And you thought the Betty vs. Veronica debate was contentious: fresh off their most recent efforts to get an ad for a drain-cleaning product off the air, conservative group/perennial plantar's wart on the foot of mainstream media One Million Moms is threatening to boycott Toys "R" Us for selling a Archie comics issue that features a gay wedding. Right Wing Watch reports that the American Family Association-sponsored group will not shop at Toys "R" Us if the national toy store chain fails to remove the book from its shelves.

According to the sample letter on the organization's website, the moms (presumably all one million of them) take umbrage with the cover, which features Archie character Kevin Keller and military doctor Clay Walker smiling broadly and waving under a banner that reads, "Just Married":

These comic books are sold at the front checkout counters so they are highly visible to employees, managers, customers and children. Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to same-sex marriage in a toy store. This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon, which is becoming extremely common and unnecessary. A trip to the toy store turns into a premature discussion on sexual orientation and is completely uncalled for. Toys "R" Us should be more responsible in the products they carry.

The letter ends with a plea for the company to remove the issue from their shelves, with the note, "My decision to shop in your stores depends on it."

It's your move, Toys "R" Us. You can satisfy these ladies' demands and change the name of your store to God-fearing Heterosexuals "R" Us; or you can stick to your guns and continue to sell the issue, and perhaps try to piss the moms off even more by changing your logo to Geoffrey the Giraffe engaging in auto-fellatio. What's it gonna be?  

Tags Archie

Commentarium (8 Comments)

Feb 29 12 - 8:54am

How is gay marriage a topic too complicated to take up with a child ?
I have 2 boys aged 7 and 10 and I think I probably explained what gay marriage was a couple of years with every question kids ask.....just answer it and don't over explain..... they'll get it in their own way at their own pace...... Oh and of course I explained "They are both going to hell" :-) ...... just kidding.....

Feb 29 12 - 11:27am
Alex Heigl

All I can think of is Louis CK:
"You see someone stand up on a talk show and say 'How am I supposed to explain to my child that two men are getting married?'... I dunno, it's your shitty kid, you fuckin' tell 'em. Why is that anyone else's problem? Two guys are in love but they can't get married because you don't want to talk to your ugly child for fuckin' five minutes?"

Feb 29 12 - 11:35am

I don't understand the big deal with telling children about homosexuality. On a family vacation to Key West at age 7, I saw two women kissing in the street and asked my parents why, never having had exposure to homosexuality before. They explained that it's not always a man and a woman who fall in love, sometimes it's two men or two women, and that you should never judge people for who they fall in love with. I guess it's only complicated to explain if you're a hate-filled bigot. Children would have a lot of trouble coming to terms with the idea that you're supposed to hate that nice man over there because he's marrying a man.

Feb 29 12 - 7:23pm

Exactly. It's only hard if you're trying to justify your irrational bigotry. My three-year-old is friends with a little girl who has two Moms. Moreover, there are all kinds of blended families with multiple parents and grandparents. You want to know what I find hard? Explaining to him that Grandpa A isn't alive any more and what that means exactly. Two people loving each other is an easy concept for a child to grasp. Death -- that's the hard one.

Feb 29 12 - 11:56am

Let them boycott. I'd rather not shop with homophobic assholes anyway!

Feb 29 12 - 12:50pm

With the recent Ellen, American Muslims & Plan Parenthood public relations nightmares, corporate policy no longer bend to this kind of threats as much as they use to.

Feb 29 12 - 1:40pm

They have every right to boycott Toys "R" Us, just as pro-choicers boycott Domino's Pizza.

Sep 05 12 - 5:09am

They most certainly have the right, but it doesnt make them any less of an asshole for doin it. On the one hand you claim to be teaching your child acceptance & tolerance & to love thy neighbor, & on the other you're teaching them it's ok to judge someone by their choice of lifestyle. Lol What a bunch of bullshit! Kids are always more open and understanding of the concept of love than adults. It's not a difficult convo. They love first & are taught hate later. I respect the sensitivity of a young impressionable mind & I was very reluctant to have my partner around my 6 yr old first. I wasn't sure how this would affect her. Unknowingly, I was being prejudiced against myself! That is until she asked me one day when he and I were laughin about something if we loved each other! I nearly choked, but I didn't lie. She simply said "Ok, he got Santa Clause to get me an American Girl & he's nice to me & you & I like him. When Mommy & Daddy loved each other they got married & had me. Why don't you get married and then you can have a pretty ring and when you get a little girl I can be her big cousin." Out of the mouth of a babe. She's 11 now, & there have been other questions over the years. Of course the why's, and does it bother is if people don't like us because of it, but none with answers that she couldn't seem to get a handle on. Except for the question of why don't people like us because we love each other. She still can't really understand that, & I don't know how to explain it in a way that would make sense to her, or myself for that matter. She doesn't know what an asshole truly is, so until she does, I just say they're haters for now...she kinda knows how to associate that lol !-)
It'll take more than a Million "Asshole" Moms to shut down Toys "R" Us, or rob me of my right to have the same public relationship as is broadcasted by tradition in this straight world! Fuck 'em!......