R.L. Stine’s five tips for a scary Christmas

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Actually, Goosebumps mastermind R.L. Stine gave seven tips for a scary Christmas, but two of them were merely plugs for a new show bearing his name. We're not suckers over here at Nerve!

Unfortunately, we're not mathematicians either, so we had some trouble figuring out how to re-rank his list. After entire minutes of botched calculations and whispered arguments over whether we should ask Carol in accounting for help, we decided to just run the list with its original numerals.

So here's items 2-6 from "R.L. Stine's 7 Ways to Have a Scary Christmas."

6. Trim the tree blindfolded. (Ouch!)
5. Use Grandma Edith's ashes as tinsel.
4. Make a bug cake — tell relatives it's a fruitcake.
3. Have a pine-cone-eating contest.
2. Light the Christmas candles blindfolded. (Double ouch!)
That one with Grandma Edith seems a bit grim, no? He's still got it! Also, do you think Carol in accounting is male or female? I have my suspicions.