News

United Airlines passenger arrested for masturbating during flight

Pin it

Unfortunately, not all airplane news is as fun as Adam Pally live-tweeting his attempt to get Tim Robbins laid. A twenty-five-year-old man flying from Denver to Spokane aboard a United Airlines flight was arrested for masturbating. He probably thought he was being pretty subtle, but he was seated across from two eighteen-year-olds (well-versed in the secretive masturbatory arts). He is being charged with "obscene and indecent exposure of his person" and statements from the aforementioned teenagers claim he ejaculated onto the seat in front of him.

Okay, flying is the worst. We all hate it, yes? But this is a whole new level of gross. First Snakes on a Plane and now this? Remember when flying was a glamorous and exciting affair? When people dressed up and you didn't have to be subjected to pat-downs and the snacks and Diet Coke were ever-flowing?