hereafter. Those were the days."
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Indie Box Office
5/31/2006 12:30:00 PM
The Top Ten Independent Releases for the weekend of May 26-29:
1. An Inconvenient Truth (Paramount Classics) $367,311 ($91,828 per screen)
2. Fanaa (Yash Raj Films) $878,939 ($15,154 per screen)
3. La Moustache (Cinema Guild) $11,758 ($11,758 per screen)
4. The King (ThinkFilm) $10,622 ($10,622 per screen)
5. Army of Shadows (Rialto) $46,104 ($9,221 per screen)
6. Cavite (Truly Indie) $16,124 ($8,062 per screen)
7. The Lost City (Magnolia Pictures) $277,443 ($5,440 per screen)
8. A Touch of Spice (Menemsha Films) $5,349 ($5,349 per screen)
9. Shem (HP Releasing) $4,892 ($4,892 per screen)
10. Keeping Up With The Steins $708,972 ($4,856 per screen)
NOTES:: Needless to say, great numbers for the Gore doc. Bear in mind the movie is only playing on four screens. To compare, when March of the Penguins opened last year around this same time, it also did tremendous business on four screens…and its per-theater average was $34,373, barely over a third of Truth’s numbers. It remains to be seen whether the Paramount Vantage release will have a Penguins style breakout, and one can reasonably argue that a global warming movie just won’t be able to cross over the way the other film did. Bar graphs are a lot less cuddly than penguins, and don’t expect to see too many kids at this thing. But then again, the immediacy of the issue, as well as terrific word-of-mouth, may well make up for that. Its daily breakdown reveals that it’s holding fairly well, save for a dip on the day after release, which is to be expected, especially for a hotly anticipated title like this, which goes out to 60 more theaters this coming weekend. True, it is still in largely friendly (read: blue state) territory, but the coming weeks will be the true test of whether the film and its great reviews will prevail, or if the right-wing hit squads sent out after it (read: Drudge) will make a dent. Also, I suppose it’s quite telling that in one weekend the Al Gore doc made more than half of what the John Kerry doc, Going Upriver, did in its entire run. And that opened on over 150 screens.
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What Really Happened to the Kids from The Graduate
5/31/2006 11:00:00 AM
So here’s some interesting news. Charles Webb, the author of the original novel The Graduate, upon which the classic Dustin Hoffman-Mike Nichols film is based, has written a sequel, called Home School, excerpts of which were published in England’s The Times newspaper this month. The paper also put Random House in contact with Webb, and a publishing deal has finally been struck for the book.
This might not sound like such a big deal – but here’s some more info about Charles Webb. In the decade following The Graduate’s success, he gave away practically all his money, donating much of it to charity. He and his partner, Fred (her original name was Eve but she changed it to Fred in solidarity with men named Fred), have been living in poverty for several decades now. The young couple in The Graduate was actually based on them, and Mrs. Robinson was based on Eve’s mother, though she never tried to seduce Charles. Though married for many years, they divorced to protest the institution of marriage, especially the fact that it was banned for gays. They also have two grown children. Fred is an artist but a nervous breakdown in 2001 left her in need of Charles’s constant care. The Random House sale means that they don’t get kicked out of their small East Sussex apartment, where they’d been facing eviction.
Another fascinating tidbit: One of the main reasons Webb had difficulty finishing a sequel was that he no longer owned the rights to the characters, and he was worried that if he wrote a sequel, the company that now owns the film, France’s Canal+, would try to make a film of it. (Part of that money will also go off to pay Webb’s French lawyers, who are representing him in his copyright case in Paris.)
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Morning Deal Report: Bellucci to Play, um, Gandhi, Crowe Bails on Another Movie, and More
5/31/2006 9:30:00 AM
- Well, it ain’t exactly Ben Kingsley as The Mahatma, but I guess it’ll do. Monica Bellucci is going to play current-Indian Prime Minister Sonia Gandhi in a new biopic to be filmed by the Indian director Jagmohan Mundhra, who once apparently made a movie called Hack-O-Lantern.
- So Russell Crowe appears to be officially off that Nicole Kidman-costarring Australian period epic that Baz Luhrmann was going to make. And the reports that he’s been replaced by Heath Ledger are also untrue. Why is this news? Because, as Variety reports, this means that once-hot Moulin Rouge director Luhrmann may well be left without a project yet again, after his years-in-preparation Alexander the Great epic fell through in the wake of Oliver Stone’s mega-budget disaster.
- Len Wiseman, the man who practically defied the laws of physics to turn the Underworld movies into a hit franchise, is in talks to direct Die Hard 4. No word on the plot, but the film was once set to be called Die Hard 4.0, which suggests a cross-breed with Rodney Dangerfield’s Back to School.
- The world of legal downloads of high-profile Hollywood films has been stirring of late, after years of empty promises and rhetoric. Yesterday, Disney and CinemaNow announced that the movie site will offer paid downloads of titles such as Eight Below and Annapolis on the same day as their DVD releases. The site will also offer currently available titles such as Chicken Little. The idea is that the prices, currently comparable to DVD purchases, will decrease eventually.
- Mike Myers is going to play a self-help guru named Pitka, in an as yet-untitled movie. I’d say, “So what?”…but I never thought that Austin Powers thing would fly, either.
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Tuesday Wrap: Syriana Sued, Seattle Begins, X-Files 2 Still Alive, and More
5/30/2006 4:00:00 PM
- That Syriana plagiarization case, brought by a French screenwriter who claims Stephen Gaghan took chunks of his story from her script Oversight, was finally heard in a Paris court. I’m not sure about how French justice works, but this seems to be the crucial point: “In October 2004, when Ms Vergniault deposed the copyright for Oversight, ‘the Syriana script was completely written and filming nearly completed,’ said Natasha Levine. ‘In June 2004, the storyboard was ready. In October, the movie was in the eleventh week of filming.’” Whoops.
- Japanese master, Shohei Imamura, director of the classic Vengeance is Mine and himself a two-time winner of Cannes’s top prize, has passed away.
- It doesn’t have the cache of Cannes, but the Seattle Film Festival, one of North America’s biggest and most prestigious fests, has begun. There will be plenty of press coverage, but I prefer to follow it through the ridiculously thorough and prolific musings of film-buff and filmmaker Ken Rudolph. Ken also happens to be a member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences -- so his opinions matter in all sorts of ways.
- The Guardian’s got a pretty great profile of the once-ubiquitous Matthew Modine, who has refashioned himself into a cinematic eco-warrior of sorts, with a new documentary, 1,000 Suns.
- Could it be that X-Files 2 is still a possibility?
- Valerio Zurlini was one of the world’s greatest filmmakers (his Desert of the Tartars is on my all-time Top 10), but nobody talks about him anymore. Maybe this will start to change things.
- Another cut of Blade Runner? You think they’d get it right one of these days.
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