Friday Wrap: Winona and "Sex" (We're So There), Heath Keeps Working, and Saw 3 Gets a Plot
6/2/2006 5:00:00 PM
Heathers writer Daniel Waters and Winona Ryder are reuniting for Sex and Death 101. “The story follows a man (Simon Baker) whose life is upended by a mysterious e-mail containing the 101 names of every woman he has had sex with and, eerily, every woman he will have sex with in the future. He is stopped in his tracks when he meets Ryder, a femme fatale who targets men guilty of sex crimes against women.”
- Virtually moments after being cast as Bob Dylan, Heath Ledger has apparently also agreed to play Rachel Weisz’s lover in Aussie director Philip Noyce’s adaptation of the Tim Winton novel Dirt Music.
- Take two rappers and one director of R. Kelly videos, add a heist story-cum-road movie, and what do you get? Why, “the first post-Hurrican Katrina film with social relevance,” of course. It will be called Cutthroat City, and when it comes out on DVD, everyone will think it’s a wacky sequel to the movie sitting beside it on the shelf.
- Miami Vice gets test-screened, and this dude likes it. Be warned – sample quote: “Jamie Foxx's character was the more sensible out of the two. Colin was the more dangerous one. Like Lethal Weapon but to a lesser extent.” There, we just ruined it for you.
- Well, that’s a lot better than this guy’s review of a rough-cut of All the King’s Men. Ouch. (Hat tip: Dark Horizons.)
- The “official plot” of Saw 3 has been released. (Hat tip: Cinematical.) Thanks, guys, but it’s not exactly The Crying Game we’re talking about here. Let me guess: There will be… blood?
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Take Five: Harry Dean Stanton
6/2/2006 3:00:00 PM
Roman, the creepy old polygamist in HBO’s Big Love, is the character Harry Dean Stanton was born to play. But then, aren’t they all? The guy’s got range. Here we salute five of his finest performances: Alien (1979)
Elevating this space-monster classic over your average space-monster non-classic is the credible cast—not your usual swashbucklers, but a group of disgruntled intergalactic truckers. And who better than Stanton, as doomed mechanic Brett, to convey grimy disgruntlement? The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)
Martin Scorsese’s adaptation of Nikos Kazantzakis’ novel is a mixed bag. Familiar faces in Biblical roles can be dicey, as Harvey Keitel’s Brooklynized Judas makes clear. Stanton beats the odds to turn in an intense performance as Paul; his wide-eyed revelations are completely credible. Pretty in Pink (1986)
Flexing a little, our man gives a relaxed, tender performance as Molly Ringwald’s father. In fact, the character could have been hopelessly oversweet in another actor’s hands. In Stanton’s, Pops Ringwald is one of the few sympathetic adults John Hughes ever created. Repo Man (1984)
Consumer satire, punk sociology, and aliens wrestle for space in this rough cult classic. Bringing a focus and heart to the whole mess is the relationship between Emilio Estevez’s sneering punk and Stanton’s old repossessor. Stanton is somehow weird, threatening, and endearing at once: “Have a nice day… uh, night.” Then, to himself: “Night, day, doesn’t mean shit…” The Cowboy and the Frenchman (1988)
Stanton and David Lynch are a natural match. Stanton stars as the titular cowboy in this short, and would later appear in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me and The Straight Story. Thanks to YouTube, you can enjoy a slice of this rare treat: Stanton warbling “Home on the Range,” in a Johnny Cash-esque baritone, to a distinctly Lynchian crowd. — Peter Smith
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Reviewing the Reviewers
6/2/2006 2:00:00 PM
Wherein we turn the tables once a week and give some of our more notable film critics a taste of their own medicine...
| Critic | Review | Quote | Analysis | This Week's Verdict | | A.O. Scott, New York Times | The Break-Up | "The arguments Brooke and Gary have, whether about household routines or about feelings, sound more like fumbling PowerPoint summaries of conversations than like real human speech." | Whoa. This is, like, exactly what I told an ex-girlfriend some years ago when she was getting on my case. Cree-eepy. | | | Armond White, New York Press | The Break-Up | "To get at exactly what’s wrong with this Vince Vaughn/Jennifer Aniston dating comedy, you have to forget [Al] Gore’s unconscious separation of politics from morality and be willing to recognize how storytelling in movies represents a political position on moral activity.” And: “Maury Povich couldn’t consciously design a movie to better falsify or ignore the complications of partnering and urban survival.” | Strident, tutorial, and full of great what-the-fuck moments (“Have Vaughn and Aniston never seen Mike Leigh’s minor masterwork, Career Girls? Their best hope is that you haven’t.”). Classic Armond. | | | Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly | The Break-Up | “Taking a cue from Will Ferrell and Adam Sandler, Vaughn flaunts a jelly belly and a slob wardrobe; he doesn’t act in the film so much as he hangs out in it.” And: “[Aniston]’s got to alter something – her hair, her gamine sweetness – if she wants to leave that manicured TV vibe behind her and become a movie star.” | Expert deconstructions of star personae galore. This is the Owen we know and love. | | | Michael Wilmington, Chicago Tribune | District B13 | "“[Bibi] Naceri co-wrote this wild script, which is a hodge-podge of ideas and attitudes lifted from Jackie Chan, James Bond, Jet Li, Arnold Schwarzenegger and even Jean-Claude Van Damme movies…" | How can something be a hodge-podge of ideas from so many wildly different movies? I mean, Jackie Chan and Jet Li? That’s crazy talk! | | | Lou Lumenick, New York Post | District B13 | "a nonstop action film that nonsensically conflates Escape From New York and Assault on Precinct 13 as a vehicle for two veteran stuntmen.” | What is it about this movie that leaves critics breathlessly grasping for redundancies? | |
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An Excuse to Post This Picture
6/2/2006 1:00:00 PM
Today, the San Francisco Chronicle celebrates Marilyn Monroe’s 80th birthday by contemplating what direction her life might have taken, had she not been killed by the pills/the Mafia/the Kennedys.
— Gwynne Watkins
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Today in Viral Marketing
6/2/2006 12:30:00 PM
In addition to spraypainting “666” on the sidewalks of Soho, Fox is promoting the new Omen film with an aggressive flash website (www.heedtheomen.com) that tries to convince viewers the end is nigh. Fun features include a quiz to determine your role in the Apocalypse (I’m a ”Prophet”) and a Number of the Beast FAQ (Q: Am I safe from the mark of the beast if my social security number, phone number, or license plate includes 666? A: No. Identifying numbers including 666 are signs that you will give in to the power of the Antichrist. However, all numbers of this sort will eventually lead to the fall of mankind.) Chances of infection: moderate. — Gwynne Watkins
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Morning Deal Report: Funny Baby Names, Bad Tans, and George Clooney Naked (Sort of)
6/2/2006 10:00:00 AM
- Ordinary baby names are no longer welcome in Hollywood, with all these celebrities naming their newborns Suri and Shiloh and Kal-El and whatnot. Parents, take it from a guy named Bilge: They’re gonna loooove you when they hit 4th grade.
- Jane Fonda gets roasted by, among others, Ted Turner. (Money quote: “I gave up three mistresses for her.” Somewhere, Roger Vadim is cackling, “Fool!”)
- Wang Chao, director of the Cannes title Luxury Car, comes back to Beijing with sunburn. That may wind up being a lot less painful than what his fellow countryman Lou Ye, who directed the competition title Summer Palace is going to get.
- Marie Antoinette is big in France. Not just the movie, not just the Queen, but the concept.
- Movies James Israel will never ever see based on the stills. To be fair, I’m pretty sure that still of Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is actually from a Bratz Asia open casting call. (Hat tip: Green Cine Daily.)
- Knowles interviews M. Night. Dude, nice chat, but have you ever heard of, like, editing? (M. Night: “I just thought like, you know, if they didn’t one hundred percent dig the independent spirit of me in my movies up to this point, you know what I mean…” Knowles: “Yeah.”)
- “What’s the only movie to showcase George Clooney’s naked butt?” Not sure what it has to do with The Break-Up (unless we missed something pretty fucking crucial) but check out the answers to this and other stumpers at Movies.com’s Break-Up Quiz.
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Thursday Wrap: Alba Blasphemes, Topher Grace Really Stretches Himself, and More
6/1/2006 4:00:00 PM
- Jessica Alba will appear in The Ten, a spoof on, um, The Ten Commandments. And we have the trailer right here! ”No doubt…”
- Topher Grace is set to star in Kids in America, a sort of American Graffiti-esque film “following one night in the lives of a group of recent college grads.” Amazingly, this will have nothing to do with the other recent movie called Kids in America.
- Ain’t It Cool News has a super-advance review up of Milos Forman’s Goya’s Ghost, in Natalie Portman gets tortured…again. (More disturbingly, as Jeff Wells points out, some of AICN’s usual cast of maladjusted talkbackers seem a little too aroused by the prospect of a nude Natalie Portman torture scene.)
- In other been-there-done-that news, Michael Moore’s getting sued again, this time by an Iraq vet who claims he was unfairly represented in Fahrenheit 911.
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This Just In
6/1/2006 2:00:00 PM
- Cartoonist Marjane Satrapi is co-directing an animated adaptation of her graphic novel Persepolis. Nerve interviewed Satrapi about her last book, Embroideries.
- Mournful YouTubers have compiled this tribute to the late Paul Gleason’s legendary turn as Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club. Also of note: this re-creation by the formidable Brandon Hardesty.
- One more of these stories and we’ve got a trend. (See also this). Here’s hoping McKellen is next. — Peter Smith
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Perfect Pitch: Salty Comedy Veteran Blows Up Self, Collaborators
6/1/2006 11:45:00 AM
A continuing entry in our ongoing series of movie pitch meeting horror stories. (Read the first one here.) This one comes from a screenwriter in Los Angeles describing his first ever pitch meeting.
“There is an undeniable charge that comes with going into a movie studio for a pitch. You can take a lot of meetings in Hollywood without ever getting a chance to actually sell something right there, in the room. Thus, I greeted my first pitch with the same curiosity and eagerness with which 13-year-old boys wonder what blowjobs feel like. I knew it had to be awesome. But just how awesome?
“It helped that I wouldn’t be going in alone. I was pitching with my friend and occasional writing partner Tim, as well as with the man who’d gotten us this opportunity in the first place. Let’s call him the Salty Comedy Veteran (SCV). The SCV was, at one time, one of the most successful comedians in North America. He’d had his own television shows, cult classic films, hit albums, raucous tours… One of the best things about working with him was his endless supply of stories about old-timey comedians in their debauched heyday, replete with spot-on imitations and rumors about which of ‘em were hung like horses.
“However, that heyday was years ago. Many, many years ago.
“In the interim, the SCV had displayed the self-destructive tendencies that seem to define many people who feel compelled to make others laugh. Poisonous relationships and disastrous financial instincts had left him in bad shape. But he still had fans around town. That, plus his considerable charisma, helped him score a rewrite deal on a studio movie. That’s when Tim and I came into the picture, and the three of us spent a number of weeks adding jokes to the script. When the movie came out, it was a modest hit, which inclined the studio to see what else we might have to offer. They invited us in to pitch.
“I assumed that we would hammer out the details of the pitch and then practice it beforehand. I assumed wrong. While we did manage to come up with two workable ideas, the SCV resisted or sabotaged most attempts to rehearse. It quickly became apparent that his fondness for improv (which, in all fairness, he has a true gift for) had led him to believe that all things are better when semi-conceived on the fly. I think there’s something about the pressure of the moment that gets his juices flowing. Or maybe he’s just lazy. Regardless, he showed little interest in preparation.
“Thus, I probably should have felt a bit more dread as we drove onto the lot. But what did I know? Frankly, I was just excited to be there as an actual seller.
“We settled into a cramped conference room with two studio execs and, after the requisite inane chatter, got down to business. The three of us had agreed that the SCV would introduce the first idea, and then Tim and I would tell the bulk of the story. Then, depending on their reaction to the pitch, we’d either try to engage them in a dialogue about it or move on to idea #2.
“At first, all went well. The SCV was smooth and charming as he introduced the idea. It was a family comedy; the SCV made passing references to his own experiences as a father. The execs laughed, perhaps imagining him in a starring role. Then he handed us the reins.
“Now, I should mention that a pitch is typically 15-20 minutes long, during which time you lay out the bare bones of your story in a manner that is hopefully both compelling and efficient. Tim and I got off to a solid enough start, describing our main characters and the incident that sends them on their journey. I can’t say the execs looked thrilled --but they weren’t taking calls, either. Certainly, as we got to minute 8 or so, everyone in the room would’ve agreed that nothing was so terribly wrong that we needed to scuttle the whole thing.
“Everyone, that is, except the SCV. During a pause in our narrative, he piped up with a little advice. ‘Guys? You’re starting to ramble. Why don’t you wrap it up?’
“Tim and I stared at each other for a beat, dumbfounded. Ramble? Wrap it up? Was he fucking kidding? For their part, the execs looked astonished as well. It’s one thing to have creative differences with your partners. It’s another to walk into a room with them, pull out a grenade, rip out the pin, and just stand there.
“Skipping basically the latter half of the film, Tim and I did our best to explain how it all wound up. When we finished, the execs nodded politely, still confused by what the hell had just happened. ‘Interesting. Um… What else are you guys working on?’ The SCV put up a subtle hand, letting us know he’d be taking the lead on this one.
“In his defense, the SCV did manage to come up with some funny bits on the spot. Plus, one of the execs was a longtime fan, and showered even his asides with hearty laughter. However, none of that was enough to overcome the fact that the SCV knew very little of the story he was pitching, which was supposed to take place in a mountain chalet and feature a snowboarding grandma. (Don’t ask.) And while the SCV had mentioned both the setting and the character early in his delivery, he apparently forgot all about that by the end, when one of the execs asked him which mountains we thought would form the backdrop of our tale. Without hesitating, the SCV replied, ‘We were thinking Santa Barbara.’
“Minutes later, I walked out of the studio, my only profit this absurd but true story.”
Got a good pitch story to tell us? Send it to screengrab@nerve.com.
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Morning Deal Report: Sarah Jessica Beds Her In-Laws, Rutger Hauer Gets Replaced, and More
6/1/2006 10:00:00 AM
- Sarah Jessica Parker will be appearing in A Family Affair, playing “a real estate agent who has a one-night stand with a distinguished older man. After becoming engaged to someone else and heading off to meet her fiance's family, she discovers her future father-in-law was her bedmate.” Wasn’t this once actually an episode of Sex and the City?
- They’re remaking the Rutger Hauer thriller The Hitcher and it will now star Sean Bean. As a fan of this film, I am outraged. The Hitcher without Rutger Hauer? What next? Highlander without Christopher Lambe…Oh, wait.
- The Village Voice wraps up Cannes.
- Rwanda’s President Paul Kagame disses Hotel Rwanda. With friends like these, etc.
- There have been a number of good online tributes to the Japanese master Shohei Imamura over the last couple of days. My favorite, though, is Matt Prigge’s excellent write-up.
- Some local screening news worth reporting: A shout-out to New York’s fiercely independent Pioneer Theater, which is screening two electrifying documentaries from Belarus this week: Long Knives Night and Reporting from a Rabbit Hutch, by director Victor Dashuk. The films are actually being screened off video, as they had to be smuggled out of the country. The Times writes them up, briefly, here.
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