I fucking hate jogging. I'm not anti-exercise — I'm a member of one of the most hated classes of people in NYC: the avid biker. But there's something about running that stopped being interesting to me after I turned sixteen. Little kids will run for no reason other than that they saw another kid running: "Where are you running to? Never mind, there's no time — just explain on the way!" But as an adult, if I see someone running, I'm more likely to wonder if Jumanji has finally happened.
Which is why I was unsurprised by this news: researchers found that signs listing the amount of jogging it would take to burn off calories from a soda dropped sales of sugary beverages by fifty percent. This, compared to signs listing the caloric content of the drinks or a sign saying a soft drink accounts for eleven percent of recommended daily calories.
Researchers targeted corner stores near middle and high schools in low-income neighborhoods in Baltimore. They noted that signs merely listing the calories in a drink seemed to have no effect, but that the signs listing the recommended daily value percentage dropped sugary drink purchases by forty percent.
Study leader Sara Bleich:
"Why is that the minutes of jogging was most effective? My personal feeling is that jogging works because it's a negative thing."
Well, yeah. Anyway, the take-away here? High-fructose corn syrup is the white man's poison, and fuck jogging.