Breaking news: sex dolls not “recognized flotation devices”

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Flooding in Australia

You know all that terrible, apocalyptic flooding happening in Australia? It's forcing thousands of people out of their homes and has already caused the deaths of twenty-five Australians. Well, the floods have moved to Victoria this weekend, and two residents decided to utilize the flood waters for recreational purposes. The male and female couple, both nineteen, thought it would be fun to raft through the flood-swollen river using their inflatable sex dolls as flotation devices.

Unfortunately, the young lady's sex doll rebelled, miffed at being used for non-masturbatory purposes, and girl was left clinging to a tree until emergency workers arrived. Police eventually rescued the couple; Senior Constable Wayne Wilson commented, "We’ve got people busy with rescues and to have to divert resources to that sort of thing is not ideal." The fate of the escaped sex dolls remains unknown.