Treasure hunter launches search for Bin Laden’s body

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Bill Warren, Californian diver and treasure hunter, is setting out on a mission to recover Bin Laden's body from its watery grave. U.S. forces reportedly killed Bid Laden at his Pakistani compound, confirmed his identity using DNA matching, then placed his body in a weighted bag and buried it from the USS Carl Vinson warship in the North Arabian Sea. The lack of evidence released to the public led some to doubt about this version of the story.

So, Mr. Warren, with an impressive 150 discovered wrecks to his name, has found financing to prove all those doubting Thomases wrong. He'll scour the floor of the Arabian Sea, recover Osama's remains, then photograph them just to shut up all you X-Files devotees with your cries of, "Why would they bury the body of the world's most wanted criminal, mere hours after shooting him, in a weird, secret, aquatic funeral?"

Good luck, Bill Warren, on your projected one-million-dollar, two-week-long exploration. But I don't think you're going to find Mr. Bin Laden. Because he's totally still alive and living in Peoria.