(Mr. Gingrich, with a show of fingers, please tell us how many millions of dollars in debt your campaign is.)

As the Republican primaries grind on towards their grim conclusion, human Easter egg Newt Gingrich recently shocked observers with the news that his presidential campaign isn't going as well as it could be.

Yesterday, the man who once declared himself the eventual nominee revealed that his campaign is deeply in debt, owing nearly 4.5 million dollars (which is nine times more than he owed to Tiffany's) and said that he'd be willing to support Mitt Romney, should Mittens reach the required number of delegates.

Racking up heavy debts with other people's money is nothing new in politics. (Recall the massive debt that Hilary's presidential campaign carried long after she began working for the guy she'd competed against.) The most shocking revelation here is that Gingrich's supreme self-confidence has begun to waver under the withering glare of basic math and reality.

Gingrich's own Daddy Warbucks, casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, recently came out saying that Gingrich has no chance of winning: and as we all know, the first rule of politics is that when your chief bankroller publicly says you can't win, it might be time to to count your marbles and call it quits.

Yet fear not! He's not dropping out! Slightly muted though it may be, that Newtonian bluster remains largely intact, with Gingrich assuring the public that he's going to stay in the race for the ideological good of the party. Just think of the Republican Party as a three-masted, seventeenth-century frigate. No one wants Newt to be captain, or even first mate, but he's bravely going to stay on board anyway. If you need him, he'll be talking expansively about astronavigation on the poop deck.

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