Arnold Schwarzenegger is calling his memoir Total Recall

Because there's really no other choice, Arnold Schwarzenegger will be titling his forthcoming memoir Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story. Also because there's no other choice (come on, he's done a lot of embarrassing stuff), the book reportedly will "not be a tell-all." How boring. If I had to guess, this means that he'll gloss over all the juicy parts about illegitimate children, sexual harassment, and drug use, and skip straight to the part about good old-fashioned stick-to-it-iveness and how it got him where he is today. 

Even without the promise of sex and drugs, Simon & Schuster, who are publishing the book, call it "one of the most anticipated autobiographies of this generation," and the company's publisher said, “truly, Arnold is one of the most fascinating figures of our time, and one of the greatest success stories in the world. Nobody has a life story even close to his."

Well that last part is definitely true, so let's hope he actually includes a good amount of the details. I'm at least expecting an insider's view of the time he managed to go undercover inside the body of a large, unwieldy woman. Heady stuff.