Newest fake thing all the teens are doing: “vodka-tamponing”

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Have you heard the (admittedly slightly-old) news? Teens across the country are involved in a dangerous new activity: soaking tampons in vodka, sticking them up in their business, and getting drunk during the school day. This makes a ton of sense, and sounds very real. Let Stephen Colbert tell you more:

Some thoughts:

1. Is it fun to be drunk during the day in high school? Obviously we all go to brunch and have one to five mimosas and get why it's fun to be drunk on a Sunday, but… during geometry? No, thank you.

2. Not to be indelicate, but I have no idea how this even works. If a tampon gets soaked in vodka, wouldn't it be kinda bigger? Like a wet sponge, and therefore difficult to get into your business? Guys, you can just sneak vodka into school with a water bottle. It's really not that hard.

3. Is this new? Because I was hearing about it years ago and yet it's suddenly all over the place. (I know you're relieved that I broke my legendary silence on this pertinent issue.) But also, no one actually does this.