A former cop in California put in his bid to become the creepiest guy in the world recently when he posed as a massage-parlor inspector, requested a full-frontal massage, and then asked the parlor for money.
Yes, there really is such a thing as a massage-parlor inspector, but this man, Edward Justin La Porte, is not one:
This guy walked into the parlor, flashed his gun and badge, and, eventually, flashed a lot more. After pretending to take notes on his clipboard, he told the manager that he "needed a massage because his gun holster hurt his back and shoulder."
The manager summoned a masseuse. [Orange County Sheriff's Department spokesman Jim Amormino said that when the masseuse walked into the massage room, La Porte was on the table, naked.
"After the massage on his shoulder and back was done, he rolled over and requested her to massage the front of him," Amormino said. "Obviously, she thought it was some type of sexual misconduct like masturbation or something. She said they don't do this kind of stuff and he should leave the building."
La Porte then got dressed and told the manager that she owed him $200 for the inspection, Amormino said. When the manager said she didn't have the money on hand, La Porte said he would come back later to get it, Amormino said.
When he left, the manager called a city official, who got there in time to catch La Porte. He's now being charged with suspicion of impersonating a police officer, burglary, and inadvertantly writing the Farrelly Brothers' next big comedy.