Anti-radiation underwear will hide your shame from the TSA

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In response to the moral panic provoked by the new, extra-revealing TSA scanners, Colorado company Rocky Flats Gear has released radiation-proof underwear designed to, um, prevent your junk from getting irradiated — and also to keep TSA workers from seeing things for which they'd normally at least have to buy you dinner. It's not clear whether Rocky Flats Gear was founded in response to this very crisis — the underpants seem to be all they sell — but they're probably making a fortune this week, with story after story about TSA-related outrage hitting the news.

Questions come up though: if a paranoid TSA agent scans your trousers and sees a suspicious fig-leaf pattern, mightn't he imagine that what's behind it is a non-metaphorical explosive? If you try wearing these things through an airport security check, please come back and tell us how it goes.