News

Arizona now soliciting money for border fence

Pin it

Arizona, continuing on its quest to unseat Florida as the most batshit state in the union, has begun soliciting donations to build a giant fence along the state's border with Mexico.

Though the actual bill authorizing the fence was signed long ago, the authors took a "fuck it" stance when it came to actually figuring out how to pay for the thing, declining to specify exactly how the project was going to be funded. There was some vague talk about using prison labor (what is this, O Brother, Where Art Thou?) and private contractors, but a website accepting donations went live today, which means that Arizona has decided on the noblest way of funding an illogical, racist project: panhandling.

Thankfully, there are some people that acknowledge the utter stupidity of the project: The New York Times found a quote by then-governor Janet Napolitano regarding the fence:

"You show me a 50-foot wall and I'll show you a 51-foot ladder at the border. That's the way the border works."

Napolitano has since been promoted to Secretary of Homeland Security, proving that one of the smartest things an Arizonan can do is leave. 

Seriously, though, you can't sum up the problem with this whole fence idea any better than that, and asking people to privately fund it is either going to prove that there are a whole lot of rich, gullible racists or that the citizens of Arizona are smarter than we give them credit for. I hope it's the latter.

Side note: Napolitano's quote has me planning a gritty courtoom drama based on the struggle to get this fence built. I'm calling it The Border. At the end of every episode, the handsomely racist state senator will stare off into the middle distance and deliver the closing line: "That's the way the border works."