Wanton monkey thieves are on the loose in San Francisco

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squirrel monkey

Zookeepers, it's time to hide your squirrel monkeys, 'cause some evil masterminds are climbing in your windows and snatching those adorable primates up. (Dated Antoine Dodson reference? Nailed it.) The San Francisco Zoo is beefing up security after one of its male squirrel monkeys, alias "Banana Sam," was stolen from the exhibit earlier this week.

Banana Sam went missing on Thursday night. The zoo later discovered that the thieves had cut through a back perimeter gate and made two holes in the mesh around the monkey exhibit. The exhibit's other seventeen squirrel monkeys remain, but have been moved indoors in case the monkey bandits strike again. The zoo is also doubling security this weekend and offering a $5,000 reward to anyone who returns Banana Sam.

Apparently, the San Francisco Zoo is no stranger to animal heists. Two teenagers were arrested over a decade ago "on suspicion of stealing koalas to impress their girlfriends." Which is a really terrible idea that's clearly not in the best interest of the koala bears but also makes them the best boyfriends ever. Criminals, sure. But mostly the best boyfriends ever.