The marching band at Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario has been suspended from performing this semester for producing materials containing "offensive language that is particularly demeaning to women." The language in question involved such choice phrases as, "I will rape you with a lamp" and the cover title "Mouth raping your little sister since 1905." In addition to the pamphlets, which featured photos of band members manipulated to look as if they had penises instead of instruments in their mouths, songbooks with raunchy, misogynistic lyrics were also recovered by the dean of student affairs at Queen's, when an anonymous student dropped them off at her office. Band geeks: they've gotten a lot raunchier since American Pie, and also a lot less funny.
Due to the administration's discovery of the pamphlets, members of the Bands, which is Canada's oldest marching band, are barred from performing in this semester's scheduled events, and will be required to attend sensitivity training. In a statement Friday evening, the Bands stated that while they take responsibility for their actions, they "do not take responsibility for the university's reaction with regards to the suspension of our performances. It is unfortunate that such a small part of the Queen Bands' past has tarnished our 2011-2012 year."
With this semi-apology apology in mind, Bands members, might we suggest a different title page for your esteemed publications? Perhaps something like "Queen's Bands: ducking responsibility and behaving like piccolo-tooting douchebags since 1905"?