Hear a brilliantly profane pre-World Series Game 7 pep talk

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If you were one of the twenty-million-plus viewers who tuned into the World Series — at least, that was the number for the incredible Game 6 instant classic, and not-so-incredible-follow-up in Game 7 — then you're well aware that Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington can be, well, kind of animated. Every strikeout his pitchers marked saw him jumping up and down as if he were on a pogo stick, and every Cardinals double-off-the-wall saw him throwing down sunflower seeds with the disgust one usually reserves for mailers from local chapters of the Tea Party asking for money.

But what you maybe didn't know was that behind the happy-go-lucky, clean-cut facade FOX cameras dwelled on, there's one mean motherfucker who wants to smack the shit out of those cocksuckers in the other motherfucking dugout.

The recording, which was taken by some enterprising anonymous staff member in the Rangers locker room following their twice-being-one-strike-away-from-a-ring Game 6 performance, is part-Rex Ryan, part-Al Swearengen, part-Joe Pesci-in-Goodfellas, part-David Mamet play. It is pure poetry. Washington knows just the right moments to break out each "motherfucker" and "cocksucker" without ever getting to the point of overuse. It is conversational, funny, and full of life lessons. For example:

"He pitch ball, ball cross plate, we gonna knock the shit out of it."


Oh, except for his team actually losing Game 7, making this speech a bit meaningless in retrospect. But still, George Lucas should use his re-editing powers to mess with Moneyball and replace Brent Jennings (who plays Washington during his Oakland A's days) with the profane powers of Samuel L. Jackson.