Watch last night’s State of the Union address in under five minutes

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So you missed President Obama's State of the Union address last night. Well, that's great. Just great. Now what are you supposed to say to the cute, politically minded man or woman in accounting whom you've had a crush on all these years? "You look nice today"? Ugh, yeah right, that would never work.

Fortunately for you, the State of the Union has been condensed into a manageable video. Just watch the following four-and-a-half minutes of the speech's key moments, and you should be up and bloviating in no time! Besides, it's the only way for you to find out why there's a salmon graphic in that picture up there.