Man unwittingly steals batch of Viagra-laced pies

It's not like they were cooling on some sexy windowsill or anything. No, the man who lost his Viagra-laced batch of pies was en route to the World Pie Eating Championships in England when he was robbed by a presumably hungry villain.

Apparently the erectile-dysfunction medicine also has the ability to keep potatoes firm, said Vince Bowen, the newly pie-less baker.

The theft prompted event organizer Tony Callaghan to warn locals to watch out for any "hardened criminals." It was reported in the British paper the Metro, whose headline read, "Thieves face stiff sentence after stealing Viagra pies."

Also, everybody in England is a twelve-year-old boy.