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Houston cop fired for tear-gassing cook-off rivals

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You know, avoiding bacon or pork jokes in an article about a Houston police officer being fired for lobbing a tear-gas grenade into the tent of his rivals at a cook-off won't be easy, but I think I can manage. Houston Police Department Officer Mike Hamby, a thirty-year veteran of the force, has been fired for tossing a "powerful chemical irritant" into the tent of his chief rivals, the Fayette County Cookers, at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo barbecue cook-off. 

HPD officials wouldn't disclose the reasoning behind Hamby's actions or any of the details surrounding their internal investigation, but it was probably motivated by some kind of altercation between the two tents. Those cook-offs can get pretty… heated, riot-like, maybe?

Unsurprisingly, Hamby has denied doing this, and his local union is backing him up. Not a great cause to get behind, guys.

The classiest part of this story? The Fayette County Cookers' tent was populated by two wheelchair-bound amputees, who also happened to be veterans. Ouch. That little detail really puts this pig in a blanket… of justice.

Damn, I was so close.