Researchers working on drugs to replace medical marijuana

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In a world where modern medicine has yet to cure the common cold or human mortality, a group of scientists has inexplicably taken it upon themselves to make drugs that would replace medical marijuana, having possibly separated the painkilling ingredient from the high-making ingredient in cannabis. Hmm.

Researchers at the U.S. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse believe they've singled out the function of THC that dulls physical pain, and that it's separate from the part that causes what doctors apparently refer to as "unpleasant side effects such as hallucinations." In other words, it's likely that that a new, un-fun, weed-equivalent drug is on the way that would severely hamper the need, legal argument for, and general possibility of accessing medical marijuana.

And here we all made fun of the Insane Clown Posse for voicing their distrust of the scientific community, when we should have believed them all along.