Man sues BMW for giving him twenty-month erection

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A fifty-two-year-old California man named Henry Wolf has unintentionally discovered the ultimate male-enhancement solution after a four-hour motorcycle ride two years ago, but he's none too pleased about it. Wolf is suing BMW of North America, as well as after-market seat-maker Corbin-Pacific Inc., after the "ridge-like seat" of his 1993 BMW motorcycle left him with a severe case of priapism, or persistent, lasting erection, which afflicted Wolf for a period of twenty months.

Wolf claims that the painful condition set in not long after a 2010 ride, and he's "now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial, emotional and mental anguish." According to Wolf's attorney, Vernon Bradley, his client underwent a procedure several weeks after his injury attempting to steer blood away from his genitals in hopes that the boner would go away. Recently, one problem has supplanted another, as Wolf's perpetual wood has changed to impotence, which may require surgery.

Now, I'm not a doctor, but a cursory knowledge of medicine would seem to indicate that it's usually the opposite of a hard-on that's the problem. But this isn't the first time seat-design and a motorcycle's vibrations have been linked to problems involving infertility and impotence. As the Michigan Institute of Urology's Dr. Michael Lutz explained:

"It's been long known that compression of the neurovascular supply to the penis — if it's compressed for a period of time, whether it be on a bicycle seat or some other device — it can actually cause prolonged numbness of the genitalia. Not only in men, but women can also get numbness in that region if they're compressing those nervous structures to that region of the body."

Wolf is suing in excess of $25,000 for general negligence and liability, and seeking reimbursement for lost wages, hospital and medical expenses, and general damage. Surprisingly, however, he's not suing over the loss of the freedom to wear sweatpants in public.