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Not often does a news story involving child abuse make me crave an extra-crispy family-sized bucket of KFC, but leave it to the Internet to make the unthinkable thinkable. Patricia Krentcil, a forty-four-year-old mother from New Jersey, was recently released on a $25,000 bail after she took her five-year-old daughter tanning. Because Chuck E. Cheese is sooooooooo early '90s and what's that phrase we were taught in school? "A harsh beam of synthetic ultraviolet rays radiating our body keeps the doctors away?" Maybe I'm remembering it incorrectly.
Despite suffering burns, the five-year-old showed up to school the next day with what appeared to be a huge-ass sunburn and told the class she "went tanning with mommy."
When asked about the incident, the girl's father denied she was ever in the booth and blamed the sun for the major burns.
This whole big thing happened, and everyone got involved. It was 85 degrees outside, she got sunburned. That's it. That's all that happened.
It was probably that ten or twenty second walk from the car to the tanning salon that caused the daughter's massive burns. That's why I follow the advice my grandfather gave me on his death bed: "Jeremy, wear sunscreen everywhere you go. Even if you're gonna be inside all day. You never know when that Nazi sun is gonna git ya." And if I gave him lip about it, he would smack my face right off my head.
Patricia went on to say that it's pretty normal for kids to be exposed to the luxurious world of tanning.
It's like taking your daughter to go food shopping. There's tons of moms that bring their children in.
Okay, so obviously Patricia isn't going to leave her daughter home alone while she turns herself into a rotisserie chicken, but what's the next best thing? Leaving her alone in the waiting room of the tanning salon? Do you know what kind of people go tanning? People who have dollar signs in their names and dress their puppies in vests. That's not a safe environment for a five-year-old girl.