Oops: 1,500 boys got their penises circumcised for nothing*

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Circumcision party!

As you already know, Marikina, Philippines, recently threw quite the "circumcision party," an event where 1,500 boys pretty much simultaneously lost their foreskins in a bid to enter the Guinness Book of World Records. According to city officials, the mass circumcision was more than just a stunt; it "aimed [to offer] free, safe surgeries to poor Filipino families that would otherwise turn to less sanitary alternatives," while the Guinness Book of World Records business was presumably a surefire way of promoting circumcision awareness.

But now it looks like those boys should be asking for the rest of their penises back, because the meticulous folks at Guinness are now being all, "Just kidding, we're so not giving you a world record for that, haha. But nice try, we guess."

In a statement, Guinness said it does not recognize the "number of medical procedures within a set period of time or in a mass group due to hygiene considerations and risks."

It added that those taking part in the circumcision party should have been advised by qualified doctors and that the well being of the patients should be the principal concern and not just the numbers.

Marikina, for its part, claims that the affair was plenty safe, even if there were more than a few laymen performing delicate medical procedures on little children. Yet alas, Guinness is putting its foot down on this issue. But hey, if anyone can handle it, it's the city of Marikina — they do, after all, have the world's biggest pair of shoes.


*We of course know that their circumcisions weren't "for nothing." Unless we don't, because there are all those anti-circumcision people too, and we don't want to make them mad either. So, yeah, whatever you think — let's go with that.