Kim Jong-il orders Big Mac deliveries from China

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Looking at a watermelon

Kim Jong-il would be funnier if he weren't essentially a mass murderer. The dude is infamous for his stupid glasses that he wears at all times, parachute jackets, and looking at things; all delightfully ridiculous. But he is also well known for having quite expensive tastes and acting like an aged rockstar, especially ridiculous considering he is head of a failing nation of starving, distraught people who idolize him as a God. And what ambrosial concoction does this God fuel himself with? Why, Big Macs of course.

Beijing customs and Seoul officials have been keeping tabs on North Korea's spending, and it breaks down like this: corn, rice, and other foods that feed the masses make up only four percent of imports. The importing of foreign cigarettes, on the other hand, rose 117 percent since last year, and foreign liquor is up ninety-four. And to further support his cronies, Kim endorses McDonald's deliveries from China to the homes of his elite officials, in an effort to keep them fat and happy, or at least, placated. This and imported goods from luxury brands Gucci, Rolex, and Armani, mean North Korea's socio-economic gap is the largest on earth.

While brain-washed officials eat their guilt, North Korea continues to request international aid, and after last summer's floods, food shortages remain severe. These rich North Koreans not only have horrible taste, they're also horrible at running a country.