Bret Easton Ellis says 2012 Patrick Bateman would “find victims via Blendr while listening to Beyonce”

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Patrick Bateman

You know how it goes. You're sitting at your desk at work, bored of crunching numbers or editing documents or whatever it is you do, and your mind starts to wander. First you wonder what you'll have for dinner. Then you wonder if it was Bill Pullman or Bill Paxton who appeared in A League of Their Own. And then, inevitably, you think, "Man. I wonder what Patrick Bateman would be up to nowadays. Who would he kill? How would he feel about our president? And most importantly, what modern-day music would he use to score his murders?" Luckily, Bret Easton Ellis is well aware of this concern, and took to Twitter recently to give us a few updates on our favorite psychopath. Turns out, Bateman's a big fan of Rihanna.

Ellis' 40+ tweets about where Bateman would be now cover a lot of pop culture, and start to seem pretty arbitrary after a while. But he did offer some eerily believable speculation on Bateman's habits and tastes. To wit:

"Patrick would complain about spotify and the cloud and tumbler [sic]… but he would find victims via Blendr while listening to Beyonce and O.A.R."

Ellis also theorized that Bateman's ideal threesome would be Chris Brown and Rihanna (ick) before revising it to Rihanna and "that girl from Sleigh Bells." Other things Patrick Bateman would dig? OneRepublic, Katy Perry, the Kardashians, Mumford and Sons, Hostel 2, Celebrity Apprentice, and The Help. Things he wouldn't be into? Obama and Dexter ("because they stole his name").

Ellis speculated about a few kills in his late-night stream-of-conscious as well. The hands-down best one involved another apparent Bateman obsession, Coldplay:

"Scene where Chris Martin and Patrick Bateman eat waffles and talk about how cool St. Vincent is… and then Patrick slits his throat."

If Ellis' Twitter feed is to be believed, this may turn into a legitimate sequel, so brace yourself for one twisted dude in a suit bopping around to "S&M."