Denny’s new “Cheesy” menu is even worse for you than the KFC Double Down

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Denny's mac and cheese patty melt

Undeterred by endless news items about America's obesity epidemic, Denny's has jumped head first into "This is Why You're Fat" territory, launching a new "Let's Get Cheesy" menu that puts the disgusting, infamous KFC Double Down to shame.

As our more savvy readers might have guessed, the menu basically involves dousing normal diner staples with as many extra forms of cheese as possible. Eight of the nine items on the menu have more calories than the Double Down, but the real standout item is the Mac N' Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt, which, at 1,690 calories and ninety-nine grams of fat, also packs a bigger caloric punch than an entire stick of butter.

The sandwich itself features mac n cheese, a ground beef patty, "zesty Frisco sauce," other undefined melted cheese, all stuffed between two butter-soaked pieces of potato bread.

Ok, say what you will about this being a culinary and dietary atrocity, but I still totally want to try it. Just one innocent, cheesy bite couldn't possibly push me over the edge into heart disease and hypertension… right?