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European drug minister: In Britain, cocaine is ‘a harmless part of a successful lifestyle’

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British Guy Doing Cocaine

Well, it’s official: if the European Union was just one big rager, Britain would be the girl wandering up to you near the bathroom and slurring, “Do you… party?” A just released study shows that Britain leads not only the European “league table” in cocaine use among fifteen to thirty-four-year-olds but the entire world, out-snorting even American users. Apparently US cokeheads, an estimated 4.2% of young people, need to step up their game if they expect to catch up to the British rate of 6.2%.  

And why might the Brits be so fond of Bolivian marching powder? Because it’s seen a “harmless accompaniment to a successful lifestyle,” of course! Such was the unfortunately worded explanation by Wolfgang Gotz, director of the European Drug Agency. We’ll spare you the suspense about the rest of his interview: Gotz goes on to explain that drugs are bad and, as you might have heard, cocaine use can “escalate quickly.”  

Also escalating quickly in the UK: use of crack and “Meow Meow,” i.e. mephedrone. Damn, maybe they really do need to slow their roll over there.