New translation of the Bible removes the dirty words

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And they're not even that dirty! Say goodbye to reading out Bible verses like a pirate, though, because the word "booty" will now be replaced with "spoils," according to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. Apparently the word got too many people laughing during mass, which, as someone raised Catholic, I can say would be a sweet relief. Here's what the Church had to say:

"We needed a new translation because English is a living language," says retired auxiliary bishop of Milwaukee Richard Sklba, part of the review and editing team.

Fifty scholars and translators, linguistics experts, theologians and five bishops spent 17 years on the project. They were immersed in original manuscripts, the Dead Sea Scrolls and archaeology findings unearthed since research behind the current text, published in 1970.

This is a marked change from the nearly two millennia the Bible stayed in Latin, I guess. Other important changes: "When I walk through a dark valley" becomes "When I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" (probably a "Gangsta's Paradise" reference), and the proverb "The Ideal Wife" becomes "Poem On the Woman of Worth." All problems solved, Pope Benedict XVI!