Four Loko back on shelves with all fun ingredients removed

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Four Loko

Well, this is a bittersweet day. First, some good news: after a media uproar led to its banning, Four Loko is officially back on shelves all over New York, not just in that one shady deli on your block. And now, the bad news: in order to get there, the drink's makers had to take out all the caffeine, taurine, and guarana that once made it great, meaning that the only fun ingredient left in the mix is just plain old malt liquor.

Now, why anyone would put up with the terrible, terrible taste without any of the manic caffeine buzz that used to come with it is beyond me, but nonetheless officials are still worried. "Caffeine or not, if they are still selling it to kids, we will be cracking down. Kids still like it," said the head of New York's State Liquor Authority. In other words, this will only be fun for drunk children now, and maybe not even then. Welcome back, Four Loko. I guess.