Video of the Day 2: Transformers, the Full-Length Trailer
12/20/2006 4:45:00 PM
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am not a fan of Transformers. Never have been, never intend to be, and the prospect of a Michael Bay-directed film version of the robots-that-turn-into-cars-and-planes-and-whatnot franchise has me about as excited as I would be if I found out Joel Schumacher was going to direct Phantom of the Opera 2: Phantom Harder.
That said, Michael Bay movies do always make for great trailers – perhaps because the dude actually was a great commercial director, before he realized he could blow more shit up if he had two-and-a-half hours instead of fifty seconds. So here it is: The full-length trailer for Transformers, the movie. And it is, indeed, quite bad-ass.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/screengrabblog.aspx?id=107e8164#8164 |
Worst Moviegoing Experiences: It Ain’t Over Till the Fat Lady Wakes Up
12/20/2006 3:30:00 PM
This week’s experience comes from screenwriter-online critic and all-around good guy Zach Ralston, whose personal site Private Joker’s Head can be found here. His story is hilarious. I’ll let it speak for itself.
Also, don’t forget to send us your own experiences: screengrab@nerve.com
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I saw MULHOLLAND DRIVE in a packed theater. There were only a few seats in the whole place unoccupied, and one of them was to my left. But just as the lights were going down, this incredibly fat woman waddles into the theater and squeezes into this empty chair. She is so large that her ass flab actually spills onto my seat -- imagine the ones that fold down when you sit on 'em: if I stood up, my seat would not fold back up because her ass was keeping it down. Seriously.
Okay, so I had to scrunch my body all the way on the right side of my chair, annoying the poor friend with whom I was at the movie. Once it started, whale lady passes out asleep within 30 minutes, and start snoring like a lawnmower. (Of course, I sort of envied her, because I had to stay away and watch MULHOLLAND DRIVE). But the snoring was out of control so I had to keep elbowing her in the squishy arm that was draped way over my armrest. Occasionally she would wake up from my nudging but then go back to sleep.
I don't think she saw more than 40 minutes of the film. Then when she was awake, she started complaining about it. To herself. "Oh my god..." "Oh my... Who is that? What is he doing? Who is she? Where did she come from? Oh my god... Oh my god now what is this. This is crazy. This is some crazy movie. Oh my god... Oh my." And then she would fall asleep and snore again.
Finally when it was over, she yawned and forklifted herself out of the chair and said, "Thank God that movie is over." I agreed in so many ways. So, so many ways.
Previous Worst Moviegoing Experiences:
- "I Told You...I Can't Help It!!!"
- Let the Children’s Laughter Remind Us How We Used To Be
- Inside the Ghost Theater
- Children of the Porn
- Everything Is Explicable In The Terms Of The Behavior Of A Small Child
- Greatest. Screaming. Baby. Story. Ever.
- You Can’t Shut An Actor Up. You Just Can’t.
- Piiiraaates!
- Meet Joe Black, Meet My Limp Noodle
- BewareA Man Bearing Flowers
- When They Called it “Vomit-Inducing,” They Weren’t Kidding.
-Misadventures of a Right Wing Film Geek
-A Good Reason for an International Incident
- Meet the Times Square Crowd. Plus, Sly’s Biggest Fan
- Miami %$*&#!
- ”Like Some Sort of Small Machine
- Hollow Man, No Pants
- Life Imitates Art?
- Men at Work
- Confessions of a Movie Theater Employee
- Introducing Mrs. Inconsiderate Cell Phone Lady
- A Hollywood History Lesson Gets Out of Control
- Mousy Academic Type Takes Matters Into Own Hands, Falls On Face
- Befuddled Tot Likes Windu, Suspicious of Amidala
- ”She Rode a Horse…”
- Screaming Baby + Scorsese Movie = Trouble
Got a terrible, terrifying, or hilarious moviegoing experience to share? Send it to us at screengrab@nerve.com
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/screengrabblog.aspx?id=107e8163#8163 |
More Idiocracy Idiocracy. Plus, An Idiocracy Index.
12/20/2006 2:00:00 PM
One would have thought – or maybe just hoped – that the outrages concerning Twentieth Century Fox’s mishandling of Mike Judge’s Idiocracy would come to an end with the film’s upcoming January DVD release. (I can report, btw, that I’ve finally seen the film, and it’s good – look for a DVD review on the Nerve Film Lounge the week of release.) But no. It turns out that, for some reason, Fox is still eager to suppress the film.
Check out this link. (It leads to a PDF file; read the “Cinema Talk” column on the left side.) John Ewing at the Cleveland Cinematheque has apparently been trying to book the film for months. In October they even got to host the film’s legally mandated trade screening, only to be informed the day of the screening that the film had been pulled from release. And now, even after the film comes out on video, they are not allowing theaters to book a print of the film.
As a friend speculated, “It's either the theatrical division that trying to keep the film down. Or there's something that's been changed for the video release and they don't want the theatrical cut in circulation.” Admittedly, it might also be as simple as them not wanting anything getting in the way of their DVD profits for the film – most of which the studio gets to keep for itself.
None of this surprises me, of course. The downright criminal handling of Idiocracy will one day have to be documented in greater detail, maybe after Mike Judge finally has his say about it. (That might have to be after King of the Hill stops airing on Fox.) But for now, it’d be silly to expect the studio to do anything decent regarding this film. I’ll be curious to see if the DVD even comes out on the stated release day. Don’t hold your breath.
A HANDY GUIDE TO OUR IDIOCRACY COVERAGE:
Another friend suggested that I provide some kind of archive to ScreenGrab’s Idiocracy coverage (in case any of you are feeling extra-suicidal, I suppose). So, at the risk of excess back-pattery, here it is. This probably isn’t thorough; I’m sure I missed a mention here and there. It might have been nice along the way to do some kind of thorough, all-encompassing journalistic roundup. One day, I may do such a thing. Then again, one day I may also run the New York City Marathon.
- August 25, 2006: Stuff To Get Upset About
- August 29, 2006: Dumpage
- September 1, 2006: One nerd speaks (link to an AICN review)
- September 4, 2006: More Idiocracy News (Or Lack Thereof)
- September 5, 2006: Idiocracy: No, I Will Not Stop. (An account of me shamelessly browbeating journalists in LA and Toronto to go see the film and report back on it.)
- September 6, 2006: Idiocracy: An Insider Speaks
- September 8, 2006: The Last Time I’ll Mention Idiocracy (Until Monday, At Least) (Link to Rightwing Film Geek Victor Morton’s review of the film)
- September 20, 2006: Things that make you go, “Jesus” (A report on Fox’s starting up a new faith-based distribution arm, in which I take another swipe at what they’ve done with Idiocracy)
- October 23, 2006: Idiocracy: The Update (A link to a Cinematical article discussing the film’s cult status in Austin, featuring speculation from the director of the Alamo Drafthouse on what might have happened with the film’s release)
- November 15, 2006: One of the stars of Idiocracy speaks out
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Video of the Day 1: The Real Chris Gardner Talks About Trying To Get A Cab
12/20/2006 1:12:17 PM
Big ups to Ray Pride for finding this. In 2000, videographer Len Davis filmed a short video interview with “a businessman in a cab talking about…how hard it is for a black man to get a cab in America.” The man was Chris Gardner – the same character played by Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness. It’s great stuff – Gardner is a charming, funny guy, with a good dose of (well-deserved) anger.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/screengrabblog.aspx?id=107e8160#8160 |
Awards Season: We Can Talk All We Want
12/20/2006 12:05:00 PM
There have been lots of critics’ awards announced over the past week or two. Many of them have come from fairly small organizations, but in the 24-hour Oscar entertainment news cycle, there’s no such thing as an inconsequential award. Most recently the Chicago Film Critics
announced their nominations, with Babel scoring nine total, and The Departed and The Queen following with six each. As critics’ orgs go, Chicago is actually a pretty influential one, and not just because Ebert’s there.
Babel’s been surging of late, while the early awards announcements made United 93 something of a contender. Personally, both of those films feel to me like movies that will end up with Best Director noms and not Best Picture ones – with Dreamgirls and The Queen probably their Picture counterparts.
That’s right. I said Dreamgirls will probably not get a Best Director nomination. (Actually, I feel more queasy about predicting the same fate for The Queen.) I am increasingly confident that it’s not going to be the juggernaut everyone thinks it will be. I realize that the Academy is dominated by craftspeople and performers, and that craftspeople and performers seriously love themselves some big musicals. (I still remember the SAG screening of Chicago I went to years ago, where half the movie was inaudible from the cheering and whooping and hollering of the actors in the audience living vicariously through the Singing! and the Dancing! onscreen.) But I dunno; Dreamgirls is feeling weak to me, and it doesn’t have the surprise factor of Chicago, where the fact that someone had finally made another decent big-screen musical was half the fun.
I’d say that The Departed was looking more and more like a favorite – and I might still say that – but so far it hasn’t won Best Picture from a truly major organization. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything; it’s not like it’s going to be overlooked by the Academy. We know Scorsese’s a shoo-in for a Best Director nom (and probably the award itself). But the real news right now appears to be that there isn’t really an overall favorite; it may well be another one of those years where Best Picture and Best Director go to separate films. But I think The Departed is even stronger than we think.
But I am, as I’ve said before, a truly poor Oscar prognosticator. So maybe the best thing to do is to point you towards Movie City News’ increasingly invaluable Awards Scoreboard, over here, where you can mull the results yourself. Observe: The Queen leads the list, largely thanks to Helen Mirren’s unbelievable winning streak. And Forrest Whitaker has singlehandedly made The Last King of Scotland the third most awarded film of the year. And all-but-certain awards no-show The Blood Diamond is ahead of genuine contender Little Miss Sunshine by a hair. Will any of this matter come February-March? Probably not.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/screengrabblog.aspx?id=107e8154#8154 |
Who Lost China? Well, Apparently Nobody.
12/20/2006 11:00:00 AM
Zhang Yimou’s Curse of the Golden Flower is a huge hit in China; its four-day take of 12.3m in four days was the highest ever for a domestic movie. But now other distributors are complaining, claiming that “all other films were blocked from being shown in 200 digital cinemas in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou,” and that cinemas have made promises to show only Curse, leading other companies to worry about their films’ upcoming release dates.
Nonsense, says Curse’s distributor. "If the digital cinemas choose to screen only Golden Flower, it is the choice of the market," says the promotion director of the company behind Curse. See, people? It’s just the ways of the free market. Get with it. What are you, communists?
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/screengrabblog.aspx?id=107e8152#8152 |
Morning Deal Report: D’Works Blankets DGA With D’Girls, H'Wood Preps Early For 07 Strike
12/20/2006 10:00:00 AM
- DreamWorks has made news by sending DVD screeners of Dreamgirls to all 13,400 members of the Directors Guild of America (DGA). The big deal? It turns out that no studio ever sends screeners to the DGA, because of a mistaken impression that the DGA does not accept screeners. Turns out that the DGA does accept screeners, and has had the same policy for years. That sound you just heard was Harvey Weinstein’s head exploding.
- Got a script you’ve been working on that you were thinking of selling to a studio one of these days? Well, get cracking, cause a strike might be on the way: ”Even as the winter holidays loom, Hollywood's facing 2007 with an unmistakably grim directive: Start stockpiling. The town's coming down with a fresh, infectious case of strike-itus…Dealing with a possible work stoppage that would start Nov. 1 is becoming a normal part of doing business.”
- The Sundance Film Festival has set its 13th Annual Native Forum, which will include four feature films, two shorts, and a host of “artist panels, workshops and networking events.”
- Cary Elwes has joined the cast of director-producer Andrew Shortell's thriller Psych 9, which “revolves around an unstable woman who takes a job organizing patient records at a recently closed hospital. Working alone at night, she experiences a series of disturbing events that may be connected to a string of gruesome murders.” Not sure who Elwes will play. Presumably not the unstable woman, though you never know.
- The Three Amigos – directors Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Guillermo del Toro, and Alfonso Cuaron, all of whom have released awards contenders this year – have apparently been considering directing a film together, possibly “a story of a kidnapping seen from three different points of view,” with each of the directors taking a different character’s point of view.
- An insider reveals that plans are afoot for a third Tomb Raider movie. The world asks: Why?
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Brave AICN Critic Recounts Fate At the Hands of The Boll-inator
12/19/2006 4:00:00 PM
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”As many of you know, a few months ago I boxed director Uwe Boll for a ball-testing round and a half. At approximately 5 foot 9 and 170 lbs, showing a little post-college belly, with asthmatic, smoke-stained lungs, and sporting a good ol’ fashioned wife-beater with “Hi Mom” written on the back, I think you could consider me the underdog, so to speak. In the opposing corner, Dr Uwe Boll, proud owner of degrees in German Literature and Shitshow Filmmaking, was more than likely the proverbial favorite. If I had money on the match, even I would’ve bet on the German beating the Jew, and feeling little guilt about it afterwards, even if the fight happened to fall on the night of Yom Kippur…
“I arrive and am immediately scolded for not having a cup. I didn’t know I needed a cup. Boxers wear cups? How are we supposed to know these things? Lowtax has a cup because he has a wife who cares about his testes, and Boll suggests since Lowtax is fighting first, we all share his cup after he’s done peeing himself in it, crouched in the corner of the ring for two-thirds of a round. I pass…
“By the end of the first round I couldn’t feel my own legs. I could hardly breathe. The guy who was supposed to be my corner man, no joke, got so drunk before the match he passed out and had to be taken home by his 60 year-old father.”
-Ain’t It Cool News regular Jeff Mira (“MiraJeff”) recounts his harrowing, Hostel-like trip to the lair of Dr. Uwe Boll to get his ass kicked in a critic-vs.-“filmmaker” bout. (Also, he reveals he took a dive.)
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"Executives don't like the unwashed streaming through their sanctum sanctorum."
12/19/2006 2:45:00 PM
"If someone looks like he hasn't either bathed or been outdoors in weeks, he's probably a blogger. Yes, even humble bloggers are invited to leave their attics and basements during Shmooze Season."
- Variety's Peter Bart, Hollywood's favorite cranky old uncle, gets with the times in this insanely catty column about what he calls "Shmooze Season," and how it's a time when the stars and studios become everyone's best friend, and how presumably awful that is.
Once you've read that, then check out David Poland's hilarious, though way-too-insidery-by-half response here.
I smell a rumble comin' on... Oh, no, wait, that's just my week-old blogger-socks.
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/screengrabblog.aspx?id=107e8137#8137 |
Video of the Day: Hanna-Barbera Logos
12/19/2006 1:30:00 PM
In honor of Joseph Barbera, who passed away Monday at the ripe old age of 95, we bring you one enterprising YouTuber's compilation of famous retro TV logos, among them many of the best-known Hanna-Barbera ones.
(Jesus, is anyone else surprised at just how absurdly nostalgic and wistful this thing makes them?)
Permalink : http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/screengrabblog.aspx?id=107e8135#8135 |
