In a story that I can only claim to be happening "according to Twitter," infamous Seattle masked vigilante Phoenix Jones is on the scene at Seattle May Day protests, and he might be turning a little less Batman Begins, and a little more The Dark Knight. (Comic book people: I apologize, I could've used a more esoteric reference but I wanted to get my point across.) Twitter and The Stranger are reporting that Phoenix Jones pepper sprayed some "anarchist" protesters. From the Slog,

Cienna Madrid reports, "I ran into Slog commenter Baconcat, who was pepper sprayed by Phoenix Jones. Baconcat was taking pictures at the courthouse and Phoenix was screaming at the group, 'I'm not against you guys, I'm here to keep the peace and protect this historic building,' and then took them out with pepper spray. Baconcat says his eyes are dry as hell."

Who watches the watchmen? Twitter, I guess. Twitter is twi-xploding with remarks about the pepper spraying, and most of it isn't happy with the non-police officer spraying caustic material in civilians' faces. 

And not only is Seattle's superhero going a bit to the violent side (reportedly), but now there's a fucking supervillain to boot. Great. Rex Velvet has announced himself as Phoenix Jones' archnemesis, but it seems unrequited right now, like how I called the girl from The Secret Life of Alex Mack my girlfriend in 1996. Mr. Velvet posted this video on YouTube this morning:

Huh, a video from a purported enemy hours before you pepper-spray a bunch of civilians? My gimmick sense is tingling...

This guy probably shouldn't have pepper-sprayed those people. But those anarchists probably shouldn't have been wrecking shit for no reason. Really, the only takeaway here is (as usual) that everyone sucks.

The story is developing, and hopefully we'll have more for you later. I'm like Lois Lane, but I look better in heels. 

UPDATE: The man himself, Phoenix Jones, just tweeted "I NEVER PEPPER SPRAYED ANYONE I DID GET SPRAYED BY ANARCHIST "PROTESTER" OCCUPY IS OK BUT ROITS [sic] ARE NOT," conflicting with previous reports that he did, in fact, pepper-spray someone.

Hopefully there is some security footage of some kind, so we can find out what really happened. In the meantime, which (fictional or otherwise) superhero's Twitter feed would you most gladly read?

Commentarium (5 Comments)

May 01 12 - 5:50pm

It was all live-streamed as it was happening, you should have done some research before posting this article. The protesters threw pepper bombs and you can see the superheroes retreat as they did not pepper -spray anyone.

May 02 12 - 3:16pm

I refuse to believe that the great American hero Phoenix Jones would retreat.

May 01 12 - 5:53pm

Phoenix Jones' pepper spray is famous for dying people's faces orange. Agreed that he is not the one who pepper sprayed people, big deal anyway, my concern are all the protesters breaking windows and hurting people

May 01 12 - 6:44pm

it's not that the reference isn't esoteric enough, it's that the reference isn't in anyway apt.

May 01 12 - 7:09pm
mr. man

i'm pretty sure people who call themselves baconcat are just asking for pepper spray. (not really, that's just a little joke.)