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Large asteroid to breeze past Earth today

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An asteroid the size of an aircraft carrier gently breezes past Earth

Today, our planet will narrowly avoid a large, summer blockbuster plot.

Scientists have reported that a large asteroid, roughly the size of an aircraft carrier, has been approaching Earth and is scheduled to make a very close trajectory past our planet. While those of you who have seen Deep Impact may be concerned, NASA officials have known about the object long enough to have an entire program dedicated to its study. The asteroid (also known as 2005 yu55) has been observed by the Near-Earth Object program for the past six years, and the researchers have deemed it harmless.

The object is set to make its pass sometime around 6:28 PM EST at a range of 202,000 miles. It'll be the closest an asteroid has come to Earth since 1976, and it's said that we won't have another approach until 2028.

While some may see this as a harmless event, there are those of us who see an asteroid approaching America while there's a black president with a soothing voice as too great a coincidence… I guess what I'm saying is that people over fifty aren't going to live.