Bob Dylan loses Nobel Prize to some Swedish poet

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Bob Dylan

Bob Dylan just can't catch a break. First he gets accused of plagiarism, and now he loses the Nobel Prize for literature to a random Swede with a crazy name.

Poet Tomas Tranströmer (doesn't it sound like a Swedish battle robot?) claimed the prize. In a press release, Nobel Prize Permanent Secretary Peter Englund praised Tranströmer for his "condensed, translucent images," which give readers "fresh access to reality." (As opposed to, say, stale access to reality, which we all know is the purview of the British.)

Dylan may have been the favorite to win, but he was at a disadvantage from the start. The award has never gone to a songwriter, and Europeans have claimed eight of the past eleven prizes. In fact, the last American to win was Toni Morrison. Eighteen years ago.

Englund had dismissed "crazy speculation" that Dylan was favored to win, saying, "They have to have someone at the bottom of the list, which gives 150 times the money or something, so obviously they have to let in someone who is completely unlikely, some literary UFO." Despite Englund's skepticism, betting agency Ladbrokes had Dylan at five to one right before the announcement, marking a drastic climb from his previous odds of 100 to one.

In other news, Nobel Prize betting pools apparently exist. Sorry to everyone who had money on Haruki Murakami.