Cops shut down Wal-Mart meth lab

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Wal-Mart is an almost unearthly place where you can buy Justin Bieber CDs for under $10, possibly get pepper sprayed on your way to electronics, and, it turns out, cook meth. For six whole hours.

That's right: a 45-year-old woman managed to cook meth in a Tulsa Wal-Mart for six entire hours before the police stopped her. Elizabeth Alisha Greta Halfmoon, whose ancestors basically doomed her to drug experimentation with that last name, was taking chemicals from bottles in the store and mixing them together to make meth on Thursday. When security officials finally realized in the evening, "Hey, that shifty lady's been here since noon, and it looks like she's concocting something," they called the cops. With the exception of one officer who sustained minor chemical burns on his hand, no one was hurt, but customers were a teensy bit peeved that Halfmoon got so far in her science experiment.

Officer David Shelby told reporters that the incident marked the first time he had ever seen someone attempt to manufacture meth in a store. Clearly, this guy's never been to the cleaning products section in Costco around 4:30 pm.