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Read: Hunter S. Thompson's rejection letter to a prospective writer
By Alex HeiglAugust 17th, 2011, 10:30 amComments (34)
Rejection letters are an ugly part of the writing profession, but sometimes, in the right hands, they can be works of art.
Enter Hunter S. Thompson, who, despite being an incalculable influence on a generation of writers, was never content to play the straightforward elder statesman, guiding and offering advice. (My particular favorite Hunter story involves him shooting holes through copies of his books brought to him by aspiring writers for autographs, pausing occasionally to utter a primal scream.) So when Mike Patterson submitted a piece to Rolling Stone in 1971, it's doubtful he was expecting this response.
Thompson's letter, in its entirety:
"You worthless, acid-sucking piece of illiterate shit! Don't ever send this kind of brain-damaged swill in here again. If I had the time, I'd come out there and drive a fucking wooden stake into your forehead. Why don't you get a job, germ? Maybe delivering advertising handouts door to door, or taking tickets for a wax museum. You drab South Bend cocksuckers are all the same; like those dope-addled dingbats at the Rolling Stone office. I'd like to kill those bastards for sending me your piece... and I'd just as soon kill you, too. Jam this morbid drivel up your ass where your readership will better appreciate it."
The letter is signed "Yail Bloor III, Minister of Bell-Lettre," which doesn't have quite the same ring to it as "Raoul Duke," but it'll do. Also, it's post scripted "Keep up the good work. Have a nice day," proving that Thompson actually had a kind heart and intended for the writer to know all his abuse was in good fun, or was possibly now taking his abuse to psychological levels (both of which are almost certainly true).
Commentarium (34 Comments)
Hunter Thompson disparaging the writing of others? Oh, that's rich. This man is perhaps single-handedly responsible for every journalism student wanting to write out drivel and publish it without even knowing how to write a proper lead.
Seriously. That letter sounds like a teenager who is trying too hard; hardly the inimitable prose I'd like to imitate.
Srsly. That comment sounds like a teenager who is trying too hard; hardly the imitatable prose I'd intimate.
Are you trying to say that Hunter should be held accountable for those countless people who tried (and failed) to emulate him? Because that would be pretty dumb.
If one ever visits the Medical Museum, last I heard located at Walter Reed Army Hospital grounds -- but with the recent merger with Bethesda Naval, might have moved -- had a very daunting exhibit of death by shotgun...in vivid color. I don't recall seeing it last time I visited 15 years ago, but this 64 y/o recalls it quite well when I saw it at twelve when I visited in (then next door to the Air & Space Museum.) They say it was moved because the military wanted its exhibit back -- I say because it probably dropped some tourists...shocked the elders....frightened the horses...but amazed children (like me); remember, this was pre-internet.
The entire top half of people's heads, as I recall (as 52 y/o memories recall) were cleanly cut off as if halfed by a really sharp meatcleaver. Others were gone from the nose up...and then those who decided to put it in their mouths...ah.ah.ah (folks, if ya gotta do that: do it in the woods, will ya! The animals will thank you...the insects get to much...and your relatives don't have to attempt the horrid clean up of what must be left on the walls and couch.
Suicide is not a matter to take lightly. Anyone who attempts suicide needed help and did not know how to get it or was ignored by those who recognized the signs.
Fun fact, everyone who's attempted suicide via shotgun to the head is trying to emulate Hemingway. Curse his name.
"attempted"? I kind of think there must be very few failed attempts at suicide via shotgun to the head. Perhaps if the ammo was old...
You would be surprised, the recoil of the shotgun tends to pull the barrel out of the mouth or from under the chin, causing a fair number of people to fail and just end up removing a jaw or part of their face. But you know the old saying, if you fail, try, try, again.
Preacher
and God loves a tryer....
Over the last few months, Nerve comments have become much more amusing and Reddit-y.
As far as rejection letters go, it's on the shocking side, but not particularly well written. I remember HST as cleverer than that. Most particularly, it strikes me as pre-Internet shocking. In 2011, this kind of writing could be a facebook status update and go without notice. Maybe HST was just doing it at the right time before it came par. Bah .. the older I get, the more boring my heroes were.
My thought, too. If you're going to slam someone for being a poor writer, the letter should be well written.
Y'all sound like the Tea Party: long on criticisms; short on solutions! Curious to know some specifics on how y'all would improve the piece. It's written better than Teddy's effort, which suffers from both repetitive syntax and unnecessary punctuation.
Thompson dead and in the ground and the submitter is probably still enjoying life in South Bend. That's rich.
Actually, Thompson was made into fireworks shot out of a 153 ft cannon in Woody Creek, Colorado. My god, man, do you just spew it out involuntarily?
Living longer hardly means you win. I wonder, is it possible to enjoy life while in South Bend?
Gag is a gristle head. I concur.
I succeeded at suicide with a shotgun last Thursday. I hate Hemingway. Fucking loathe the bastard.
Throbbing gristle. It's all I have to say.
found this shot I took of hunter years ago.
http://carlgeers.com/media/k2/galleries/109/huntersthompson.jpg
For a second, I thought he was wearing a handcuff. That would have been an interesting fashion statement.
Thanks for the photo. That reminds me that either the first or second show that I went to see when I moved to San Francisco in 1990 was Hunter at Zellerbach Auditorium, I believe, in Berkeley. He was staggering, mumbling and incoherent. There was none of the historical and cultural perspective, outrageous personality or rapier wit that I'd paid to see on display; only a broken down stumblebum. One weird thing was that from where I sat, I couldn't discern whether he had so little regard for a paying audience that he arrived too blitzed to perform, or whether the blotto persona was an act he was putting on for us credulous rubes. Either way, it was one of the most disappointing spectacles and disillusioning performances I've ever paid to witness.
Come to think of it, I don't recall anything he wrote after that that was either terribly compelling or coherent: if memory serves, through the '90s (aside from dredging up earlier, previously unpublished works), Hunter came up with mostly fragments that were chock-full of cliched vitriol that rang like a paint-by-numbers imitation of his righteous weirdness at its peak (pun intended).
Strangely, when he spoke during the event that the image is from, he wasn't challenged at all by the audience and I sensed that he just didn't care to go out of his way if the audience was only capable of asking him "have you ever had a girl buns up and squealing". I was pretty embarrassed for the school.
You're all a bunch of ignorant sheep. fuck you and have a nice day.
Baaaaa! People like you are the dung that's left behind. Have a crappy day!!
I'm insulted and offended. I'll be comign around to see you, Mr. Horrorshow Sir, immediately after the cutters finish with me.
The funny thing too is that Hunter started out as a "military photojournalist" working on some Air Force base newspaper (think, small town paper.) Even then he railed against the system: somehow I can't see him dealing well with any authority, especially military...hehe.
You're all fucking stupid. Every fucking one of you. I hate you all.
Me too?
Honesty is so underrated! Made me chuckle...
That wasn't a "rejection" - it was an advertisement for the piece submitted to Hunter Thomspon - never before have I wanted to a read something as much as want to see that piece "rejected" in that incredible "teaser."
a guy who tried so hard to be witty...to entertain himself? i hope he had fun and also the person getting rejected. i was not so amused reading such so called 'piece of art'