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Celebrities gamble away your money in secret poker games

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Celebrities: they're just like us! They do their laundry, walk the dog, and get together with friends for poker games. Except their laundry is handmade by preternaturally dexterous slave-tailors, their dogs are government-bred super-canines capable of flight and pyrokinesis, and their poker games are held in luxury Beverly Hills hotels and funded by illegal Ponzi schemes.

Upsettingly youthful everyboy Tobey Maguire, Welcome Back, Kotter actor Gabe Kaplan, and professional Greek Nick Cassavetes have been implicated, along with poker pro Dan Bilzerian and a hodgepodge of other L.A. douchebags, in a lawsuit. Allegedly, the group used illegally-obtained funds as winnings in a series of poker games held in luxury hotels.

The "regularly held, high stakes and clandestine 'Texas Hold 'em' poker games" were organized by one Bradley Ruderman, currently in prison for various financial misdeeds. Ruderman allegedly enticed at least twenty-two investors to give him around $44.3 million, which he then used to cover his gambling losses.

The suit calls the poker games "exclusive events, by invitation only," and notes that "there was a regular roster of players consisting of wealthy celebrities, entrepreneurs, attorneys and businessmen." None of the celebrities are being charged with criminal acts, though the plaintiffs seek to have their winnings returned to them.

I'm generally a pretty reasonable guy, but Rage Against the Machine just came on Pandora, and that, combined with my higher-than-usual caffeine intake, is making me feel a little bit testy. The idea that famous people get to gather for secret Ocean's Eleven-style poker games feels a little unfair, but the fact that they're doing it with someone else's money? That's downright unsavory.